If any remember, I was "dragged here" by an infuriating person I was attempting to understand. We knew each other since I was 11 (I am now 20). He was nice then... Something happened, he went downhill and started listening to very sexist people... And dug his own massive hole, and thus is banned from here (all well. You all are just fine (like I am) without any of his input).
Anyways I'm Sena. Figure I should actually be a part of this forum!
Long (really...long...) story shortened as best as I can:
Family life always sucks. Stuck between a parent who is never home, and the other who lacks the ability to emotion (asides frustration)... Not the best for a kid. That and said parents are my aunt and uncle, which is a lot better than being with the one who had me.
Beginning of last year, was with someone who meant the world to me. I have a problem with subconsciously pushing people away, and inability to handle any stress, and in turn he moved out leaving me stranded out of town in the place we moved to not but 2 weeks before. I would say "none of you know how it truly feels to feel the cold, emptiness of loneliness when you are for once, truly alone" but I bet some of you can relate.
Sadly, I feel like I am becoming like the very woman (my biological mother) that I refused to be. Not sure if this "depression/frustration/anger" swing is genetic or not since she would be the only one to show for it. Everyone else is just fine. Unless she was stupid during pregnancy (which explains lots in all three of her kids). I don't particularly like strangers, or people in general. They irritate me. Definitely cannot be in crowds either (recently realized this!!)
I had a 2 year streak of being really good... Being positive, relaxed, a lot more easy going. Trying to get back into it... Really hard. I'd like to - considering now I have a rescue dog who depends on me, and being 4 months pregnant... I don't want to feel scared that I'll screw up.
At least I am with someone who is in it for the long run. But stress sucks... Since we did just move to a place we own (my SIXTH move in a YEAR), money is tight due to some unforeseen circumstances, workplace bossman has become a Dictator/Tyrant (he is being reported by another associate), and I miss having my hobby of raising and breeding Betta Fish (I found it relaxing =D Time consuming... But a rhythm I could get into).
Anyways, that's the gist.
Anyways I'm Sena. Figure I should actually be a part of this forum!
Long (really...long...) story shortened as best as I can:
Family life always sucks. Stuck between a parent who is never home, and the other who lacks the ability to emotion (asides frustration)... Not the best for a kid. That and said parents are my aunt and uncle, which is a lot better than being with the one who had me.
Beginning of last year, was with someone who meant the world to me. I have a problem with subconsciously pushing people away, and inability to handle any stress, and in turn he moved out leaving me stranded out of town in the place we moved to not but 2 weeks before. I would say "none of you know how it truly feels to feel the cold, emptiness of loneliness when you are for once, truly alone" but I bet some of you can relate.
Sadly, I feel like I am becoming like the very woman (my biological mother) that I refused to be. Not sure if this "depression/frustration/anger" swing is genetic or not since she would be the only one to show for it. Everyone else is just fine. Unless she was stupid during pregnancy (which explains lots in all three of her kids). I don't particularly like strangers, or people in general. They irritate me. Definitely cannot be in crowds either (recently realized this!!)
I had a 2 year streak of being really good... Being positive, relaxed, a lot more easy going. Trying to get back into it... Really hard. I'd like to - considering now I have a rescue dog who depends on me, and being 4 months pregnant... I don't want to feel scared that I'll screw up.
At least I am with someone who is in it for the long run. But stress sucks... Since we did just move to a place we own (my SIXTH move in a YEAR), money is tight due to some unforeseen circumstances, workplace bossman has become a Dictator/Tyrant (he is being reported by another associate), and I miss having my hobby of raising and breeding Betta Fish (I found it relaxing =D Time consuming... But a rhythm I could get into).
Anyways, that's the gist.
