shawn81
Member
Today was a hard day for me. A year ago today my sister died, an overdose. After a long day and a lot of thinking I noticed it's not hard for everyone to see just how down and out I am.
Over the past year I lost my mother and my sister, became homeless and started bumming at a friends house. I don't have a great job and make very little money and when I'm not at work I have my college classes. I'm very unhappy with myself for a huge number of reasons. And to pull it all together I can't seem to get out of this slump.
My whole life has pretty much been the same circle of terrible life event or long lasting depression, then I dwell on it, I push through and push it back and swallow the pain to move on. But now I just can't. I have no family left. I have no home. I barley have anything to call my own. I don't have time to meet women at all, and when I do I've always been rejected or not even noticed.
I just feel like I want to quit trying go off and be a hermit or something. Be alone the way I was meant to be. And I guess the only thing keeping me moving working and going to class is I have no safety net. I only have a few more months I can stay here, I have no family to go to. All I can do for a place to stay is beg my friends to let me sleep on their coach for a little bit of money, and that just makes me feel low, real low.
I try to talk to women, just for conversation, because I just like the company sometimes I know some girls don't want to date they just want I a friend, and me too at this point in time. However, I get nothing. I tried online sites, school groups, small parties (I get anxious at big parties) and people through friends but the most I get is maybe 3 to 4 texts at most.
I'm not the kind of person to consider suicide, but I am close to just giving up. It's a huge load to carry and I'm carrying it all alone.
Thanks for reading a lonely man rant at 3 am at work.
Over the past year I lost my mother and my sister, became homeless and started bumming at a friends house. I don't have a great job and make very little money and when I'm not at work I have my college classes. I'm very unhappy with myself for a huge number of reasons. And to pull it all together I can't seem to get out of this slump.
My whole life has pretty much been the same circle of terrible life event or long lasting depression, then I dwell on it, I push through and push it back and swallow the pain to move on. But now I just can't. I have no family left. I have no home. I barley have anything to call my own. I don't have time to meet women at all, and when I do I've always been rejected or not even noticed.
I just feel like I want to quit trying go off and be a hermit or something. Be alone the way I was meant to be. And I guess the only thing keeping me moving working and going to class is I have no safety net. I only have a few more months I can stay here, I have no family to go to. All I can do for a place to stay is beg my friends to let me sleep on their coach for a little bit of money, and that just makes me feel low, real low.
I try to talk to women, just for conversation, because I just like the company sometimes I know some girls don't want to date they just want I a friend, and me too at this point in time. However, I get nothing. I tried online sites, school groups, small parties (I get anxious at big parties) and people through friends but the most I get is maybe 3 to 4 texts at most.
I'm not the kind of person to consider suicide, but I am close to just giving up. It's a huge load to carry and I'm carrying it all alone.
Thanks for reading a lonely man rant at 3 am at work.