Online friendships: Less Lonely or More?

[Limlim]

I have a small group of online friends I've known for about 8 years. Around 3 years ago or so we started having annual vacations where we would all fly in to some place to hang out for a few weeks. It's working out really well so far. But it would be great if I could hang out with them more often. Simple things like playing rock band together was more amazing than the actual sights we saw during the vacations.

My interests are really weird so I don't have a lot of people I think of as real friends aside from them. People that get along with me exist, but they're so rare that I have to find them spread out in odd corners of the globe and take a plane to see them.

Offline I just fake it. I'll occasionally hang out with people from work and pretend I like the same things as them. But I just stay distant and polite for the most part. Smile and nod while they talk about the local sports team, their kids, their relationships their cars... Whatever boring honeysuckle they like that day. I wouldn't trade my online friends for anything.

 

[cumulus.james]

I cant even make an online friend lol

 

[rosebud]

I had a few online friends through the last 5-6 years, that I was talking to at regular basis. They didn't made me less lonely or anything like that, but a good way to pass the time when you're thinking what to do each evening. Equivalent of a good movie I guess.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Most of my really long-term online friends, I've met in real life eventually or plan to at some point. I don't consider them any different from real life friends as a general rule, especially when I consider it a realistic possibility that I might visit/see them someday.

Back when I was extremely depressed, they were my lifeline and support. Even when I never met some of the most important people, just being able to tlak to them on the phone and have a sense of support, or just someone to call after class made a world of difference.

Later on, as I have felt less lonely, I don't particularly treat online friends as being all that different from real-life friends. The joys of collaboration means that I can work together with them, watch movies with them, or the like. I suppose that I can't enjoy sports with them, or watch movies with them, but that doesn't make them any less of a friend!

My experience is very similar to Limlim, incidentally - although I don't stay as distant and polite. But yes, there's often less common interest between myself and my real-life friends.

I will say that it can indeed be a little weird to meet online friends in real life. Most people I know have mentioned that it feels awkward as first, and then gets better. That has usually been my experience as well(not always).

 

[Night Owl]

Less lonely in my opinion. I talked and bs'ed with a close online friend from Ultima Online throughout my four years of high school and a couple of years past that, then he vanished out of thin air (that happens a lot online!).

About a year ago I got into The Lord of the Rings Online, I met two guild members from there who I really clicked with, I didn't think much of it at the time, but we hit it off, and found out we lived about four hours away from each other.

I visited them a month ago on a four day weekend, it was the best time of my entire life and I really felt, truly, not alone.

I still talk to them today (through steam's instant messenger and voice chat), as well as a plethora of other online friends and acquaintances through steam, here's to hoping we'll keep the connection as the years pass by. People's experiences may vary though, I lucked out on this one.

 

[Peter Lorre]

I love it when you make some friends online and then after a while you get to see them for the first time in real life and it just clicks there too... ah, the excitement!

Ofcourse, people often just vanish online and we sometimes neglect our correspondence... but to me it still feels the same way as in real life. I care for all of my online friends and I want nothing but the best for them.

 

[Syber Tiger]

it can make you feelless lonely having someone to talk to
but it dont take the want for a real hug/love less

some ppl take it to seriosly and kill the selfs if it "dont work out" i am tolking about online dateing/relationships

but online friends ships realy help well it help me...
adn it easyer to talk online than i real life idk why but for me it is like that...

~tiger

 

[Yoosha]

I don't maintain online friendships for whatever reason. :/*

I had online friends, considered them as best friends, but somehow all of them and I mean all of them deleted/blocked me for no reason (they don't know each other, but I was deleted by 5 best online friends in the same week), yes just like that.. probably they got sick of me complaining about how lonely I am. since then I never showed people my lonely/unhappy side.. being alone and not expecting anything from anyone is better than getting hurt by someone who you think is a best friend.. it's been like 3 years since I last had a best friend, and it still hurt to think why they stopped e-mailing me, replying my messages/blocked/deleted me.... ukhh enough with the complains already ha ha =D it's my time of year where I feel depressed. happy 1st of July everyone =P

 

[Twilight Sky]

If you are a person who needs constant love, then yes, having online friends will make you feel more lonely because it is not friendship alone that will keep your loneliness at bay. However take it from me, a person who literally has no one to talk to for entire days each week.. having a friend to talk to, will always be better than having nothing.

And I mean a real caring trusting friend.

 

[hellopanda]

I think it's more lonely, because humans are often such tangible creatures, and it's hard to make a real relationship with someone just based on talking online. Physical presence means a lot, and while I think it's completely possible to make good friends online, I think it's kind of lonely that you can't actually see them in real life. And it's true that online friends tend to drift away easily, though I think real life friends are the same. But well, friends are always good to have, whether they're online or not. :]

 

[route95]

sometimes I feel that having online friends and no real life friends extenuates the feeling of loneliness.

that's exactly what has happened to me. i think at this point everyone i meet online and my online friends all have friends in real life. they go off and do things have relationships and friendships and in the end they just serve as a reminder of what i don't have but want so badly.

 

[Oslo]

Less. It's important for me to have open avenues of communication very frequently, and there are some things I don't get to discuss very often because it can be harder to find someone with similar interests/emotional make-up offline. Interacting with others who process things similarly to you, who experience things similarly to you, and who can open you to related new things is always nice

 

[Miss Demeanour]

I've met loads of people from online in person. I've made some great friendships over the years but because most of them live far away it's not easy to see them often as it costs money in travel and hotels. In them days I never felt lonely any way, it's only in the last 5 years that I've distanced myself from everyone even though I do still keep in contact with them online.

 

[jean-vic]

Makes me feel more lonely. Sat there waiting for people to speak to me, but they don't. But, online friendships are all I have because in reality I have none. Therefore, they are a necessary evil.

 

[fortasse]

It really depends on my mood. Sometimes talking to an online friend helps to relieve my loneliness just that little bit. Other times talking to an online friend makes me realize how incredibly lonely I can be at times.

As others have expressed, it's really not fun to have friends online, but be unable to meet them. That can exasperate the feeling of loneliness.