opinion

[EveWasFramed]

OK, let me ask you folks a question...

Let's say that a friend asks you for your opinion on a new person in their life. You have a gut feeling and you tell them that you don't think this new person is 100% who they say they are and as it turns out, you were very much correct. OK, let's say this happens more than once, and each time, you're right. OK, so now a third time comes around and you say the same, because that's what you really think, given the limited amount of information you have. This time, let's say the the friend takes offense and insults you, even though they didn't mean to. My reaction to this would be to tell the person that their question was answered and then ask them to drop it, so there won't be any bad feelings between them, because this is obviously a delicate issue that could cause a breakdown in the friendship.
Now, please keep in mind that you didn't put your nose into this friend's business, but rather the friend asked you for your thoughts. Also keep in mind, that you like the person too well to LIE to them about what you think.

OK, so what do you do??

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, I'd be honest. If I don't like someone, I don't sugarcoat it. Plus, if that person gets offended, tell them not to ask anyone for their opinions anymore. I don't see why so many people ask for opinions, then when someone gives them theirs, they get all pissed off. Tell them to keep it to themselves. They have to know there's a possibility that they won't hear exactly what they want.

 

[Silvernight]

I would warn my friend that he/she may not like what they're going to hear and then state my opinion in the most "politically correct" manner possible. I admit that I have a problem with saying unpleasant things about someone out loud unless that person had already pissed me off well and good.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You are being a good friend by telling them the truth. In fact; i think you are protecting them by doing so. They should be grateful to have such a good friend. I know I would be.

Just keep telling them the truth...and if they dont like it; tough luck. Maybe they'll come around though and appreciate what you do for them

 

[grundel70]

Always tell the truth and be honest with your friend. Not doing so will only hurt them more.

With that said, often if you can relay your thoughts and opinion in a tactful way it can aleviate any type of negative tension between you and your friend.

'He is a bum, drop him' may piss her off

'Listen honey, I love you to death. You mean the world to me. However i really have a bad feeling about this guy. I don't want to upset you, but I have to be honest...'

 

[samba101]

Well after the 3rd time of not being listened to I would say to them "Hey I don't think this is a great idea anymore I can give you an opinion but do you really want it?". Pretty hard to say but I would have given up by now seeing that the opinion wasn't really wanted in the first place and as for the pissed off friend they shouldn't have asked in the first place if they didn't want the truth.

 

[Steel]

Hey, if you are asked for your opinion.. then you have to be honest. To me, it sounds like your friend can already hear warning bells at the back of his/her head, and is actually looking for someone to say "hey, it's all going to be alright"... which of course you cannot say. Your friend is being a little unfair.. because if you aren't going to like the answer to a question, you shouldn't ask it.

Bearing all that in mind however... you have to be honest. It's what friends do, even when its painful.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Thanks for all of the responses. I think I did the right thing, even though, as the messenger, I got killed (so to speak).
Thanks again! *hugs*

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well....now you know. Your friend is going to do whatever she/he
is going to do. That's why it's boarder line between an opinion
and advice. My freinds dose that to me all the time...they do
what they want to do no matter what my opinion is. i don't
give advice for reasons...lol

I think the key is to remain friends...no matter what decision
your friend makes. If it gose will...then great. if it gose sour,
I guess that's what friends are for..someone you can talk to
when things goes bad or mistakes are made...without being judge.

Unltimatley your friend is going to have to make a decision.
This will also allow your friend to growp up or learn how to
make better decisions. Take full responsiblities for his/her
decisions wheather it gose good or bad. Obviously your friend
is an adult. By you making decisions for her..it's unfair to you and for he/her as Steel said.

Maybe your friend isn't really asking you for an opinion...it just came out like that on the surface.
Maybe you're friend is willing to take a risk or a change with the person in question.
Maybe it's just he/her way of saying..." we're still going to be freinds ..even if this thing I'm thinking
of doing gose bad and I might look like a fool when it blows up in my face".lol
Maybe your friend is actaully really saying..." bare with me...I'm a freaken slow learner."
You have to read between the lines sometime....lol

Or you can ask your friend straight up..Is he/she making the desicion base on emotions or rational thinking.
It's different if your friend said..." hey I'm not thinking too straight because my emotions are all over the place...what do you think ?"
Even so...curiousity gets the best of most of us.
You know how it is when you have an itch you gatta scratch...lmao

I guess take your freindship between your freind and you out of the equation of the decision you friend is making
or whatever is going on in he/her life. This way your friendship will not be put on the line or get mesh into she/her situation.

 

[EveWasFramed]

well....now you know. Your friend is going to do whatever she/he
is going to do. That's why it's boarder line between an opinion
and advice. My freinds dose that to me all the time...they do
what they want to do no matter what my opinion is. i don't
give advice for reasons...lol

I think the key is to remain friends...no matter what decision
your friend makes. If it gose will...then great. if it gose sour,
I guess that's what friends are for..someone you can talk to
when things goes bad or mistakes are made...without being judge.

Unltimatley your friend is going to have to make a decision.
This will also allow your friend to growp up or learn how to
make better decisions. Take full responsiblities for his/her
decisions wheather it gose good or bad.

Maybe your friend isn't really asking you for an opinion...it just came out like that on the surface.
Maybe you're friend is willing to take a risk or a change with the person in question.
Maybe it's just he/her way of saying..." we're still going to be freinds ..even if this thing I'm thinking
of doing gose bad and I might look like a fool when it blows up in my face".lol
Maybe your friend is actaully really saying..." bare with me...I'm a freaken slow learner."

Or you can ask your friend straight up..Is he/she making the desicion base on emotions or rational thinking.
It's different if your friend said..." hey I'm not thinking too straight because my emotions are all over the place...what do you think ?"
Even so...curiousity get the best of most of us.

I get what you're saying, Rocket. Unfortunately, my opinion was taken as an insult and I was pretty much insulted and disowned by said friend, for being "negative". When someone keeps coming back to you for your opinion, and you express your concern about giving it, and they STILL ask, then I feel that the one asking for the opinion shouldn't behave badly simply because they didn't like what you had to say. Do you??

 

[Lonesome Crow]

well....now you know. Your friend is going to do whatever she/he
is going to do. That's why it's boarder line between an opinion
and advice. My freinds dose that to me all the time...they do
what they want to do no matter what my opinion is. i don't
give advice for reasons...lol

I think the key is to remain friends...no matter what decision
your friend makes. If it gose will...then great. if it gose sour,
I guess that's what friends are for..someone you can talk to
when things goes bad or mistakes are made...without being judge.

Unltimatley your friend is going to have to make a decision.
This will also allow your friend to growp up or learn how to
make better decisions. Take full responsiblities for his/her
decisions wheather it gose good or bad.

Maybe your friend isn't really asking you for an opinion...it just came out like that on the surface.
Maybe you're friend is willing to take a risk or a change with the person in question.
Maybe it's just he/her way of saying..." we're still going to be freinds ..even if this thing I'm thinking
of doing gose bad and I might look like a fool when it blows up in my face".lol
Maybe your friend is actaully really saying..." bare with me...I'm a freaken slow learner."

Or you can ask your friend straight up..Is he/she making the desicion base on emotions or rational thinking.
It's different if your friend said..." hey I'm not thinking too straight because my emotions are all over the place...what do you think ?"
Even so...curiousity get the best of most of us.

I get what you're saying, Rocket. Unfortunately, my opinion was taken as an insult and I was pretty much insulted and disowned by said friend, for being "negative". When someone keeps coming back to you for your opinion, and you express your concern about giving it, and they STILL ask, then I feel that the one asking for the opinion shouldn't behave badly simply because they didn't like what you had to say. Do you??

Lmao...that's why I don't give advice.
I'll shift the conversation to something like..."what flavor icecream
do you like ?"
If my friend say..."chocolate."
I'll say...
"yeah me too, only on a Tuseday with scarlett Johnaason on top"

Or sometimes I'll just say....I dunno.

Then I'll just say ...whatever decision you make will be the correct
decision for you.

I dunno Eve....just as long as your and my friendship is cool...it's all good
What's your favorite ice cream ? lol

 

[marigold]

oh that's a Nirvana song:}}

 

[LonelyDragon]

When someone keeps coming back to you for your opinion, and you express your concern about giving it, and they STILL ask, then I feel that the one asking for the opinion shouldn't behave badly simply because they didn't like what you had to say. Do you??

I completely agree. I get people asking my opinion on things all the time. Drives me nuts when they get mad when I tell them what I really think rather than what they want to hear. Then when they go against my suggestions and it backfires on them they wonder what happened.