Opinions Welcome

[NeighborMike]

Alright not quite sure where to start

Basically I live by myself because my GF went to dental school. I have a good amount of friends but have no desire to hang out with them even though they ask me all the time.

Ide just much rather be by myself. Some timess i feel actual loneliness and want to be around people but I cant bring myself to call any of the people I know to hang out or doing anything

People text me all the time saying "yo what are u doing" which is obviously an opening to get me to hang out, but rather then taking the bate (even if i am bored or lonely) i respond with some kind of bland answer just to blow them off

If i for some reason do go out of the house of the house I have no problem or anxiety or anything from being around people. Im attractive, people like me, its easy for me to talk to girls. But I just normally dont have any desire to do any of these things

I even do things at odd hours to avoid contact with people like going to the food store at 9am on a week day since I dont work

Even when my GF comes homes to visit on weekends for the start of it i enjoy seeing her again, but after a while i fades away and I just count the minutes on the clock untill I can be alone again


Whelp....this is basically a rant about myself. All opinions welcome becuase i cant for the life of me figure out why I prefer to be alone of everthing

 

[Lonesome Crow]

You just through phases of thinking and feeling people are retarded in general.
Don't worry i go through the samething sometimes

I'll go through the samething. Maybe it's more habitaul for me.
I'm a musician. I spent many, many hours. day , weeks alone writting
or playing my music. i wish not to be bother or interupted my humans.lol

I'll go through simular phases or cycle even when I'm at work.
I need alone time to get my work done...the **** phone riging
or people knocking on my door errs the hell out of me sometimes.

As long as you can try to maintain some type balance...it's okay.
As lone as you don't isolate yourself from people for a long period of time
you don't loose your social skills.

 

[Amy Twain]

Hi NeighborMike,

I think you're an introvert person--but there's really nothing wrong with it. http://www.innerzine.com/creativity/famous-introverts

If you think you're fine just the way you are, then, you don't need to wonder or stress about those stuff that makes you quite 'different' from others. You're normal.

If you want to be alone, that's fine. If you want to hang out with others, so be it. You already said it yourself that you have no probs or anything about being surrounded with people, and that's good.

Here's the thing: if people started to want to hang out with you, then give it a shot--don't blow them off. You got to have some balance in life. As much as you want to be alone, you got to welcome some people in your life. If you don't feel like hanging out with them, just tell them nicely--don't offend them (at least they invited you than not thinking of you at all).

You're lucky you now, if people keeps inviting you to hang out and stuff--it simply shows they enjoy your company and they want to spend some time with you.


To your success,
Amy Twain
www.innerzine.com

 

[NeighborMike]

You just through phases of thinking and feeling people are retarded in general.
Don't worry i go through the samething sometimes

I'll go through the samething. Maybe it's more habitaul for me.
I'm a musician. I spent many, many hours. day , weeks alone writting
or playing my music. i wish not to be bother or interupted my humans.lol

I'll go through simular phases or cycle even when I'm at work.
I need alone time to get my work done...the **** phone riging
or people knocking on my door errs the hell out of me sometimes.

As long as you can try to maintain some type balance...it's okay.
As lone as you don't isolate yourself from people for a long period of time
you don't loose your social skills.

So what do you do to make yourself feel ok?
Im not a musician but I get in little moods where I just sit and do nothing and listen to music

I just dont understand why I feel so lonely but I wont do anything about it I guess is my main issue

If i could by bymyself and not feel so crappy I wouldnt have this issue. But day in and day out the most exciting part of my day is going to sleep. Just so I dont have to feel lonely anymore

Sometimes i even lose sleep with the thought in mind that this process will repeat again the next day.

Really the only thing I enjoy doing is going to work 1 day a week on satursday. All i do is answer phones to help out so my boss and the other manager dont have to come in. But although I don talk to anyone there either accept on the phone and making sure no one lost equipment.

And i know your gonna say maybe I should find another job. But i dont need the money but its actually pretty hard to find a very simple low paying job like working in a movie/video game store or something of that nature

 

[grundel70]

Hey there...

I can only speak for myself, but with me when I start to isolate bad things happen. I start to feel lonely, depressed, and generally like a social outcast. Before I was beaten over the head with all of the therapy and crap I have been through over the past couple of months I would not know what was happening and just keep going down that path and then end up in the 'feeling sorry for myself' mode in the end.

At the same time, there is also solitude. Solitude is good, isolation is not so good. Solitude is when I want to be alone for awhile and just play my guitar, or write, or do whatever hobby or interest I like to do. I don't need the company of anyone, and will turn down invites. Isolation, for me, is when I start to feel detached. I start to ignore or blow off my friends. I find no joy in most things and quickly become 'bored'...even though there are a million things I could or should be doing. When this happens I need to check myself and get back into life again. I go out with a friend, even when I don't want to. I often find that I have a great time and feel so much better when I do this. I know the alternative for me is either getting really depressed, down, full of self loating, and even possible a relapse back into active addiction. None of these things is what I want for my future.

Also, the clinical medical side of me knows that the things you describe are classic symptoms of a number of psycological things...like depression for example. Something that is physically wrong that can be treated numerous ways. If it were me, I would tell my friends exactly how I feel. If it is solitude you seek, you will get it and move on. If it is worse, then you will have other people know what you are going through that can help you heal. Getting out of depression or loneliness...for me at least...is near impossible to do by yourself. It is a condition that feeds upon itself...the lonelier you feel, the more you do to isolate and make yourself alone...and then you feel even lonlier...and it goes on and on and on. For me, it took alot...and mean alot...of pain to finally say enough is enough...

Just my 2 cents. I am not judging at all, but only trying to speak for myself and hope that maybe others can relate...

 

[allenborder]

hi there...

My partner of 8 yrs will NOT give me an explaination as to why he has a female co-workers name stored in his outbox saved messages under empty, as ervice he uses for s refil wen out of credit.her name is there but no number.any ideas?

 

[JustJones]

Hey NeighborMike. you're a lucky person! there are a lot of lonely people out there that are not lonely by choice. If you're happier on your own, then just enjoy it. I'm similar, as in, I avoid people a lot and prefer to be alone, but after a short while I begin to crave attention. I only wish I was like you! lol