• Please register and login and join us. Registered members may block ads while they are logged in.

Opinions

Help Support A LonelyLife forum:

Nutfewass

Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2021
Messages
7
Reaction score
6
Location
South Carolina
Idk I’ve always felt kind of alone. I’d give someone a fake version of me because I wasn’t happy with myself for whatever reason.. idk I had muscles a good personality good looks I never had problems with people but nobody could ever really connect with me so I’d have to make up something to connect. Nobody could just really know me because I couldn’t open up. But I’ve had almost zero human contact for almost a year and a half. I was homeless for about half of that time. I had nothing, nobody at all. Sleeping under a bush in the hot humid weather in FL. I wasn’t homeless as I’m going to friends houses or hotels, I had a black garbage bag with a travel kit for shaving and brushing teeth which I eventually didn’t even do because I felt bad walking in stores smelling like I smelled. I always didn’t like homeless people but, those people in Florida you see sitting in the hot hot sun under a tree with there head down just looking out of life, that was me. But I wasn’t on any drugs at all I’ve never been a drug addict. I was just not in touch. I’d sit for hours just sitting down looking at my hands. Or nodding off at a wawa table because I hadn’t slept in a bed in months then getting kicked out and having to walk miles to the next place that police wouldn’t harass me at. It was really really bad. I’ve been locked up a couple times and have already thought I hit rock bottom. I was a bad person in the past but I always had a good heart, and put people I care for in front of me, but it’s like everything I touch falls apart. Now that I’ve started from rock bottom and got myself in a better financial position legally the right way, I look and see All the damage I did. Holidays spent behind steel door on the slab, with a 7 minute phone call to my family. I see what it did to my parents. I see what I’ve did to myself. It just messes with me and sometimes I feel like I’m not in my body anymore and I’m just controlling it almost. I have gotten religious because I almost feel like I’m cursed. I can’t have any type of friendship or relationship at all, I will mess it up some how. Or nobody will even give me the chance. It’s almost like people just hate me without even knowing me at this point, if I’m having a decent conversation with someone I just met, it’s going good then boom out of no where I’m blocked 5
Mins later. My cousin won’t even call me. I’ve never been a flaw person either I respect who respects me
 

Sarah G

A Lonely Life Supporting Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2017
Messages
3,075
Reaction score
1,392
Location
Netherlands
I'm sorry you've been through so much, it's really a lot. To not have a place of your own, even a room you can sit on the floor, does something to a person (in my opinion). Maybe it makes us feel not worthy, not human, not lovable.
Whatever it does, it's not good and I'm sorry you're feeling so alone.

I hope you'll find some connection on the forum, welcome.
 

Nutfewass

Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2021
Messages
7
Reaction score
6
Location
South Carolina
I'm sorry you've been through so much, it's really a lot. To not have a place of your own, even a room you can sit on the floor, does something to a person (in my opinion). Maybe it makes us feel not worthy, not human, not lovable.
Whatever it does, it's not good and I'm sorry you're feeling so alone.

I hope you'll find some connection on the forum, welcome.
Thank
You, and it’s crazy because that’s not even a quarter! I just think that and prison had the biggest effects on me. I’ve held so much stuff in for so long I never even told anyone about me being homeless
 

Sarah G

A Lonely Life Supporting Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2017
Messages
3,075
Reaction score
1,392
Location
Netherlands
In society there's s lot of judgement about homelessness and prison so we feel a lot of shame. I don't think you'll find much judgement on this forum.
People judge out of fear. Any of us can become homeless or imprisoned, a lot of folks just don't want to admit that to themselves.
 

Nutfewass

Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2021
Messages
7
Reaction score
6
Location
South Carolina
this forum is proving to be just as stupid as I thought it was going to be. Nobody will really understand it at all idk wtf is wrong with society there’s a lot of people like me and we didn’t do nothing wrong we just get shut out from the world for nothing
 

Latest posts

Top