confusedandalone
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- Joined
- Oct 10, 2008
- Messages
- 8
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Hi, i just wanted a bit of advice really. I've reached crisis point! Basically, I am an only child and I now live with my mum and step dad. Ever since i was 16 i have been in a relationship and made friends around these relationships - i was never very good at making friends on my own. im now 23. I moulded myself to fit in with these men and i dont know what i like or anything so it was easier to go along with what they liked because i felt like anything i did wasnt fun etc. I now have to decide whether to go back and work 5 hours away from my mum (i know the place and have friends of ex bf there and ex work people) or to go to uni or get a job closer, even though i am embarrassed to see people from school and stuff. I had kind of decided i would stay away and was upset when me and my ex split cos it felt everything fell down around me. I would like to go to uni but am so unsure id be able to hack it (i like the idea of ot) as i think i am quite dense. i know id have to try it to find out but i dont want to lose the friends i have as im so scared i'll just be getting myself into debt and more low self esteem if i cant do the course or make friends at uni. I worry about my mum when shes older, if i go away and settle there she will need help when shes older. I dont want to mbe friends with others like me cos i feel crap and they will make me feel crap, but birds of a feather flock together. I dont know what to do, all i want to do is curl up and not do anything. I hate myself so much, my body my skin, my lack of conversation, my dress sense, everything. I love my mum but i am embarrassed by her as she doesnt understand stuff and has no friends. i dont want to end up alone.