Please cheer me up

[ilios]

hurr durr, im so sad and lonely, people plz cheer me up, im such an attention whore

If you never had someone, then you're simply a fat, basement dwelling neckbeard who's gross in the eyes of healthy part of society. Get over it and stop being such a pussy and actually do something with you and your life.

If you are just gonna sit here and mock people for being lonely and sad i suggest you leave this thread. Theres is NOTHING wrong in wanting attention, since most of us humans need attention, even you. I can't belive that you are sitting there behind your computer and actually feel that you have the right to write such things to a person who came here for help and support.

 

[aspalas]

Come on, Liam might sound rude but he's kind of right. Hawkx79 is doing something wrong and if he doesn't want to be alone his whole life he should work on this. It's probably not just "bad luck", because let's be honest, it's almost impossible to be 34 and never had any romantic connection when you try real hard. So my advice is change your ways. Read some books on how to seduce women or something (might sound dumb but I've learned a lot from "the game"), improve yourself. Go to blind dates, meet new people, whatever it takes and whatever you want.

This here is btw one of the main things I dislike about this forum, there's almost no criticism. The "lets see the faces" topic is probably the best example. I'm not trying to be rude or whatever but telling people who just don't look extremely good they're gorgeous is just giving them false hope. If someone doesn't look good, tell him/her and tell this person what to improve. It's no use to make everyone here believe they're perfectly fine and they're just unlucky or whatever. Just give honest opinions, improving your (social) life, relationships, is a matter of trail and error.

I'm not saying supporting people is bad, but it's not enough. Instead of telling Hawx you feel bad for him and giving him reasons to ignore his problem, you should tell him you feel bad for him and he should find out what goes wrong and change this (if you want to obviously, and I'm sure you do).

 

[ilios]

Come on, Liam might sound rude but he's kind of right. Hawkx79 is doing something wrong and if he doesn't want to be alone his whole life he should work on this. It's probably not just "bad luck", because let's be honest, it's almost impossible to be 34 and never had any romantic connection when you try real hard. So my advice is change your ways. Read some books on how to seduce women or something (might sound dumb but I've learned a lot from "the game"), improve yourself. Go to blind dates, meet new people, whatever it takes and whatever you want.

This here is btw one of the main things I dislike about this forum, there's almost no criticism. The "lets see the faces" topic is probably the best example. I'm not trying to be rude or whatever but telling people who just don't look extremely good they're gorgeous is just giving them false hope. If someone doesn't look good, tell him/her and tell this person what to improve. It's no use to make everyone here believe they're perfectly fine and they're just unlucky or whatever. Just give honest opinions, improving your (social) life, relationships, is a matter of trail and error.

I'm not saying supporting people is bad, but it's not enough. Instead of telling Hawx you feel bad for him and giving him reasons to ignore his problem, you should tell him you feel bad for him and he should find out what goes wrong and change this (if you want to obviously, and I'm sure you do).

I see where you are getting at, both of you and liam. But he can tell the truth without saying that the person is "a fat, basement dwelling neckbeard who's gross in the eyes of healthy part of society."

There is way healthier ways telling a person that maybe they are not approaching the problem right. By writing insults, you wont get the OP to actually take in your real message but instead just assume that you wanted to insult them.

Honesty doesnt have to be harsh and hurtful

EDIT: Have you ever considered that people on here tell each other that they are attractive, because thats their opinion?? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. just because YOU don't find all the people in the "Let's see the faces" attractive, doesnt mean that nobody finds them attractive.

EDIT 2: I mean, the thread isnt named "please tell me the harsh truth"

 

[frizzler]

yeah so some guys are beta ugly, fat, shy whatever and go all their lifes without touching a women/men
but it you want to avoid that
1- you need to stop bitching about it and do something, yeah it's easier to say than to do but if you want to be happy you gotta fight for it (honeysuckle ain't gonna fall down from the sky)
2- if you think that there are good parts of not having gf you are so wrong the breakups, cheating and all that are part of the experience that is life and why would you toss that away?

and to the people that ***** about the bitching, yeah you're right but there's two ways to do something, the right way and the ****** way

 

[PyramidHead]

because let's be honest, it's almost impossible to be 34 and never had any romantic connection when you try real hard.

Yet, the group of the so-called "Absolute Beginner" is growing in numbers very fast... showing that these days, shyness and lack of experience can throw you out of the race pretty early. There are a lot of them around his age, some very older, some very younger...
Some people blame the media, the internet or modern society itself, but the fact is, that it is far away from being an impossible fate, these days.

It may not be too late to try, but if he truly wants to give up, than we have to respect his decision for himself.

The positive aspect of this decision is mostly the freedom you get. Now, you can really do anything that (nearly) no female will like. Like some of my classmates in university, you can become the one who beats the system. Getting all Pokemon as a grown up, not caring what others may think. Going to knight festivals, replaying historical battles, get a harem in every Eroge, or escape from reality into fiction and games. Just kidding, even if it wouldn't matter at all... because one day, we all may get old enough to live in our own little world (aging, you are a scary one)

Of course, the point is that you can ignore wasted efforts and focus your energy on what you truly like. Wanna have your own little zoo? A japanese-style garden? Paint pictures? Write novels? Whatever it is, you will have a lot time for it, so use it. Who knows, you may even find your passion in it and who knows, this passion may even attract a girl when you at least expect it. And well, even after 40, it isn't unusual to find someone... so my last advice: Expect nothing, but be grateful about what you get.

 

[RB46]

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=16678&pid=474669#pid474669

 

[Hawx79]

It's probably not just "bad luck", because let's be honest, it's almost impossible to be 34 and never had any romantic connection when you try real hard.

I cant believe some people are saying this to me! It makes me ******* mad!

Well believe me no girl ever showed any interest in me my whole life and so i tried to accept at an early age to accept i was going to be single hoping the desire of wanting girls would disappear. But it doesnt work that way because we men just want to have women no matter how unwanted and ugly we are.

And now well into my 30´s i still have no experience or idea how i would cope of being with a woman and thats not a good thing as it diminishes my rate of success with women even further down.

I take good care of my health and i work out every single day and try to be a good person too but still no matter what, women are still disgusted by me because they find me ugly.

I just cannot accept it simply to be alone because i want a woman to love and im afraid i have go thu my entire life with this painful desire of wanting something so badly that ill never get. And that is where i needed help to ease my pain with this thread, because im beginning to realise there´s nothing i can do as i already tried alot (eg dating sites and just asking girls out) and all i get is rejection and a damaged self confidence.

 

[frizzler]

It's probably not just "bad luck", because let's be honest, it's almost impossible to be 34 and never had any romantic connection when you try real hard.

I cant believe some people are saying this to me! It makes me ******* mad!

Well believe me no girl ever showed any interest in me my whole life and so i tried to accept at an early age to accept i was going to be single hoping the desire of wanting girls would disappear. But it doesnt work that way because we men just want to have women no matter how unwanted and ugly we are.

And now well into my 30´s i still have no experience or idea how i would cope of being with a woman and thats not a good thing as it diminishes my rate of success with women even further down.

I take good care of my health and i work out every single day and try to be a good person too but still no matter what, women are still disgusted by me because they find me ugly.

I just cannot accept it simply to be alone because i want a woman to love and im afraid i have go thu my entire life with this painful desire of wanting something so badly that ill never get. And that is where i needed help to ease my pain with this thread, because im beginning to realise there´s nothing i can do as i already tried alot (eg dating sites and just asking girls out) and all i get is rejection and a damaged self confidence.

if you are accepting failure you won't succed

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Sorry you're dealing with this issue. Finding someone who's interested in you is very hard. I've met people in my life and tried talking to them, but in the end I didn't feel like we were compatible. Don't be so hard on yourself, do something for yourself first. Rejection sucks, now that you're trying so hard your wearing yourself out. Concentrate on you right now and than when you feel better about yourself, try a different dating site.

 

[Hawx79]

Sorry you're dealing with this issue. Finding someone who's interested in you is very hard. I've met people in my life and tried talking to them, but in the end I didn't feel like we were compatible. Don't be so hard on yourself, do something for yourself first. Rejection sucks, now that you're trying so hard your wearing yourself out. Concentrate on you right now and than when you feel better about yourself, try a different dating site.

Really no dating sites for me anymore, they caused me depression and sleepless nights. And my experience with all women outside that notice im interested in them they dont like it at all. Best i can do is do nothing and just simply hope someone will cross my path, how stupid that may sound, but its true. I feel there´s nothing i can do to speed it up or increase my chance except then to take care of myself in the mean time and hope for the best.

 

[Liam]

*Content removed by forum staff*

I hope you enjoyed what little time you had here, Liam.
Unfortunately, you must leave.

 

[RB46]

you're so pathetic

Liam, I remember your first post here. When you said you weren't capable of putting in words how you feel so you posted a video instead which was very funny and I laughed a lot.

It is very harsh of you to call someone else pathetic who is experiencing the same feelings as you. At least this person is able to put into words how he feels. Are you sure you are not becoming abusive towards him, not because he deserves it but he is able to do the thing that you did not have the guts to do, which was to put his negative feelings into words?

Is that, why you called the poster pathetic? Because that's what you fear You will be called if You talk openly about Your negative feelings?

It is a very brave thing to tell people how bad you feel and ask for help. It takes a great deal of courage.

 

[aspalas]

It's probably not just "bad luck", because let's be honest, it's almost impossible to be 34 and never had any romantic connection when you try real hard.

I cant believe some people are saying this to me! It makes me ******* mad!

Well believe me no girl ever showed any interest in me my whole life and so i tried to accept at an early age to accept i was going to be single hoping the desire of wanting girls would disappear. But it doesnt work that way because we men just want to have women no matter how unwanted and ugly we are.

And now well into my 30´s i still have no experience or idea how i would cope of being with a woman and thats not a good thing as it diminishes my rate of success with women even further down.

I take good care of my health and i work out every single day and try to be a good person too but still no matter what, women are still disgusted by me because they find me ugly.

I just cannot accept it simply to be alone because i want a woman to love and im afraid i have go thu my entire life with this painful desire of wanting something so badly that ill never get. And that is where i needed help to ease my pain with this thread, because im beginning to realise there´s nothing i can do as i already tried alot (eg dating sites and just asking girls out) and all i get is rejection and a damaged self confidence.

Look, I'm not trying to upset you, but I'm pretty sure you're doing something wrong. I can't fully relate to your situation, but you say you don't want to be alone your whole life, and I'm sure there's plenty of time for you to find someone. You should keep trying and never give up unless you can be satisfied with being alone your whole life.

I think you should know that appearance isn't that big of a deal for women. Personality and confidence are much more important (and I didn't just made this up, it's true.). Just put your past experiences behind you and make a fresh start.

If I were you I'd follow a course in dating or something. It might sound pathetic, but I'm sure it'll help you with getting some experience on how to flirt and impress a woman.

 

[EveWasFramed]

The couple of members (who are now banned - one of them for good) who were making such oafish and insulting comments seem to need a lesson in humility as well as learning to have a bit of empathy and understanding. Unfortunately, they do not so now they have to deal with the consequences of such intolerant behavior towards others.

 

[perfanoff]

Thank you Eve

 

[lusker]

I am against censorship, and to some degree think that Liam (although a dick) was making a valid point, but agree that he needed to tone down the aggression and personal insults.

But was he a flamebaiting troll? I don't think so. Liam (although a dick) was as insecure and messed up as the next person on this forum. If we were well-adjusted, would we be here? A shame that were not big enough to tolerate the honeysuckle-stirrers as well as the suck-ups.

 

[perfanoff]

Nobody is entitled to being tolerated, if you bully others because you are insecure you should be prepared for the consequences.
I'm glad this community hasn't degraded by having people bully each other to vent and make themselves feed their ego and feel more secure at the expense of somebody else. The moment this happens, I am off. This is not grade school where ******** HAVE to be tolerated because students can't separate from them, or because staff is physically (financially) dependent on keeping every kid they can get.

 

[blackdot]

Im almost 34 and i know ill always be single and alone. I am unable to hide my desperation to females anymore. Its written over my face for them.
Please tell me the good side of things that ill never have a relationship with a woman?

As someone who is 39 and pretty much in the same boat (other than women don't see my desperation), the only things I can think of to cheer you up are:
You don't need to buy life insurance.
You don't have to run the A/C or heat if you don't want to.
You can sleep any time you want.

Other than that, I can't help ya out.

---

if you are accepting failure you won't succeed

actually if you accept failure and then you fail, then in essence you succeeded.

---

Look, I'm not trying to upset you, but I'm pretty sure you're doing something wrong. I can't fully relate to your situation, but you say you don't want to be alone your whole life, and I'm sure there's plenty of time for you to find someone. You should keep trying and never give up unless you can be satisfied with being alone your whole life.

My coworkers like to tell me that since I can't figure out how to date then the issue must be me. That I am doing things wrong. They think that I'm blaming women for my lack of dating. I tell them that I never said i wasn't the problem. That it could very well be true that I am screwing up since I have no idea what I am doing.

But if I ask for advise on what to do to get dates, they tell me to do exactly what I have already been doing. HA HA HA!

 

[EveWasFramed]

I am against censorship, and to some degree think that Liam (although a dick) was making a valid point, but agree that he needed to tone down the aggression and personal insults.

But was he a flamebaiting troll? I don't think so. Liam (although a dick) was as insecure and messed up as the next person on this forum. If we were well-adjusted, would we be here? A shame that were not big enough to tolerate the honeysuckle-stirrers as well as the suck-ups.

If you have issues with the way the forum is moderated, PM a moderator for discussion - not makes posts in threads. Thank you.

 

[lusker]

If you have issues with the way the forum is moderated, PM a moderator for discussion - not makes posts in threads. Thank you.

No thanks. It's a conversation point, anyway, not a criticism. Is there any reason why we (all of us) can't discuss this publicly? If it helps to balance things, I can post twenty or thirty **hugs!!!*** and lots of smiley emoticons, and maybe even do a bit of rofling?

What I can't promise is that I won't a some point in the future suggest to some whining drama-queen that they should eat a bag of cement (and harden up). But I'll resist the urge for as long as possible, if the Mordant Axe of Banishment is not swung against me except when I deserve it ... ?