Please, PLEASE LISTEN [long thread]

[Devin]

Hi everyone, I'm new here, my name's Devin, I'm fourteen, and bored to death! It's summer now. I was dreading when this day would come. I have only one friend that I could even consider 'close'. Plus she's a girl, and I'm a guy, I've always been ridiculed for hanging out with girls. It started in third grade when I met her, she was the only kid who didn't care about the way I acted. I admired her for that. Everyone else, I mean EVERYONE else would make fun of me, [mainly calling me gay, girly-boy], which really really really hurts a kids feelings/self esteem! The reason I acted too girly was because I was raised by my mom and sister. Since my dad was a pathetic loser who practically left us. That all lasted 'till sixth grade, when I moved to a different school, leaving my only friend and best friend behind, now we only see each other less than ten times a year. Anyways, then in seventh grade at this new school I thought it would be easy to make new friends, it's not. Fortunately, my cousin went to this school, and introduced me to his best friend, soon enough his best friend was my best friend.
Then he constantly made backstabbing remarks about my cousin, which I didn't mind [I never thought he would do the same to me]. So then the summer of me going into eight grade I found out George [ my best friend] was moving four hours away!!! I didn't know what to say, because if I expressed any type of sympathy he would be like, "dude quit being so gay"! Which would hurt. So, I stopped talking to him...since I never saw him. Then in my eigth grade year I hear some rumors he's talking crap about me [making me feel even worse]. So I finally figure out he used me the same way he used my cousin, now we don't talk...period.
But through it all my eigth grade year at my new school was better than my seventh. I met about five more people who are somewhat close to me. Yet, in school field trips and stuff...I never get to choose my partner because no one wants me, On top of all this, through the summer going into eigth grade...I got SEVERE cystic acne [full of liquid], and they hurt extremely bad, and everytime I'd pop one, another'd appear. I felt so horrid, and unwanted. This lowered my self confidence immensly. Now, the summer going into my freshman year of high school, I have been taking some medical drugs to get rid of my acne, which has succeeded. Yet, I'm really bored because I have no friends, I also have gained about twenty pounds, it's hard to tell though, I'm not fat or anything...I'm still so lonely...

---Devin

 

[dea]

Hey Devin, I cant say I understand what you're going through.. I started high school with the same kids i went to primary school with.. but I did change schools halfway through year eight to a school where i didnt know a soul.. and I wasnt one of those beautiful confident people that others just flock to either... you should find that when you start your next year of high school, you'll probably make some friends.. there are always new kids coming and going in high school and they dont know anyone either.. plus, you always end up getting paired off with people or stuck in a group or something .. you just need to make sure you speak up when the opportunities present themselves.. let people get to know you and stuff and they'll come around. and dont bother faking and trying to fit in with the right people and stuff.. its so not worth it. just be exactly who u are, speak up when you get a chance and also try to actually talk to some people first and stuff.. you feel like a gardenia and all sometimes, but in high school there are alot of others like you that feel lonely and horrid and god knows what else.. and ignore the tossers. what people say can hurt alot, yeah, but it never ever ever matters in the long run and other people dont care either.
sorry this probably isnt much help, but i hope things do get better for you

 

[justme]

You should consider joining some after school activities/clubs, attend bit more special classes/subjects that you like, or something similar. There you would be surrounded by people that have like the same things you like and would be the best place to make friends. And you have something to talk about before class that you know they like.

Making friends in a new school is hard, when you don't know anyone there. You might probalby talk to people during lessons, but it's hard to make friends just at lessons. That's the way it was for me in college. During classes I talked to my classmates in group assignments, but after the class was over, they had their friends and things and I had my things (nothing). And I had to always ask someone that could I join your group. I only made new friends through the things we had in common.

I know (from experience) that it might not help when people tell you that this is what you need to do to fix something. You need to realize it your self too and have the determination to do it.

It's great to have you here Devin and I wish you luck in your life.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Devin,

I'm so sorry about these tough situations you've been through. I do remember Junior High clearly...and I'm age 31! It's just a very traumatic time in so many people's lives. I was taunted and teased throughout since I was overweight and unpopular--part of the Nerd Herd.

Just keep hanging in there. The acne is most likely getting better with the medication. Follow your doctor's orders strictly. Don't pop them unless they are like yellow pus and then you should wrap you fingers in an old t-shirt so you don't push germs into the pore.

As for the weight gain, I would suggest some ways of getting active. Do you have a dog? Could you get one? Taking your dog for walks twice a day, especially if you take the dog to long walks in the park, will alleviate your loneliness through the dog, and the exercise, and meeting people who want to pet your dog. So you've got three good things wrapped in one!

Hugs,

LG

 

[dea]

wow, those are really good suggestions and points from both of you!

 

[Devin]

Actually yes I have a dog, he never does get walks..

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Devin,

That's a bummer! Is he a cute dog? If you take him on walks in the park, that is a pretty sociable thing to do. If your dog likes people and is friendly you can strike up conversations with people. Especially if you take him to a dog park where he can run around freely. It's good for you to take him on two walks daily if you are trying to lose weight. If it's really boring, you could wear an Ipod. Just remember that when you are wearing an Ipod, people are less likely to say hi to you since they don't want to 'disturb you' or anyone listening to music.

 

[Devin]

Yes, that's what I used to do [ where an Ipod ], but I got bored still. He is a friendly doggie, and he's very big [german shepherd/siberian husky mix], and loves everyone. Too bad there isn't any dog parks around here, just a park park.

 

[askal]

Hey you're only 14.

Life might get better.

Look at it as an asset. At least at THAT age, you KNOW about women more than most guys your age.

By the time you hit your 20s... You would have a better understanding of women... (which is a matter of life and death skill in my opinion).

And the friendlessness.... Think about it: You're not the only one, dude. Hang in there.