problems, give me some help

[man of one]

In january of this year i came on here asking for advice. I asked if i should add a girl on facebook that i felt attracted to, but barely knew..we talked like 2 times at most..I don't think she even knew my name, but i went ahead and added her like 2 days after asking here and included a message explaining that we had talked a couple of times, I was from college and i would like to know her better, to this day she has not responded or added me..This was before college started..

College starts and we see each other in the hallways and parking lot, but I act like it wasn't me that asked for her on fb, I felt embarassed..I also didn't know if she knew it was me that wanted to add her or if she just didn't...I'm usually uptight and serious and things like this quickly turn awkward for me..I'm ok behind the computer screen, but real life comes and another person appears..I still see her now and then and she still has my attention, but I feel things are just too weird and awkward now, I also don't know how to approach her and if i ever get to chat with her if i should even ask her that i added her on fb cause that may put her in an uncomfortable position...anyways I know her car, and I always have lil ideas like to put a rose on it, preferably hold it with the windshield wipers, with a note on it, but that is all in my head I haven't had the guts to do that..

Since I was failing left and right I started chatting with a girl who is a friend of mine which I liked back in the day..we talked about a bunch of stuff..and since i trusted her i asked if she found me attractive she said she did and that she was constantly checking me out supposedly(she had a bf then and also has one now so nothing could happen) I told her that I actually liked her back when we were still in the same college, that was like in 2011 she said she didn't know that and I even flirted a bit in a friendly manner..It felt good having someone to talk with and let it all out. After talking with her I even talked about all my girl troubles with my mom something i had never done..later on I tried to chat with the girl again but didn't reply a couple of days later the girl left fb and to this day hasn't come back. This was the turning point, I started getting aggressive and withdrawn, cause i obviously thought my convo made her uncomfortable and she either blocked me or just left fb..she was the only link to having a girl that is a friend and she left..I started shunning my family and the guy that was opening up shriveled up and died..Today I came from college after doing poorly on a test and i was just lashing out when i got home, shouting at everyone, destroyed various things by slaminng them against the floor, my mom had to hide my pills cause she was worried i would do something..My performance on the test got me mad (dont like getting bad grades), but the combination of the test and my shitty life, rejections, being ignored is what made me explode, I felt like a double failure, the test was the catalyst..Now a days i spend most of my days locked in my room..don't socialize..

Even after all of this I still like the girl I mentioned in the 1st and 2nd paragraph, but the way I am acting I dont think anything will happen, though the rose idea or something similar may be what i need to push me back again and probably give me a chance with her and give me another perspective in life..

Well that was a good vent...thoughts on how to get this girls attention? is the rose thing a good idea? I really need something to bounce me back, i'm miserable in all honesty so i need help to suceed in one thing in this life at least..thanks for reading i appreciate your advices..If i do the rose thing or whatever i will post pics. I first need to find the guts to do such a thing, something like this is real out of my norm, so it' hard to do it, but following your advices i will do what you guys think is right..cause something needs to change NOW, im not getting any younger and life keeps flying by, i need to act, even if is hard as f#ck for me..thanks for reading...

 

[Regumika]

first thing i want to ask about the girl that you are trying to get. what is it about her that is attracting you? by the sound of it you havent really spoken to her, so you wouldnt really know her.

the other is your female friend. maybe she just doesnt want facebook anymore. more and more people are doing that these days. deactivating their facebook account. so, perhaps this is the first thing to confirm.

 

[man of one]

first thing i want to ask about the girl that you are trying to get. what is it about her that is attracting you? by the sound of it you havent really spoken to her, so you wouldnt really know her.

the other is your female friend. maybe she just doesnt want facebook anymore. more and more people are doing that these days. deactivating their facebook account. so, perhaps this is the first thing to confirm.

I have spoken to her, but that was a while ago like march last year and she was nice when we talked, sadly I just didn't made a permanent friendship back then being the idiot i am, now a days we are like strangers..I'm attracted to her cause of her looks, intellect, enjoy the sound of her voice and she is a good simple responsible respectful person not slutty or anything like that..What i'm looking for is something to break the ice so we become aquainted permanently meaning true friends and later on see if something happens..

You may be right, but since she decided to leave at the time I was kind of hitting it off with her just chatting and all that (this was the only socialization with a girl that i was doing mind you) was what got me in a real bad agressive depressive mood..cause I had no female to talk to after that..

thanks for the reply

 

[Regumika]

it definitely was a difficult situation to see the possible bigger picture, with the female friend.

well, i think romantic surprises for the girl might be a bit too fast? how about doing homework together? while getting something to drink/eat, like a yogurt shop or something. see what her response is, it will usually tell you if she is attracted to you or not.

 

[flaneur]

..I also didn't know if she knew it was me that wanted to add her or if she just didn't..

This part I don't get. I know she doesn't have your name, but do you not have a picture up?

It seems like you're resting your perspective on life on this. That means if things don't work out you're going to plunge into an even deeper depression; if things do work out - if you guys end up dating - those personal issues will show themselves and hurt the relationship. I think you might as well try the rose idea (while being careful not to gamble your entire happiness on the outcome), but also prioritize self-improvement.

 

[man of one]

..I also didn't know if she knew it was me that wanted to add her or if she just didn't..

This part I don't get. I know she doesn't have your name, but do you not have a picture up?

It seems like you're resting your perspective on life on this. That means if things don't work out you're going to plunge into an even deeper depression; if things do work out - if you guys end up dating - those personal issues will show themselves and hurt the relationship. I think you might as well try the rose idea (while being careful not to gamble your entire happiness on the outcome), but also prioritize self-improvement.

No I dont have a picture of myself, i'm real private and a bit paranoid so i usually have pictures of other stuff..I agree I am not an easy person to handle and as you said if things work out for how long will they be up and running? the only way to see if something grows in a relationship with her is if i change, cause atm no girl will be able to put up with me i think...If it's rejection yes it will depress me cause it has happened to me for quite a bit, but even with rejection as an outcome I want to come out of the way i usually am and aim higher and see if stuff like this actually makes me grow..

it definitely was a difficult situation to see the possible bigger picture, with the female friend.

well, i think romantic surprises for the girl might be a bit too fast? how about doing homework together? while getting something to drink/eat, like a yogurt shop or something. see what her response is, it will usually tell you if she is attracted to you or not.

Don't have classes together atm, we just see each other in hallways and stuff, so I have no reason to approach her..no material..yeah the rose may be a little too forward, but I don't know i was kinda hoping it would speak for me, cause im not too good at that lol..but it may creep her out being that she doesn't even know me well at all..


Put this scenario she is sitting in the hallway alone (this has happened) and as badly as i wanted to go over I couldn't cause i didn't know what to say...what can i do if this happens again?