Questions for the Women
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bleed_the_freak
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cheaters are worthless
walk away
kick the dust off your shoes
never look back
walk away
kick the dust off your shoes
never look back
MisterLonely
Well-known member
I was dating someone up until 2 weeks ago, on a monday evening I broke down and told her a lot about my life, and about what I had een dealing with for the last 4 weeks we were dating, that it was all too much for me, I've been alone pretty much my entire life and I was missing the stability at this point, I wanted to be alone again, and I told her I wasn't going to be in a relationship with her.
She wasn't willing to have me out of her life just yet, so the past 2 weeks we did meet up a few times, I enjoy the time we spend together and sex of course, but after a day or sometimes even less I want to be alone, nobody to think about, not even message on whatsapp... I'm afraid she is hoping that I'll grow into a relationship, that we at some point just suddenly realise we are "together", but I'm hoping the opposite.
Is it selfish what I'm doing? I was the one that broke it off, she was the one that wanted to keep seeing me knowing I wasn't going to get into a relationship with her.
She wasn't willing to have me out of her life just yet, so the past 2 weeks we did meet up a few times, I enjoy the time we spend together and sex of course, but after a day or sometimes even less I want to be alone, nobody to think about, not even message on whatsapp... I'm afraid she is hoping that I'll grow into a relationship, that we at some point just suddenly realise we are "together", but I'm hoping the opposite.
Is it selfish what I'm doing? I was the one that broke it off, she was the one that wanted to keep seeing me knowing I wasn't going to get into a relationship with her.
D
DarkSelene
Guest
I wouldn't say selfish, but not further clarifying your position might hurt her in the near future and if you care about doing the "right thing" at all, that should be your positioning.
Hope is a ***** to shut up and possibly dangerous to let fester, especially if you like drama-free living.
Hope is a ***** to shut up and possibly dangerous to let fester, especially if you like drama-free living.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
MisterLonely said:
Even if she knows your stand on not wanting to get into a relationship, I think it's still good to have a chat with her again so that she doesn't harbour false hopes in any way since you are afraid that is happening here. Nothing wrong with clarifying certain things to avoid unnecessary hurt and ensuring that things are clear on both sides.
DarkSelene said:
+1
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
MisterLonely said:
It is not selfish to not want to date her. Although, it sounds like you are possibly misleading her. If you don't want to date her, I would say stop having sex, because that's just going to encourage her to keep you on a "leash" so to speak. Be clear, be specific and don't do anything that may indicate you two are still in a relationship.
bleed_the_freak
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MisterLonely said:
It sounds like maybe you just aren't that into her. I'm sure if she was compatible in every way, you wouldn't desire to run her off.
Red_Wedding_Casualty
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I've got an abstract question to ask: What does weakness look like?
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Red_Wedding_Casualty said:
To me, not doing what needs to be done because of simple excuses. Or at least trying.
TheLoadedDog
Well-known member
Definitely no more bedroom fun if you want to be out of there.
What was that 1990s song? "Max, don't have sex with your ex. It will make your life complex."
And hers. Especially hers. Time to put a stop to it, bro. Trust me. Good luck.
What was that 1990s song? "Max, don't have sex with your ex. It will make your life complex."
And hers. Especially hers. Time to put a stop to it, bro. Trust me. Good luck.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Red_Wedding_Casualty said:
Depends on what context. In general, I'd say weakness is like giving in to temptation.
zero
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not sure if you mean your own weakness and how you perceive it (self-perception) or the weakness of another and the others` perception of it.
in the first case: feeling helpless and unable to cope with reality and everything that it implies internally and externally, e.g. actions, thoughts, emotional balance
in the second case: someone running from responsibility, self-centered, with a negative mindset, always expecting others to act in their place and support them because "they are entitled to it", always blaming others, never admitting their own mistakes, flaws and weakness, unable to forgive (the list can go on)...and what nilla and lady said.
in both cases choosing "flight" (and hide) from the "fight or flight" attitude.
I think we all have weaknesses, but some let them rule their life while others try to deal with them in a constructive way.
in the first case: feeling helpless and unable to cope with reality and everything that it implies internally and externally, e.g. actions, thoughts, emotional balance
in the second case: someone running from responsibility, self-centered, with a negative mindset, always expecting others to act in their place and support them because "they are entitled to it", always blaming others, never admitting their own mistakes, flaws and weakness, unable to forgive (the list can go on)...and what nilla and lady said.
in both cases choosing "flight" (and hide) from the "fight or flight" attitude.
I think we all have weaknesses, but some let them rule their life while others try to deal with them in a constructive way.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Azariah said:
That's a little too personal for anyone but the person to answer.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Azariah said:Well, I'm gonna get a response. Whether she likes it or not
Don't know if you're serious about that, but trying to force a response out of someone isn't going the right way. If someone doesn't want to respond to you, it's probably best you leave them alone.
Silent treatment is one of the worst treatment. I actually considered the idea of suicide, trying to get her jealous, threatening others like cops so they can shoot me.
And it's just another sacrifice. Like when Cain sacrificed his brother, I could sacrifice my life.
And it's just another sacrifice. Like when Cain sacrificed his brother, I could sacrifice my life.
Azariah said:
If we're talking biblical. Cain didn't sacrifice his brother he Murdered his brother... kind of what he's famous for.
About your thing. I don't know your specific situation, but if you're talking suicide by cop... you need to calm the hell down.
Whatever reason she has for not talking to you right now is not going to go away by you pushing her. Maybe give her some space so she can get over it. You need to focus on something else, seriously, try to get your mind off this situation for a while. It's not doing you any good to have your feelings snowball over something you can't control anyway.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Azariah said:
Don't know about her, but I'd run the other way if a guy attempted any of that. It's not heroic. It's not brave. It's not honorable. It's unnecessary drama. I suggest you calm down bringing this stuff to this forum. Sitting back to realize how you sound would be a good idea, too.
Chills guys she's probably lurking on this forum reading all this anyways, yeah I'm paranoid like that.
But yeah, I know you guys are scared, I mean concerned about me, but honestly I've been through a whole lot of shizz so I'm sure I'd get through this... alive.
But fuzzucks, I actually considered asking my co worker out, though I realize that's a bad idea too. And VanillaCreme is pretty pissed so I got a feeling that the girl I like is VanillaCreme and that I got a response after all.... or not. Nyehehehehehe.
But yeah, I know you guys are scared, I mean concerned about me, but honestly I've been through a whole lot of shizz so I'm sure I'd get through this... alive.
But fuzzucks, I actually considered asking my co worker out, though I realize that's a bad idea too. And VanillaCreme is pretty pissed so I got a feeling that the girl I like is VanillaCreme and that I got a response after all.... or not. Nyehehehehehe.
