Questions for the Women

[ladyforsaken]

Can a guy overcome a bad first impression?

no sugar-coating necessary.

I think it would be difficult for me to change my negative first impression of a guy. Not sure if this is what other women mostly feel also.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What would be a negative first impression?

 

[ladyforsaken]

What would be a negative first impression?

Could be anything negative... from being rude to others to being unhygienic.

 

[ardour]

Can a guy overcome a bad first impression?

no sugar-coating necessary.

I think it would be difficult for me to change my negative first impression of a guy. Not sure if this is what other women mostly feel also.

Thanks for your honesty.

I often make a really poor first impressions, due to a lack of confidence and permanent frown. It's something I really need to work on.

 

[Case]

What is your reaction to a man who admits to crying during movies? Or, do you feel that crying makes a man less desirable, less masculine, or less anything?

(Background: My past is filled with memories of my Dad yelling at me if ever I cried as a child. To this former Marine, crying was a trait to be beaten out of a man until it never returns. I only saw my Dad cry once, when my Mom died. Anyway, I remember crying at the end of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and feeling shame as a kid. To cover up my shame, I defiantly said to people, "If you didn't cry at the end of that movie, you aren't human." lol - But I still suppressed tears until adulthood when I learned how to properly emote. Now, I'm like a candy with a hard, outer shell, but with a gooey center that's simply delicious. lol)

 

[ladyforsaken]

What is your reaction to a man who admits to crying during movies? Or, do you feel that crying makes a man less desirable, less masculine, or less anything?

I'm cool with a man crying during movies. I think it just means he's very sensitive. Not less desirable to me, not less masculine or anything at all. Just means he has feelings and he shows them.

 

[Rosebolt]

How do galls generally look at guys who make it clear there is plenty of stuff they simply dont want to talk about?

 

[lonelyfairy]

How do galls generally look at guys who make it clear there is plenty of stuff they simply dont want to talk about?

I think it depends on the girl and what should talk about. I like to talk with a guy in the relationship, I think it's important. I don't know did I answer correctly..

 

[Jéssica Soares]

How do galls generally look at guys who make it clear there is plenty of stuff they simply dont want to talk about?

it depends on the things you don't want to talk about xD

 

[Rosebolt]

How do galls generally look at guys who make it clear there is plenty of stuff they simply dont want to talk about?

I think it depends on the girl and what should talk about. I like to talk with a guy in the relationship, I think it's important. I don't know did I answer correctly..

Let's say i'm talking to a girl, i talked to her a couple of times but we're far from friends. But she's nice and all. She asks about, hmm, let's say my past. I rather not talk about that, as i don't trust her with that, so i tell her that. Well, only that i don't want to talk about it, not the trusting part.

Those kind of situations.

 

[Jéssica Soares]

if were me, I would understand your reasons and just respect that. She don't have to feel offended with something like that and if she do, she's just stupid.

(Sorry xD)

 

[Rosebolt]

Don't say sorry, it sounds like the normal response to me.

 

[Jéssica Soares]

you know.. maybe she have more confidence in you that you have in her. If you know what I mean x)
If so, maybe she thinks she has the right to know things about you... thinks apperently you don't want to share yet. Well, we girls are much more different from each other that you can imagine.
For example, you wouldn't need to explain me this kind of things twice, but with some girls you may have to be a bit more... careful. You know, even unmeant, you can hurt her feelings.

 

[murmi97]

you know.. maybe she have more confidence in you that you have in her. If you know what I mean x)

That's exactly what I was thinking - if she's opened up to you, you should either reciprocate or tell her you're not ready to for both of you to share so much.

 

[ladyforsaken]

How do galls generally look at guys who make it clear there is plenty of stuff they simply dont want to talk about?

Generally? Well depends how mature she is to take that sort of response.

Some might get offended by the guy and take it the wrong way. But if you make it clear, they might try to understand. These girls will think the guy is just being negative in some way.

Some might take a step back and respect your decision and move on. They would understand. They'll think the guy would have his reasons and would be ready to share when he is.. and that trust is there to be earned, so they will stick around to earn it - if they care enough.

Some might take it as a hint as though they are prying too much and then they will then take their leave and probably stay away. These will think the guy is unfriendly or hostile.

Some might start feeling insecure and wonder what she's done to the guy to deserve that sort of response... and sometimes might think the guy is being unreasonable (when she is the one being unreasonable really but that's probably caused by her own insecurities).

 

[EveWasFramed]

Now, I'm like a candy with a hard, outer shell, but with a gooey center that's simply delicious. lol)

Hard candy with a gooey center....

Makes a person appreciate the gooey center a bit more when it took a little time and effort to reach it, lol.

---

Can a guy overcome a bad first impression?

no sugar-coating necessary.

Depends on the person's attitude towards that kind of thing.
For example...there have been plenty of people on this forum that simply rubbed me the wrong way from day-one (first impressions, based on first posts). However, I seldom base my opinion of someone on one first encounter - I'm usually willing to look deeper than that. Sometimes people just need to get to know someone a little better to see that the first impression wasn't an accurate picture of who they are. There are quite a few people (here and in real life) that I had a terrible first impression of, but who I am now fairly close to and talk to pretty often. I guess sometimes people WANT to get a second, or third "impression" of someone before making a decision.
Unfortunately, I think I'm likely the exception - not the rule.

 

[painter's radio]

I've actually had quite a few people tell me over the years "I used to think you were a complete dick, but actually, you're not so bad". Lol. Both male and female.

 

[Jéssica Soares]

I guess that is a good thing xD

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

If someone genuinely didn't know what he wanted in a relationship, would you try to help him figure it out? Or would you walk away?

Like, say, the guy is inexperienced and doesn't know what he wants, but you love him on some level.

 

[ardour]

Unfortunately, I think I'm likely the exception - not the rule.

Yeah, I think you're probably an exception too. Most aren't willing to re-assess someone. The first impression is it, an emotional imprint on the mind that won't change no matter what.