Questions for the Women

[Danicalele]

Have a look at Pandora jewelry, this brand is really fit for fashion women to attract others.

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Have a look at Pandora jewelry, this brand is really fit for fashion women to attract others. FAIL SHOE SPAM THANKS


I MEAN JEWELRY OMG

 

[CrazieCute]

If you're going to rebound, then rebound with a slut.

One man's slut is another man's wife. If you want to just have sex and fun, then let the girl know that. Whichever girl you choose. Staying honest will keep your relationships simple.

 

[Waterbug2]

Wow. Just read through all 25 pages of this very interesting topic. Here's my take:

1. I love a man that is so polite on a first date. Opens doors, pulls out the chair, asks what I would like then orders for me. I don't find it controlling, just thoughtful and makes me feel like he cares.
2. I don't like a man (or woman either) that takes calls or texts while with me. That is just so rude.

Now...as to attractiveness...Yes, I am registered at one of the online dating sites. My profile has been viewed over 5000 times which for someone in their 50's is ok. So, I get winks, which I delete and in my profile it SAYS I will delete. A complete waste of time. When I get an email, it usually starts off as "wow" so I must not be completely ugly. But, here's the interesting part. 5000 looks. 13 emails. So if personality is so important why don't they want to get to know me. I am fun, enthusiastic, loving, loyal, honest and I give way more than I get (my ex agrees with this). Now, I hid my profile. What a waste of time. I would rather be alone than have 4987 rejections. Here's the question that goes along with my story:

Would you rather be alone than put yourself in a public forum and take the risk of ongoing rejection?

 

[Badjedidude]

If you want to just have sex and fun, then let the girl know that.

I'm enough of a gentleman to avoid causing unnecessary havoc when "playing" around.

Thanks for the advice. [img=22x22]http://i44.tinypic.com/14a90de.jpg[/img]

 

[deirdre]

ongoing rejection? on a dating site? like, is that a reality to you? that website has become some litmus test for legitimacy? Come on!!! As a mature woman, you MUST have noticed the completely shallow nature of 98% of the profiles...gag me with a spoon, if I have to read one more banal profile that says " I love long walks on the beach, cuddling, holding hands and kissing" I am going to retch...... That dating site has nothing real about it, mostly it is a cheap way for guys to get a quickie if they are lucky, 90% of the men on those sites aren't looking for anything but some desperate women who will fall for any inane line they throw out. Do not judge yourself by the standards of a bunch of men who totally lying through their teeth on that website!!!!!!!!!! You want to meet some interesting people I suggest meetup.com.... usually there are hundreds of groups in any metro area that have real people hooking up with common interests, and I bet you will be getting a totally different response to you IN REAL LIFE than you do in the cyber world.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

Wow. Just read through all 25 pages of this very interesting topic. Here's my take:

1. I love a man that is so polite on a first date. Opens doors, pulls out the chair, asks what I would like then orders for me. I don't find it controlling, just thoughtful and makes me feel like he cares.
2. I don't like a man (or woman either) that takes calls or texts while with me. That is just so rude.

Now...as to attractiveness...Yes, I am registered at one of the online dating sites. My profile has been viewed over 5000 times which for someone in their 50's is ok. So, I get winks, which I delete and in my profile it SAYS I will delete. A complete waste of time. When I get an email, it usually starts off as "wow" so I must not be completely ugly. But, here's the interesting part. 5000 looks. 13 emails. So if personality is so important why don't they want to get to know me. I am fun, enthusiastic, loving, loyal, honest and I give way more than I get (my ex agrees with this). Now, I hid my profile. What a waste of time. I would rather be alone than have 4987 rejections. Here's the question that goes along with my story:

Would you rather be alone than put yourself in a public forum and take the risk of ongoing rejection?

You need to actually pursue some of these girls that are messaging you and stuff and some of the ones who aren't as well. I've used dating sites. Girls learn quickly on them not to message guys who don't message them first because those guys don't care. And if a guy doesn't put effort to keep the conversation, then that's how we learn they are not interested as well. Just talk to the girls, get to know them, ask their numbers.

I've used dating sites and I'm very ugly, but I still met and went on a bunch of dates with guys off of it.

 

[bens]

Er, so I'm seeing someone who's got a track record of ******* other people over, we get on really well sometimes and the sex was brilliant at first (probably more for me, but it was still decent for her I think). But now it's all starting to go wrong and I think the failure is partly down to me being a junior partner and always doing or saying the wrong thing.
I think that most of her relationships have gone wrong cos basically she's a man eater in the sense that she's very attractive, good at all sorts of stuff, intelligent, exciting, etc and just ends up cheating on or leaving the people she's with cos they become pathetic in their behaviour and don't satisfy her.
I think the only person it's worked for her with is the fiancee she walked out on at the alter - and that she ultimately wants him back, her reason for being with me or anyone else compared to him is basically he's dull. But they had plans to open a flower shop, had amazing arguments, etc. etc.
We nearly split up the other night when I basically said this to her, she was upset but at the same time when she mentions him there's blatantly still feelings there.

I'm acting in a really weird manner towards her cos it's like I'm massivley attracted to her but determined to keep up my guard and not get too involved cos there's zero chance this will go right. She keeps basically counselling me to relax and be myself but that seems to involve different things at different times. In a ideal world I think I'd rather be a friend with sex attached every so often.

I've an interview on thursday if I want it - to go and teach in China. I can take the confidence I feel at the moment and leave or I can hang around and wait to get hurt, I'd be fine with waiting if it were fun but at the moment it's mainly just awkward.

Sos for the long post anyway -wanted to get everything off my chest, would love some criticism really. Feel free to be harsh. I'm already sure I'm actinglike a dick I just dunno if it's a good idea to change really.

 

[Naleena]

Your not acting like a dick and there is no need for anyone to be harsh with you. Your guarded. It's ok. And if she actually cheated on various people, how can you ignore that? Does she think you have Bo Bo the fool written across your forehead? I don't think so. It's different to say to someone you don't want them, but to cheat on them is a whole other animal. It's underhanded and cruel. And to keep talking about a "dull" ex while she is with you? You need a freakin gold metal for that one....lol Does you eyes glaze over as you listen to it again and again? How do you stand it? Thats just tacky and distasteful. Sooooooooooo highschool. I'm sorry, did you say she was intelligent? ROFLMAO!! It sounds like your not the only one with problems. I'd tell her if he is what she wants, the go and don't let the door hit her in the ass when she left. No one is holding a gun to her head to stay with you. If he's all that, she should go back to him.
Look, if she really cares she will stick around and be patient. It's not all about her. It's about you too. If your willing to risk your feelings, YOUR HEART, for a woman with a bad track record (and who doesn't have enough common sense or respect to stop talking about her ex infront of a man that has feelings for her), then she needs to be willing to let you move into being comfortable at your own pace. I'd say that might moves things on a little smoother for the both of you. Give and take, baby. Give and take.

While you may have asked for opinions in your post, after reading it, I think you already know the answer. Listen to your intuition would be my advice. I personally think meaningful relationships take time. She should earn your trust; you shouldn't have to hand it over on a platter. Looks, intelligence, money, talent...doesn't mean a **** thing without a good heart to go along with it. But thats just my opinion. Don't worry about what she needs, Bens. Worry about what you need. What do YOU need right now? What would you need to feel comfortable in that relationship? Can she provide that for you?

 

[bens]

Cheers for the response that's absolutley brilliant.
I should've said before but we've talked about my ex (one of her best mates) at least as much as her ex-fiancee. One of the people she hurt in the past was one of my best mates (I've told him about it). So neither of us is exactly blameless. Especially as I stayed with my ex beyond when I cared for her.

I don't think she can make me feel comfortable full stop.
I think it's difficult because I'd like to stay in the moment and have throw away sex/ company for a bit and so would she but I can see/feel myself getting attached quick and getting hurt. I'm loathe to stop though cos I've been in long term things before and not felt like this for years.
Er, so, that's why I'm a bit of a dick anyway.

 

[Ladysphinx]

Bens I think that the only reason your staying is because your scared to leave. Personely I would'nt waste my time on someone just so they can break you heart. This relastionship ending is not a matter of if but a matter of when. The longer you wait the more it will hurt. ppl may think I'm heartless but if a relationship is indanger before marrage how will it suvive marriage it's self, that is if you ever want to get married that is.

 

[bens]

Cool. I like your sig too.

 

[INTJ]

Thread's too long to read every page, so I'm just gonna jump in on the 'bad boy' thing. Keep in mind that this is coming from an older woman with an almost infallible bullshit detector.

Women who go for bad boys have low self-esteem. It's not that they reject nice guys, it's that they're drawn to those who will treat them poorly. Some may delude themselves into thinking they can 'fix' the bad boy, but what they're really trying to do is avoid working on their own issues.

If they go for one bad boy and then turn to the good guys, it's because they've learned that they deserve to be treated better. If they go for another bad boy, and another, and another, it's a manifestation of patterned behavior. They're either too stupid, lazy, or backward to stop the cycle of abuse, or they're suffering from arrested emotional development. Those are the ones who might agree to go out with a nice guy, but will treat him bad because it's the only way she can make herself feel better about herself.

Guys... you don't want the woman who repeatedly goes for bad boys. You don't. They're bad news. Sure, they're probably pretty because bad boys won't date average looking women. But, even though they look good, they're rotten inside. They can't love you because they don't love themselves.

Nice guys (not doormats, but genuinely nice men) are the ones who eventually marry decent women and have relatively happy lives. Why? Because, when you finally stop beating your heads against the brick wall (going for the ones who can't love you), you look up and there she is -- the good one who already loves herself and is ready, willing and able to love you.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Well said, INTJ. Some awesome stuff in that there post.

 

[Naleena]

Keep in mind that this is coming from an older woman with an almost infallible bullshit detector.

ROFLMAO!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! I have one of those too

 

[ShybutHi]

Good post INTJ.

 

[WishingWell]

My husband and I split up almost 7 years ago...I didn't want it, but he left because of alcohol and his musician friends. Two years ago he died.

I still love him and think he was the best man in my life for the 13 years prior to these incidents.

I have dated about 20 men in the last 7 years, but seem to have no attraction physically to them, nor click with their personalities.

Do you think I am comparing them to my husband or I am just not meeting the right men?

 

[Poueff]

I know this might seem weird,but I have almost everything covered,everything but this.

I'm kind of afraid to ask this question cause I think you'll probably despise me for asking this,but I guess I'll have to answer my doubts with someone...

In general,most girls I know mostly are together in groups of 5 or less,them being best-ies or something close to it,but that's the one ocasion where I never know how to react,so...

Let's say you are with your best friends dancing in a night club/disco/rave/mosh pit/anything with a ******* dancefloor and an actractive guy starts dancing close to you,seemingly trying to dance with one of you,how would you react? I know it depends on some factors but even so

 

[WishingWell]

I am 53, but am not too old to remember being in clubs dancing with my friends. When an attractive guy came up to us and starting dancing with us, I thought it was great. Sometimes he would end up dancing with just one of my friends or just me.
I don't think your question is weird, and I am being straight with you with my answer!

 

[Poueff]

I am 53, but am not too old to remember being in clubs dancing with my friends. When an attractive guy came up to us and starting dancing with us, I thought it was great. Sometimes he would end up dancing with just one of my friends or just me.
I don't think your question is weird, and I am being straight with you with my answer!

Oh,thanks a lot,cause I know that in general,the people's thoughts don't go that far from each other,but us guys generally never dance with each other like that so I didn't know what to think xD So there goes the doubt =D

 

[WishingWell]

Good luck to you...I don't think you will have any problem meeting someone!