Questions for the Women

[WishingWell]

Delaware Adams...welcome! Glad you have taken the step to make your first post.

I am a 53 year old woman and was married when in my 40's, but I still want to tell you what I believe.

Times have definitely changed since years ago when I dated...now sex is not sacred anymore, and money seems to be everything, but not everyone feels that way--it would be a generalization.

However, I truly believe that there are women out there that are not high maintenance and gold diggers. I, for one, even though I am older than you, have dated men that were janitors, teachers, etc. I have only dated one man that was in a professional field and I felt that he loved himself and his money too much. I, also, when dating paid 1/2 on dates sometimes and treated the man to dinner or whatever sometimes too. I have an income, and why shouldn't I pay once in a while?

Unfortunately, it seems you aren't finding the "right" women. The ones who like you and will love you for all the great qualities you mentioned about yourself. I do believe those type of women are out there.

 

[delawareadams]

Delaware Adams...welcome! Glad you have taken the step to make your first post.

I am a 53 year old woman and was married when in my 40's, but I still want to tell you what I believe.

Times have definitely changed since years ago when I dated...now sex is not sacred anymore, and money seems to be everything, but not everyone feels that way--it would be a generalization.

However, I truly believe that there are women out there that are not high maintenance and gold diggers. I, for one, even though I am older than you, have dated men that were janitors, teachers, etc. I have only dated one man that was in a professional field and I felt that he loved himself and his money too much. I, also, when dating paid 1/2 on dates sometimes and treated the man to dinner or whatever sometimes too. I have an income, and why shouldn't I pay once in a while?

Unfortunately, it seems you aren't finding the "right" women. The ones who like you and will love you for all the great qualities you mentioned about yourself. I do believe those type of women are out there.

Thank you for the help Wishingwell. It has been pretty discouraging and without going into great detail I have been very inhibited in going out and taking the plunge into the "lake of dating". I work in a pharmacy that has a large elderly clientelle and have been around older people (my grandparents) a lot and I can see at this age now how much society has changed with its expression and technology. I can really understand how scarry it can be. I'm no technophobe but I am old fashioned and prefer to live as, well, simply, as I can. I don't use "modern" stuff unless I really need to. I guess I really know I have to acitvely seek out women who are doing the same. It is scarry though. Again thank you very much.

 

[Joseph]

Thank you for the help Wishingwell. It has been pretty discouraging and without going into great detail I have been very inhibited in going out and taking the plunge into the "lake of dating". I work in a pharmacy that has a large elderly clientelle and have been around older people (my grandparents) a lot and I can see at this age now how much society has changed with its expression and technology. I can really understand how scarry it can be. I'm no technophobe but I am old fashioned and prefer to live as, well, simply, as I can. I don't use "modern" stuff unless I really need to. I guess I really know I have to acitvely seek out women who are doing the same. It is scarry though. Again thank you very much.

Dude (hope I can call you dude, it really is a term of endearment), I feel your pain. Trust me, you aren't crazy. I am a few years younger than you and most of the women my age were raised and weened on Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and the like. These women are so plastic that even being in their presence makes me physically ill. Sorry I don't want my life to resemble some ******* reality TV show off of MTV.

 

[Stepchild]

this is kind of awkward but what the hell. Can a man and a woman simply be friends for its own sake without going through the complications of a sex based relationship?

Well, I suppose it's way too presumptuous to say that a straight man and a straight woman could never be just friends without any sort of sexual tension between them. I'm pretty sure such relationships exist somewhere out there.

I have four male friends at the moment, and with two of them I have a sexual history. The other two are not single. With one of them I probably would have already slept with if he didn't have a girlfriend. It's just that when you really get to know someone and you like them, if they're your preferred gender, it's probably pretty natural to develop sexual feelings toward them. That doesn't always happen, but I think a lot of the time it does.

 

[fortasse]

this is kind of awkward but what the hell. Can a man and a woman simply be friends for its own sake without going through the complications of a sex based relationship?

any of you have close male friends that you can say you 'love' but would never sleep with?

I am not attracted to any of my male friends. Well, I was attracted to one, but I outgrew it. And yes, I would say I love all of my close male friends. There was also one friend that I talked to a lot after he broke up with a long-term girlfriend. I suppose for some that could have turned into some sort of rebound relationship for us, but the thought didn't really occur to me. He was just a friend that needed someone to talk to during a hard time in his life.

---

I guess my question is; am I being cynical or inaccurate in thinking I don't have much chance for finding love because I don't make much money? ... Have the times changed to a point where a good, caring, inteligent, funny guy can't find someone because of his income?

It really depends on the type of women you are dating. To some, money is very important. To some it is marginally important. To some it is not important at all.

Since my ultimate goal in a relationship is marriage, I would want a man that could support a family in case I was to become a stay-at-home-mom. I don't want a man that is broke, but neither do I need a man that makes 6 figures a year. That's excessive. I imagine it would be nice, but not necessary.

 

[jales]

that's nice that you want to be a stay at home mom.. I'm the same way.

 

[Estrios_Vega]

that's nice that you want to be a stay at home mom.. I'm the same way.

I want to be a stay at home Dad. Or at least the most awesome Dad ever.

 

[jales]

then you cant marry a girl like fortasse or me, unless you figure out a way to make money without leaving home

or if we figure it out.

this is kind of awkward but what the hell. Can a man and a woman simply be friends for its own sake without going through the complications of a sex based relationship?

any of you have close male friends that you can say you 'love' but would never sleep with?

I am not attracted to any of my male friends. Well, I was attracted to one, but I outgrew it. And yes, I would say I love all of my close male friends. There was also one friend that I talked to a lot after he broke up with a long-term girlfriend. I suppose for some that could have turned into some sort of rebound relationship for us, but the thought didn't really occur to me. He was just a friend that needed someone to talk to during a hard time in his life.

---

I guess my question is; am I being cynical or inaccurate in thinking I don't have much chance for finding love because I don't make much money? ... Have the times changed to a point where a good, caring, inteligent, funny guy can't find someone because of his income?

It really depends on the type of women you are dating. To some, money is very important. To some it is marginally important. To some it is not important at all.

Since my ultimate goal in a relationship is marriage, I would want a man that could support a family in case I was to become a stay-at-home-mom. I don't want a man that is broke, but neither do I need a man that makes 6 figures a year. That's excessive. I imagine it would be nice, but not necessary.

---

that's nice that you want to be a stay at home mom.. I'm the same way.

I want to be a stay at home Dad. Or at least the most awesome Dad ever.

 

[Estrios_Vega]

Hey, I also said the most AWESOME Dad ever too. But I still reserve the right to MASSIVE amounts of play time with the kids....and no chores LOL. (jk I love chores - I'm such a homebody)

 

[jales]

well awesome dads are always accepted.

Hey, I also said the most AWESOME Dad ever too. But I still reserve the right to MASSIVE amounts of play time with the kids....and no chores LOL. (jk I love chores - I'm such a homebody)

 

[VanillaCreme]

Have the times changed to a point where a good, caring, inteligent, funny guy can't find someone because of his income?

Depends on the person. Personally, I don't care if a man has riches, as long as he loves me and cares about me, it doesn't matter. If he's broke, we can be broke together.

 

[fortasse]

that's nice that you want to be a stay at home mom.. I'm the same way.

Well, I want to be an attorney, but I also want to be a stay at home mom... we'll see which one I end up being. I'd be happy with either.

 

[jales]

I wanted to be an attorney as well. But I got distracted by sciences. are you studying law.


Also to answer delwareadams' question.... I do not think most women care about money at all. Even women who say they care about money very often do not care.

A guy being rich is a plus to most women I will admit that, but give any woman who I know sweet guy with good personality traits and he will ALWAYS win... even over a Bill-gates income guy who just doesnt have the personality.

As materialistic as society may get... we are still human, and humans still judge based on personality.

that's nice that you want to be a stay at home mom.. I'm the same way.

Well, I want to be an attorney, but I also want to be a stay at home mom... we'll see which one I end up being. I'd be happy with either.

 

[ThePsychologist]

Allright, this is perhaps a weird question, but I am going to ask it anyway.

2 years ago, my GF lost a friend of her, she got run over by a train and died (it was an accident). (I did not know her)

My GF has nightmares about her sometimes and sometimes cries when thinking about it.

The place where she died, only 1 candle is standing there now at this moment, filled with water (so it can't be lid). Together we walk past this spot whenever we go out and do something and we sometimes stare at the spot.

Now I was thinking of buying a candle and matches and place a new candle next to the old one and light it on. As some sort of gesture of support.

Is this weird? It just came to me the other day, and I thought it would be nice, but I dunno, it seems weird too. What do you guys think?

 

[jales]

i think it is sweet, not weird.

Allright, this is perhaps a weird question, but I am going to ask it anyway.

2 years ago, my GF lost a friend of her, she got run over by a train and died (it was an accident). (I did not know her)

My GF has nightmares about her sometimes and sometimes cries when thinking about it.

The place where she died, only 1 candle is standing there now at this moment, filled with water (so it can't be lid). Together we walk past this spot whenever we go out and do something and we sometimes stare at the spot.

Now I was thinking of buying a candle and matches and place a new candle next to the old one and light it on. As some sort of gesture of support.

Is this weird? It just came to me the other day, and I thought it would be nice, but I dunno, it seems weird too. What do you guys think?

 

[Estrios_Vega]

Ok. I have a question. How do you even know if a girl likes you? lol. I know its a deceptively complex inquiry. But what if she shows interest and moves on or seemingly does so? I dunno. I guess I am confused as my jumbled mess of a question is. lol.

 

[Kenny]

HAHA, MY BAD, DIDN'T REALIZE THIS WAS THE QUESTIONS FOR THE WOMEN THREAD. I'LL BUTT OUT! :d

 

[jales]

Answer: does not matter.

Do you like her? If you like her go after her, and assume that she likes you till she gives you strong, clear, definitive signals that she doesnt like you.

Girls usually like when guys show interest... even if they do not like the guy in that way

 

[Argh]

My picture is terrible but would you have sex with me ladies?

 

[Badjedidude]

My picture is terrible but would you have sex with me ladies?

NOPE.

Oh, wait. I'm not a lady.

But if I were it would still be no because that's an asinine question.