Questions for the Women

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rdor said:
Most aren't willing to re-assess someone. The first impression is it, an emotional imprint on the mind that won't change no matter what.

I guess if that person does a lot for a long time to prove that he or she is otherwise, then maybe the view on this person might change.. but that first impression may always stay. I think it's the most impactful, thus why it stays stuck... for me at least.
 
ladyforsaken said:
.. but that first impression may always stay. I think it's the most impactful, thus why it stays stuck... for me at least.

That's really depressing..
 
rdor said:
ladyforsaken said:
.. but that first impression may always stay. I think it's the most impactful, thus why it stays stuck... for me at least.

That's really depressing..

I know right... wish I could have better control of this myself. I mean I don't make good first impressions myself..
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
If someone genuinely didn't know what he wanted in a relationship, would you try to help him figure it out? Or would you walk away?

Like, say, the guy is inexperienced and doesn't know what he wants, but you love him on some level.

I don't think I'm anything near typical, but I would like any relationship to be clearly defined and thus need someone/people who know, whether it's consummate unconditional love or just casual sex (which are really the only ones I'm interested in, see I told you, not typical).
Though I'm not experienced either. I realize I might fall heart first into the mire whether I choose to or not.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
If someone genuinely didn't know what he wanted in a relationship, would you try to help him figure it out? Or would you walk away?

Like, say, the guy is inexperienced and doesn't know what he wants, but you love him on some level.

No doubt I would help him to figure it out :)
I mean, if his doubts were genuine and if I really loved him.
 
I was wondering, do any of you girls think or wonder about what a very quiet and average guy that is at your workplace or lecture is really like? Or after a bit does he just sort of fade into the background. And yes if you were wondering I am asking for myself. Maybe the problem is that this is how I view myself? Unsure.

It's only recently that I've been becoming more interested in a relationship, and this is generally how I am in just about any public setting. Although Im trying to change it, I tend to have a habit of trying to become as invisible as I can. It was mostly that way because I just wanted to be left alone with my books, but now....I'm rambling. I'll stop here. Thanks!
 
I notice guys regardless of their volume. I'm too scared to approach them, but you may not be as invisible as you think.
 
Mentality said:
I was wondering, do any of you girls think or wonder about what a very quiet and average guy that is at your workplace or lecture is really like? Or after a bit does he just sort of fade into the background. And yes if you were wondering I am asking for myself. Maybe the problem is that this is how I view myself? Unsure.

It's only recently that I've been becoming more interested in a relationship, and this is generally how I am in just about any public setting. Although Im trying to change it, I tend to have a habit of trying to become as invisible as I can. It was mostly that way because I just wanted to be left alone with my books, but now....I'm rambling. I'll stop here. Thanks!

Sometimes I think they are married or don't want to be bothered. Quiet guys are scary because you don't know if they will want to talk to you. Its hard to know.
 
Naleena said:
Sometimes I think they are married or don't want to be bothered. Quiet guys are scary because you don't know if they will want to talk to you. Its hard to know.

It used to be that I really didn't want to be bothered, but that's not how I feel anymore, and I seem to be unable to change myself.
 
Mentality said:
Naleena said:
Sometimes I think they are married or don't want to be bothered. Quiet guys are scary because you don't know if they will want to talk to you. Its hard to know.

It used to be that I really didn't want to be bothered, but that's not how I feel anymore, and I seem to be unable to change myself.

Sometimes just saying, hey how are? Can be a good ice breaker. Smiling is reaaly important. You could also wear something unusual or cool to give a girl a chance to comment. If there is something to use to start a conversation, it isn't as scary to approach someone. But yeah, you might give off a leave me alone vibe.


Case said:
What is your reaction to a man who admits to crying during movies? Or, do you feel that crying makes a man less desirable, less masculine, or less anything?

(Background: My past is filled with memories of my Dad yelling at me if ever I cried as a child. To this former Marine, crying was a trait to be beaten out of a man until it never returns. I only saw my Dad cry once, when my Mom died. Anyway, I remember crying at the end of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and feeling shame as a kid. To cover up my shame, I defiantly said to people, "If you didn't cry at the end of that movie, you aren't human." lol - But I still suppressed tears until adulthood when I learned how to properly emote. Now, I'm like a candy with a hard, outer shell, but with a gooey center that's simply delicious. lol)

I think it takes incredible strength for a man to show he is sensitive. Personally, that's my kind of man. He would be a keeper for sure.
 
It usually depends on my mood. Most of the time I usually smile and just say hello back.
Saying hello never seems to hurt anything. =)
 
I honestly get creeped out by random men talking to me in public. Just yesterday an older man tried to strike up a conversation about what I had in my buggy. He kept asking me questions and wanting to get my food off the shelf for me.

Just a tip, never do that.
 
Shipster0958 said:
I honestly get creeped out by random men talking to me in public..

That's what I thought.
It's really annoying when people suggest this as a way for guys to meet women... sometimes women suggest this, what are they thinking? "Just get out there and talk to people." Yeah, right. You can't just approach strangers in public and try to start up a conversation. It's common sense.
 
I really try hard not to fall into the creep trap. Makes being basically kind a bit more difficult.
 
rdor said:
Shipster0958 said:
I honestly get creeped out by random men talking to me in public..

That's what I thought.
It's really annoying when people suggest this as a way for guys to meet women... sometimes women suggest this, what are they thinking? "Just get out there and talk to people." Yeah, right. You can't just approach strangers in public and try to start up a conversation. It's common sense.

Rdor, you do know that that was just Ship's thought... Not all of ours, right? You're welcome to think whatever you like as well, but not all of us think that. Don't feel justified about it just because one female gave her thoughts, and it mirrored yours. Personally, I don't mind. Doesn't happen often to me, but a few times, I've gotten random guys trying to talk to me. I'll be nice and have a nice little conversation. Some of us have not a single problem with it.
 
VanillaCreme said:
Rdor, you do know that that was just Ship's thought... Not all of ours, right? You're welcome to think whatever you like as well, but not all of us think that. Don't feel justified about it just because one female gave her thoughts, and it mirrored yours. Personally, I don't mind. Doesn't happen often to me, but a few times, I've gotten random guys trying to talk to me. I'll be nice and have a nice little conversation. Some of us have not a single problem with it.

True. As long as it's not to tell me to smile, or to ask for my time or contact info summarily, I wouldn't mind much either. I'd be anxious as hell, but that doesn't mean I'd be annoyed.
 
rdor said:
Shipster0958 said:
I honestly get creeped out by random men talking to me in public..

That's what I thought.
It's really annoying when people suggest this as a way for guys to meet women... sometimes women suggest this, what are they thinking? "Just get out there and talk to people." Yeah, right. You can't just approach strangers in public and try to start up a conversation. It's common sense.

you need a reason to talk to strangers. Ask for directions, or if you both have a dog, or both stood at a bus stop. 99% of the time nothing will come of it, it's just a few words.
 
murmi97 said:
True. As long as it's not to tell me to smile, or to ask for my time or contact info summarily, I wouldn't mind much either.

So, "gimme a smile, baby" would be a good icebreaker?
 
rdor said:
murmi97 said:
True. As long as it's not to tell me to smile, or to ask for my time or contact info summarily, I wouldn't mind much either.

So, "gimme a smile, baby" would be a good icebreaker?

That's probably even a horribly manipulative thing to say to an actual baby you've just met.
 

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