Reading in preference to conversation with other humans

[MTrip]

For those of us who are educated & of a curious frame of mind, yeah. We do read in public for a few reasons. One of them being, quite frankly, that ordinary people are boring as hell. They usually want to talk about stuff in their parochial little lives such as what they watched on TV last night, who they're having problems with at their job, etc. We are not interested in that. We are interested in whatever it is we're reading. In my case it's usually history or cultural criticism.

Incidentally, reading in public isn't the worst manners to have. One can always sit upwind from you & smoke a cigarette instead. That would piss me off more than someone else reading any day of the week.

 

[ardour]

But you did not specify the relationship or situation, or any other factors really. This whole topic is rather vague.
Is your beef with reading specifically, or are you applying this theory to any hobby or activity one might be engaging in at the time said "distressed friend" needs to talk?

People carry their books everywhere though.

I agree, one should learn to tolerate others and socialize when they don't feel like it. I've certainly had to. But that doesn't mean they must "prefer" it, or do it all the time, does it? As important as it is to make time for others, it is also important to make time for yourself, and to learn when to say no.
Daily life exhausts me, as does socializing. I need time to myself to regenerate, and I don't think there is anything rude about that. Reading is a perfectly legitimate way to spend that time, and I'm not really understanding why you would have a problem with that.

Being that the work we do here is clerical, nobody’s being overloaded with human interaction, the opposite in fact, so you would think people would be gagging to talk. Yet walk into the break room and there’s dead silence, people sitting at the same tables (?) heads down in books. Some because this is what they want and the others follow suite, not daring to break the silence and 'offend' (they are friends with each other, apparently).

They're the tentative, on-eggshells sort of friendships I couldn't be bothered with.

I agree recharge and time out is normal. It's the ongoing choice of making reading or other non-social activities central to life while others are relegated to the margins. That's depressing and short sighted imo... you might be thinking "I can always talk to him or her later", then the same thing next time. Well there might not be a later, you might find the person no longer considers you worth knowing. Be prepared to lie in that bed, that's all.

My aunty often rings around 10.00 pm to catch up... I’m watching the end of a movie or reading. Perhaps I should embarrass her- “this is my time to unwind, could you call over the weekend”? Ahem.. no way.

Sorry for the rant, it does come off as kind of bitter.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Sounds like you're an extrovert surrounded by introverts.

I can relate. It's painful being surrounded by extroverts when you're an introvert. All I want to do is sit here quietly and intellectualize the situation, read, and listen to music. I don't like making conversation, and don't find forced conversation all that interesting.

I don't think it has anything to do with you. It probably has everything to do with the way they are personally, which is that they are on a different wavelength than you. Don't stress, just try to find people outside of work who are on the same wavelength as you.

Try a meetup group.

 

[ardour]

Extrovert... far from it... that was a worse than usual post of mine. If someone is spending 80% of their time with a book instead of talking with friends around them, then it doesn't matter what kind of personality types are involved, they really aren't much of a friend. I know people who were very introverted and it wasn't that they didn't enjoy company, it took time for them to drop their guards and be comfortable.

Friendship by it's nature necessitates some interest level and effort. If solitude is your thing that's okay but it goes with accepting being alone.. others aren't just going to appear for you at the odd time you feel otherwise.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's not about friendship. It's about social norms.

 

[SomeoneSomewhere]

rdor, I'm sorry for sounding rude but your arguments make no sense to me at all.

I have a couple of friends at college and all of them are introverts. During my breaks, I prefer to sit alone and listen to music or play games on my phone, yes, even when my friends are around. They just find someone else to talk with or start listening to music or play games themselves. None of them ever said that they have a problem with it. When they want to talk, I take my headphones off and listen to them.

Am I being selfish? I really don't care. As long as I'm doing what I like, it's all I care about to be very honest.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yeah, it really makes no sense to me, either. People read to read, and for no other reason.

 

[Solivagant]

^ It's not making sense to me either. =/

Sorry rdor.

 

[ardour]

It’s different if you’re still willing to tolerate interruption and respond if they talk to you...

I get it, you guys are thinking “Well if they’re my friends then they will respect how I want to spend my time.”