breadbasket
Well-known member
I'm a 200 pound, 5'8" amassment of flesh, one that is sadly uncoordinated. I was miserable, very miserable. I only had one source of happiness, an understanding of math. I always used math as my only excuse for me having any reason to live. I had no other talent. I couldn't run far, I wasn't able to play guitar then, and until now I cannot write music. The Verdeckt Wiki is mediocre, and no longer going to be renovated. I was not handsome, and now I still don't have a job other than my mother's orchid business. But I always had math in my grasp. Math class was the hour where for once I reigned dominant, where I had something that still rendered me competent.
Well, I learned it was not true. Where I come from, Algebra 2, the level of polynomials and all, I realized was just basic algebra. I was a senior in high school, and much to my horror, I realized that Algebra 2... was kid's play. For twelve year I have dominated math class with an iron fist, only to realize that I am in the lowest performing state in the lowest performing country. No matter how much I passed all the other classes, I realized they kept me long enough to the point... that I just learned and forgot most of basic algebra. My fantasy fell apart, my one spot of happiness, where I felt victorious.
I met friends online and on the street. All they say was the time they were in calculus very early on. I never got the opportunity, I've passed every single class I've come across with an A. And all they were hear to tell me is how easy it was for them to pass something that was considered to hard for me... when they were much younger. I learned it was all a lie that I was special. All along I was competing with clueless douchebags.
I was in college by then dealing with depression at it's finest. Unlike my previous classes, I was stuck in College Algebra, stuck in the first chapters of an online class for the first half of the college semester. Severe depression, constant anxiety and hate from behind being from parents and siblings. I received no good information. "Get over depression" said my mom and dad. I would talk to my friends, and they would say that whatever advanced class they took, I don't even know what they're saying, "It's easy, all you have to do was focus." What kind of friends are they? Do they not understand what I felt? How pathetic it feels to have your only talent be crushed by the fact that it was jack honeysuckle? absolutely nothing?
The next day I came into college level algebra class of Math 135 of the University of Hawaii system. And for the whatever week, of the whatever day, I get to see the same smug face of the instructor that has never given one **** instruction, and turned my head, to the same **** question, that I was never able to solve, for a whole ******* month. And everyone, who was more viable and talented than me. Even the highschool ********* bully, can beat me in math. He had the ******* girls, the ******* car, the ******* job, he had my ******* scrotom in a ******* necklace, and now, he had my talent for math. My last talent and worth.
And I wanted to be an aerospace engineer.
I asked the teacher to help, and he did jack honeysuckle. I took my binder embroidered with a Pantera cover made from me with paint, and ripped all the documents in it with my mouth, chewed it, and spat it at the computer. And not one instruction was given. I gave a terroristic threat, and walked out the door, and the next day, I was arrested. A Felony of one year. And I thought to myself, one year with what I have left. Well, what do I have after my parents are going to kick myself out from knowing what I did. What do I have? I don't even have my math talent because it turns out it was never there, the only reason why I never jumped off that bridge the day I attempted suicide. Math, and it went out the window. And I get to think about it, sleeping with a crackhead.
I had no more hope for the future. I had no talent, no will to learn. I couldn't even speak the language of the universe of math, and I lived in a modern society, actually putting effort. Math was my ******* baby, the only ******* thing that kept me going and it was a lie created in the back of my mind. My resume is seemingly fake. My first job is just working in my mother's home business of selling orchids. I've never used a cashier, and I'm not a very good communicator. It's all fake.
Well, I learned it was not true. Where I come from, Algebra 2, the level of polynomials and all, I realized was just basic algebra. I was a senior in high school, and much to my horror, I realized that Algebra 2... was kid's play. For twelve year I have dominated math class with an iron fist, only to realize that I am in the lowest performing state in the lowest performing country. No matter how much I passed all the other classes, I realized they kept me long enough to the point... that I just learned and forgot most of basic algebra. My fantasy fell apart, my one spot of happiness, where I felt victorious.
I met friends online and on the street. All they say was the time they were in calculus very early on. I never got the opportunity, I've passed every single class I've come across with an A. And all they were hear to tell me is how easy it was for them to pass something that was considered to hard for me... when they were much younger. I learned it was all a lie that I was special. All along I was competing with clueless douchebags.
I was in college by then dealing with depression at it's finest. Unlike my previous classes, I was stuck in College Algebra, stuck in the first chapters of an online class for the first half of the college semester. Severe depression, constant anxiety and hate from behind being from parents and siblings. I received no good information. "Get over depression" said my mom and dad. I would talk to my friends, and they would say that whatever advanced class they took, I don't even know what they're saying, "It's easy, all you have to do was focus." What kind of friends are they? Do they not understand what I felt? How pathetic it feels to have your only talent be crushed by the fact that it was jack honeysuckle? absolutely nothing?
The next day I came into college level algebra class of Math 135 of the University of Hawaii system. And for the whatever week, of the whatever day, I get to see the same smug face of the instructor that has never given one **** instruction, and turned my head, to the same **** question, that I was never able to solve, for a whole ******* month. And everyone, who was more viable and talented than me. Even the highschool ********* bully, can beat me in math. He had the ******* girls, the ******* car, the ******* job, he had my ******* scrotom in a ******* necklace, and now, he had my talent for math. My last talent and worth.
And I wanted to be an aerospace engineer.
I asked the teacher to help, and he did jack honeysuckle. I took my binder embroidered with a Pantera cover made from me with paint, and ripped all the documents in it with my mouth, chewed it, and spat it at the computer. And not one instruction was given. I gave a terroristic threat, and walked out the door, and the next day, I was arrested. A Felony of one year. And I thought to myself, one year with what I have left. Well, what do I have after my parents are going to kick myself out from knowing what I did. What do I have? I don't even have my math talent because it turns out it was never there, the only reason why I never jumped off that bridge the day I attempted suicide. Math, and it went out the window. And I get to think about it, sleeping with a crackhead.
I had no more hope for the future. I had no talent, no will to learn. I couldn't even speak the language of the universe of math, and I lived in a modern society, actually putting effort. Math was my ******* baby, the only ******* thing that kept me going and it was a lie created in the back of my mind. My resume is seemingly fake. My first job is just working in my mother's home business of selling orchids. I've never used a cashier, and I'm not a very good communicator. It's all fake.
