Oh no You don't. You stay the hell out from thoughts like those and listen to what we have to say. We want You here and You sure as hell are gonna stay with us until we're done with You. You're gonna read and think about every single word below until You understand that they all actually are true.
It doesn't matter who's fault it is, You have the power to do whatever You want, right now. Ending Your life is the worst thing You could do to both Yourself and Your daughter. Feeling as bad as You do right now is a proof that You truly loved what You had very much. Even after what what Your daughter's mother did to You, You owe Yourself and Your daughter to take care of this fall and get back up again, and that's something You are gonna do once You understand it is possible. She loves You, You love her and when things like these happen You have to adapt to the new crap and make something good out of it. No matter how crappy You feel right now You can always get out of it and feel much better than You even did before this happened.
You know what, Kris? I envy You. You have someone very, very special to live for who's gonna love You no matter what happens. You had a life which got taken away from You and now You can shape it into whatever the heck You want meanwhile. There are so many people around the world, every day, who get to feel what You feel right now and half of them are gonna get up and start doing something with their lives while the rest aren't even gonna have one. There are many peeps at this forum forum alone who feel sorry enough for You for You to do the most lame and weak thing a human ever could do. My words can't slap You in the face to try and knock this beast of sorrow You have inside You out for good, but they CAN tell You the truth about life. A big one of those thruths are that You have given life to a young girl who's gonna miss having the best dad in the world around once in a while; her own. You get to see her enough to let her know that You love her, and that is the most important thing You could do to her. You need to get up and start doing things You and enjoy and try new things as well to find a better lifestyle.
Meanwhile she's growing up to become a woman, You're gonna start following a pattern which is gonna get You right again. As she get older she's gonna have the choice to be with You more and more and of course she's gonna want to do that! Mom just keeps complaining about her new boyfriends and why her hair looks like that, while her cool dad teach her good values about relationships and why it is cool to be Yourself. Are You that dad right now? If You aren't, You are gonna turn into one!
After a mental meltdown like the one popping Your brains out at this very moment, the thoughts and powers in there are restless and are trying to settle down in a new spot which makes sense to them. You have the devine privilege to change into a person You've always wanted to be and nobody can charge You for being stupid for that; they're gonna be happy that You changed Your mind, Your goals and probably even much of Your personality. Where do You think those weird folkes who natively are from some industrial country with shaven heads and a kimono around them sitting in a tailors-position You see on TV come from? They are people who had some major trauma in their lives and had to do something drastic to change!
If You try to be the best that You can be life is gonna smile at You for staying alive. You have been living like this for seven months now it seems and i suppose You, as i, find out oustanding that You've actually come this far! What exactly have You done to keep it up? You must have done something new?
You have a choice here, Kris; You can either listen to the evil ******* within You who wants You dead, or You can kick the honeysuckle out of it for trying to take You away from Your daughter. I get so PISSED OFF at ******** like the one You have inside Your head; they always intrude at the worst of times and won't get out until You get enlighted. By trying to get up and doing new, friendly stuff to Yourself and people around You, You are going to understand that You still got the power to spread love and improve both Yourselve's and other's life alot.
Reaching this form of enlightenment is going to start a fire in the middle of Your soul which is going to stop the other, evil side of it to go any closer to the right part of it; Your heart, destroying the most beautiful thing in the world. You can stop the fire with fire, and when that fire has burnt the bad honeysuckle out, there's gonna grow a forest there which is gonna be even more spectacular than the one You saved on the other side of Your soul. This is going to be the new Kris, torn by the devil for seven months and then prevailing against the god of death. Of course You are gonna be tired after a fight like that so You should take it easy for a while and let love sing it's choirs.
You don't have to eat some pills, read a book, or crawl in the cealing to get better, Kris. Buy a plant, see it grow into something beautiful thanks to Your love. Enjoy the sun in a park half a day just to try how it feels. Something i've said so many times in this forum so far that it's growing to quite a big pile now, is that You need to change track! Get off the cart in the current rollercoaster which ain't going anywhere and get on a new one which only leads up.
I want to see a new Kris be born and take on the world the way he want to be. What i don't want to see is a Kris who bail under due to the fact that the world isn't how he wants it to be. You are life, Kris. You are supposed to live and do crazy stuff that makes You happy to try to improve it at all times!
Change Your life drastically instead of ending it drastically! Come on, Kris! Show me that You are strong and scream the crap out of that ***** inside You who want You to follow it to the flames of hell! It's ok to shout all of a sudden, becuase You are changing track; leaving the logics of the old one and joining forces with the track which is going to lead You to salvation. You might not see where the track leads, but it sure as hell is much better than sitting on some kart in a rusty, slow, boring track, isn't it?
This has nothing to do with god or some crap like that. Love is much stronger! Hear my call and tell me that You are listening to the very same force that created Your child instead of the evil force that can do the opposit! You gave Love, Love gave You back, now i'm giving You love which is going to spread and show every ******* on this planet that love can not be beaten by some sorry old scare-tactics hatred planted in You.