MissUnderstood
New member
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2013
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I'm here because I need to vent. Like most people here. I may not know exactly what true loneliness is but this is the worst it's ever been for me and I don't know how to react.
I'm your average sophomore college girl. Well, other than the fact that I'm absolutely rubbish at friend relationships. I've had friends before, even a "best friend" once, but all they ever seemed to do was stab me in the back and leave me out to dry. I always strive to be the good friend, the one everyone can run to, but I've never really had someone like that for myself. So I suppose I'm a little bitter. I've been lied to by people who said they'd always be there and left for their own warped reasons or I've been used by them (usually for my car) and I'm not as willing to trust people anymore. I admit that this could be the reason why I don't have any close friends but I'm sick of reaching out and trusting someone, then having it dashed to pieces. My mother isn't exactly encouraging in this regard, pushing me in all the wrong ways to try to help. It's easy enough for her to say, "Well, just go talk to people". It's different for me to actually go do that.
As long as I can remember, I've had this problem (with keeping friends), and it doesn't always bother me. I get used to it, stop moping, and move on but it always seems to come back to haunt me. Maybe it's the people I'm choosing. Maybe it's not my fault at all but who knows? I think sometimes that my standards are just too high for anyone to meet, but then other times I think, "Well, if everyone wasn't a total imbecile, I'd get along with everyone so much better". That seems harsh of me but I just can't change it.
I have no one to talk to about this except for my boyfriend, and good thing I have him. He doesn't understand how I feel though and it's very difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it. I tried talking to my mother about possibly talking to a therapist but she's determined it's not my "gift", that it must be something that I'm doing. After hearing, "Well, I don't think you're *that* gifted. You would be doing much better in your classes if you were," I'm at the end of my rope. My mother is the very person that I thought would listen to what I was telling her, and the response I got wasn't what I expected.
I don't even know what I want out of this thread. Maybe advice from someone else who's been in a similar situation? Maybe just a kind word? I don't know what I want, but if you've read this, thank you. I know that I needed someone to listen and know where I'm coming from, so thank you again. I feel a little better posting here. It's just good to know that I'm not alone.
I'm your average sophomore college girl. Well, other than the fact that I'm absolutely rubbish at friend relationships. I've had friends before, even a "best friend" once, but all they ever seemed to do was stab me in the back and leave me out to dry. I always strive to be the good friend, the one everyone can run to, but I've never really had someone like that for myself. So I suppose I'm a little bitter. I've been lied to by people who said they'd always be there and left for their own warped reasons or I've been used by them (usually for my car) and I'm not as willing to trust people anymore. I admit that this could be the reason why I don't have any close friends but I'm sick of reaching out and trusting someone, then having it dashed to pieces. My mother isn't exactly encouraging in this regard, pushing me in all the wrong ways to try to help. It's easy enough for her to say, "Well, just go talk to people". It's different for me to actually go do that.
As long as I can remember, I've had this problem (with keeping friends), and it doesn't always bother me. I get used to it, stop moping, and move on but it always seems to come back to haunt me. Maybe it's the people I'm choosing. Maybe it's not my fault at all but who knows? I think sometimes that my standards are just too high for anyone to meet, but then other times I think, "Well, if everyone wasn't a total imbecile, I'd get along with everyone so much better". That seems harsh of me but I just can't change it.
I have no one to talk to about this except for my boyfriend, and good thing I have him. He doesn't understand how I feel though and it's very difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it. I tried talking to my mother about possibly talking to a therapist but she's determined it's not my "gift", that it must be something that I'm doing. After hearing, "Well, I don't think you're *that* gifted. You would be doing much better in your classes if you were," I'm at the end of my rope. My mother is the very person that I thought would listen to what I was telling her, and the response I got wasn't what I expected.
I don't even know what I want out of this thread. Maybe advice from someone else who's been in a similar situation? Maybe just a kind word? I don't know what I want, but if you've read this, thank you. I know that I needed someone to listen and know where I'm coming from, so thank you again. I feel a little better posting here. It's just good to know that I'm not alone.