Zackarydoo
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- Joined
- Nov 30, 2009
- Messages
- 220
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What a day for things to end. Well it's just a long-distance thing I had with someone I'd never met, but at times it was quite intense with real feelings. It's been a big mess from the start though to be honest and I've suffered a lot more than I've felt good. Often there have been such tiny things she could have done to stop me stressing, but she usually didn't bother.
She's a really lovely girl though, and has a lot of problems in life, and she really needs someone - But that someone can't be me any more. I've tried hugely but she just isn't letting things work out. I keep telling her that I can't try any more than I have. Could I just be her friend instead? I don't think I could go backwards like that really, even though I do sort of want to.
I almost ended it last night when we were texting back and forth, and it got a bit nasty. I did apologise and said I didn't want it to end, but now I've thought more, I think I need to take advantage of feeling terrible and end things quickly. If I keep holding on, I'll get more and more in a state about things relating to the relationship, and it'll get harder and harder to pull out. I've already waited too long. It's a shame to happen on Christmas day but I have to let her go. We were planning on speaking today when she opened the Christmas gift I'd sent her. I don't know if I can cope with speaking to her though. It's a shame because the gift meant something and took me almost a day to prepare for her. That's typical over-emotional over-sensitive and over-caring me, that always gets me hurt.
I'm dreading hearing from her today, assuming I do. I don't know if she'll want to still speak as planned or if I'll want to or not. If we speak, it means ending it on the phone, but it might be easier to just say nothing.
So that's the way my life is going at the moment and is why I'm lonelier than ever right now.
I hope everyone reading this has a good Christmas.
She's a really lovely girl though, and has a lot of problems in life, and she really needs someone - But that someone can't be me any more. I've tried hugely but she just isn't letting things work out. I keep telling her that I can't try any more than I have. Could I just be her friend instead? I don't think I could go backwards like that really, even though I do sort of want to.
I almost ended it last night when we were texting back and forth, and it got a bit nasty. I did apologise and said I didn't want it to end, but now I've thought more, I think I need to take advantage of feeling terrible and end things quickly. If I keep holding on, I'll get more and more in a state about things relating to the relationship, and it'll get harder and harder to pull out. I've already waited too long. It's a shame to happen on Christmas day but I have to let her go. We were planning on speaking today when she opened the Christmas gift I'd sent her. I don't know if I can cope with speaking to her though. It's a shame because the gift meant something and took me almost a day to prepare for her. That's typical over-emotional over-sensitive and over-caring me, that always gets me hurt.
I'm dreading hearing from her today, assuming I do. I don't know if she'll want to still speak as planned or if I'll want to or not. If we speak, it means ending it on the phone, but it might be easier to just say nothing.
So that's the way my life is going at the moment and is why I'm lonelier than ever right now.
I hope everyone reading this has a good Christmas.