Releasing My Insecurities

[AmytheTemperamental]

^He won't snap out of it, because he's sitting at his computer laughing at all of us. :club:

 

[TheRealCallie]

Seems to me Ska knows plenty about the hardships of life, even if he has high standards about employment. And, y'know, the more times I read this post, I've realized you display some of these behaviors too. *You* look down upon anyone who disagrees with your regressive and bizarre attempts at Nietzschean philosophy. *You* gleefully misjudge and generalize anyone who shows vulnerability or sensitivity, despite crying that people always misunderstand you. And just because you didn't intend to cause offense doesn't mean you always did. Helpful hint: it's not always on the offended person.

Please, tell me more about myself because you know me SO **** well....

 

[VanillaCreme]

I have a good feeling this thread will be closed soon. It was made without any intentions to actually listen to advice in the first place...

 

[Paraiyar]

Respectfully Ska, I do think Callie is actually trying to do a favour for you with her advice.

That may be so, but it does not change how it makes me feel. I disagree, and this is not the first time that I have disagreed with her or asked her to please leave me in peace.

I appreciate that your suggestion was made with respect and I hope you don't feel I've treated you badly and that we are on bad terms. Because although we disagreed on this thread we have managed to do so politely. Honestly one of my friends says the same thing as you were saying about taking any job but he also puts it in a polite, respectful way that I can take or leave, as opposed to trying to browbeat me into it after I have politely declined.

No, we are fine. I do worry however that you might not make the best out of the advice you've been given here but you've got the opportunity to prove me wrong on this

 

[Paraiyar]

^He won't snap out of it, because he's sitting at his computer laughing at all of us. :club:

Well true that...

 

[lifestream]

I have a good feeling this thread will be closed soon. It was made without any intentions to actually listen to advice in the first place...

He wasn't looking for advice. Just a measure of compassion or understanding about who he is. A shame you couldn't see that.

 

[Paraiyar]

I have a good feeling this thread will be closed soon. It was made without any intentions to actually listen to advice in the first place...

He wasn't looking for advice. Just a measure of compassion or understanding about who he is. A shame you couldn't see that.

Actually he also mentioned in the thread that he was looking to discover why he doesn't feel like an empowered actor.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I have a good feeling this thread will be closed soon. It was made without any intentions to actually listen to advice in the first place...

He wasn't looking for advice. Just a measure of compassion or understanding about who he is. A shame you couldn't see that.

Last sentence of the OP opens it up for advice.

I guess I'm just looking for a way to get rid of all this, beat my insecurities, fix myself and feel empowered.

 

[lifestream]

Ah, consider me informed, then.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Guys can we just stop the fighting?

This thread was about how being bullied and ostracized and the social stratification games that happens in school years, before I knew better, may have influenced me to have a low self-image and low self-esteem, and how although I might be over the actual events such as the bullying itself, the low self-image might still be influencing the way I see myself and the way I live my life. It was about trying to re-frame how I see myself, and making a new, more confident self-image that would give me a better chance at getting the things I want in life and being the person I really want to be.

That's what this is about. It's not about all this fighting stuff. It is not about jobs or saying I am better than anyone. Please. Let's get this back on track. I'm hoping that the thread won't be closed because I still might have thoughts on this and want to report my progress here, however slow it might be. And also I want to leave this open if anyone else is dealing with the same thing. Let's not fight needlessly here.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I have a good feeling this thread will be closed soon. It was made without any intentions to actually listen to advice in the first place...

He wasn't looking for advice. Just a measure of compassion or understanding about who he is. A shame you couldn't see that.

I have no compassion or sympathy for people who just don't listen at all. There's no way someone makes a thread, that's open to anyone to post, and thinks that there won't be something they don't want to see. If someone doesn't want advice, there's a diary section in which members can post to get things off their chest and other members can't post any replies.

Sorry, but an open thread doesn't even have to ask for advice. And if you weren't looking to get smart with me, maybe you'd see that.

 

[lifestream]

Okay, Vanilla. The moderator who hemmed and hawed and dissembled to avoid doing something as basic and necessary as drafting rules for a support forum (which would have helped to avoid messes like this thread has become) and then didn't even have the decency to give a yes or no to the issue doesn't like it when people don't listen. Well, neither do I.

Maybe if you weren't such an opportunistic tyrant who is far too close to the most disruptive elements on this forum and far too invested in their own need for control to actually mod effectively, you'd see that.

Feel free to ban me, by the way. All you'll be doing is proving my point for me.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I have no reason to ban you. I wasn't even telling you that as a mod. You sure harp on the fact that I'm a moderator. I would tell you what I did regardless.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Again, can we all stop. Please.

 

[Paraiyar]

Alright lets respect Ska's wishes.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I stopped replying at the start of the thread because right away you went into this "if you don't like someone, don't reply to their threads" moment.

Thank you for being respectful of that, at least. I mean that sincerely.

I have been following the thread the entire time. There are many people here who genuinely want to see your life get better. Everyone in their own way is trying to provide an insight or suggestions for direction that perhaps you haven't pushed hard at because of your insecurity.

See I don't know. Sometimes it feels like some people want to see me fail, because I am on the opposing side of their values and ideals. They want to see their people win, but I'm on the other side.

I admit there is probably a lot I haven't pushed hard at because of my insecurity. That is very likely. It's funny because in the end I have a hunch that I'm going to look back and say, I needed to just make the plan and do it - the creative stuff, the self improvement, the dating, all of it. I'm trying to do a lot at once and I get overwhelmed. I need to replace the insecurity with new personality traits, but I'm still growing into them and it doesn't fit me right just yet, though I think it will in time.

That's what I was getting at with the thread, really. Because of what happened, so much of my personality was composed of insecurities. When I get rid of the insecurities, there won't be much "me" left. That's the part I'm in right now.

I can tell that you are absolutely exhausted with your feelings and want something better.

I am, very much so. I feel like I'm in between those feelings and something better but not there yet. But I know that I don't want to be the person who let others walk all over me, who thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn't welcome in the "in" crowd, looking down on myself, telling myself I'm probably not good enough for this and that or that so-and-so is out of my league. I do want to keep some things about me though. I want to be able to reconcile being strong but still friendly.

And I think I can speak for many members here when I say that we want that for you, too. Keep your head up. Get on your feet. Allow yourself some freedom between thoughts and actions. You really don't need to wear a badge of honor to feel accomplished.

Thanks, for this ^

 

[SofiasMami]

Members can freely participate in any thread that's opened to the public. Don't like someone or what they say? Ignore it.

Ah, no, that's not how open forums work. You're not entitled to be protected from hearing blow-back on your bullying comments.
If you believe so strongly in simply ignoring comments you don't like, why aren't you following your own advice? Leave Ska alone.

-Teresa

 

[VanillaCreme]

Members can freely participate in any thread that's opened to the public. Don't like someone or what they say? Ignore it.

Ah, no, that's not how open forums work. You're not entitled to be protected from hearing blow-back on your bullying comments.
If you believe so strongly in simply ignoring comments you don't like, why aren't you following your own advice? Leave Ska alone.

-Teresa

You don't tell me what to post, thank you very much. And I haven't offered him any advice. I've stopped trying with him. He doesn't listen. I'm not wasting my time. There's no bullying comments, so stop with the professional victim honeysuckle already... Jesus Christ, someone says one thing you don't like and they're bullies? Get over it. I'm allowed to think what I want just as well as anyone else is. You don't get to tell me what to do, so get off your high horse in thinking that you have that right.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Members can freely participate in any thread that's opened to the public. Don't like someone or what they say? Ignore it.

Ah, no, that's not how open forums work. You're not entitled to be protected from hearing blow-back on your bullying comments.
If you believe so strongly in simply ignoring comments you don't like, why aren't you following your own advice? Leave Ska alone.

-Teresa

Good of you to not respect his wishes....lol

Again, can we all stop. Please.

 

[SofiasMami]

Back off, VC.

-Teresa