Resolution.

[Renkei]

ive lost my fiancee.
something that will take years to get over.
i am 17 and i dont have much long before i need to get everything together to live on my own.
poetry has been something i pour my feelings into.
i never had a father to talk to me.
my mother never talks to me.
Im very dependent on another sadly.
someone told me that
if you have nothing to lose.
you have everything to gain.
i hope that i have alot more to gain and learn from this.
what i have learned.
is that some people are liars, and some things arnt ment to be.
but that doesnt mean i have to dwell on what once was.
i have a whole life in front of me.
sure now i may be heart broken.
but ive realized that to reach your dream.
you must give up the ultimate sacrifice.
the love of your life.
and now i can follow my dreams.
ill make everyone proud that once left me there for dead.
ill change my life.
my whole life i felt like no one could hear me.
i have had no one to talk to no person to go too.
but through this pain and anguish ive gained something.
if she cant hear me.
if my father cant hear me
If my mother cant hear me.
ill sing it.

 

[Renkei]

ive been insomniac and a mess.

i have no body to talk to.
i gave up all my friends for her.
sacrificed everything.
a life of an Martyr.
now i sit here empty and alone.
with no one to talk to
she left for lust.
now i lay here empty.
sleepless as i cant sleep just one night.
i dont believe this is happening. but it is.
love is a lie.
when people swear they will be with you forever.
its not true.

why would it ever be true?
how come when i say it i mean it.
but when they do they are just saying it to be sweet.

i'm giving up on love.
nothing can fill the empty void of which my heart once was.

 

[Haven]

WOW your so young you did not deserve that but your still young plenty of fish just down let one bad girl shape your opinion on the gender as a whole time heals most wounds so stay calm it will get better try going to chat plenty of friends and good conversation

 

[Renkei]

i know and i realize that im not giving it all to her. im not going to be alone.
ima move on. she was selfish and obviously manipulated me to think it was truely love.
i swear most people are so twisted.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Make sure you do move on. I had a long term gf my last 2 years of HS who I was madly in love with and expected to marry, and I dwelled on it for TONS of years. I wasted so many opportunities in college because I wasn't interested in the girls as much as I was with her, so I turned some down (some were very good looking even- just didn't feel like my type at the time) and just didn't put any effort into dating.

Truthfully you can't trust most girls, so you need to put yourself out there and expect to probably go through a bunch. You have to try your best not to get attatched (even though I do that pretty easily). Most of them are probably going to screw you over in some way down the line, and you'll probably screw a few over yourself.

I just wish I jump started my life again when I was 18 and my gf and I parted ways because girls are everywhere when you're in college. EXPECT a ton of rejection from the start and then just go out there and start working. There might be plenty of girls out there, but you're not going to get with any them if you don't start approaching girls. Waiting for love to come to you is also a disaster in the making.

 

[Renkei]

Well i realize i was used for insecurity's.
when i believed i was loved.
it was all in my head.
but i understand now.
some people are really that cold.

-From First To Last-
I liked you better when you where naked on the internet.
-

it's amazing what you'll find when you just open your eyes
sometimes love can leave you blind
but still you try, to cover all the lies and ignore all the signs
sometimes love can leave you blind

what i thought was a certainty(was a certainty)
has left me(left me)
spinning in circles again

comparing to the last time that we had spoke it seems to
me that youre not happy, like you used to be

to you i'm like a flavor that wouldn't last
you took one bite and spat me out real fast

and now this mark remains, it will never ever go away
and now this mark remains, it will never ever go away
and now this mark remains, it will never ever go away

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I think your songs are cool.
Yeah express yourself however you feel. It's all original and from the heart.


here's mine...i ma wing it..

What would you do if I hate you today?
darl'in this is all I have to say...
Ya a fuken ***** on a monday
and you're a fucken ***** on a tuseday too
yes..yes I'm a fucken fool to be your tool..
Come tomorrow ya'll still a fucken *****
that's all I can say...
Have it your way...I fucken hate you.. okay
You wouldn't give a fresia if I hate you on a fucken Friday..
Cuz you're a fucken cheating lying *****..*****..*****.

 

[Renkei]

thats really amazing i understand the feeling..
and i hope to see more of your writings.
thanks for replying also.
self expression is the most amazing thing in the world.

I think your songs are cool.
Yeah express yourself however you feel. It's all original and from the heart.


here's mine...i ma wing it..

What would you do if I hate you today?
darl'in this is all I have to say...
Ya a fuken ***** on a monday
and you're a fucken ***** on a tuseday too
yes..yes I'm a fucken fool to be your tool..
Come tomorrow ya'll still a fucken *****
that's all I can say...
Have it your way...I fucken hate you.. okay
You wouldn't give a fresia if I hate you on a fucken Friday..
Cuz you're a fucken cheating lying *****..*****..*****.