Sadies Hawkins Dance

[user 134651]

I'm a freshman(Male 14, about to be 15 in September) in high school and our school is about to have a Sadies Hawkins dance. The only problem is that I feel like no one will ask me as it makes my self esteem very low. I've never even had a girlfriend and it makes me emotional sometimes. Some people call me ugly and some people call me adorable and cute. I'm about 5'6 and I'm skinny but not that skinny like soulja boy. I do not want to post a picture of me because I feel like someone in my school will find this post and show everyone. I socialize alot but it can be hard to make friends alot because I get awkward sometimes.

I feel so lonely that I even pray to god that I will have atleast 1 girlfriend one day or sometimes I just cry till I sleep. My mom has even asked me if a girl has asked me to the Sadies and I just died inside. I can tell my mom feels bad for me but she can't do anything about it.

I just don't know what else to say . I'm just tired of being alone at every school event and have to end up staying at home playing gta or something. What do I or should I do to feel loved for once?

 

[BadGuy]

at your age your supposed to feel awkward I think

have you any interests in any girls that you know ?
Anybody that seems to make a point of saying hi to you ?
If yes start talking to them ...try and figure out their interests..show some interest

Might be a little late for Sadies but you might work your way up to finding someone you feel comfortable enough to ask for a date
You have to accept some might say yes but they also might say no

 

[Paraiyar]

Having not had a girlfriend at age 14 is not abnormal at all, I'd say the majority of kids haven't had one at that age. If I could go back to my high school days I'd worry a lot less and enjoy the lack of responsiblity.

And if you do ask a girl and she rejects you then so what? Your head isn't going to explode into confetti and your life isn't going to be ruined. Throw caution to the wind because the sooner you get into the habit of taking and making opportunities, the more chance you'll have of getting what you want. I really wish I'd taken on this attitude when I was your age.

 

[user 134651]

Having not had a girlfriend at age 14 is not abnormal at all, I'd say the majority of kids haven't had one at that age. If I could go back to my high school days I'd worry a lot less and enjoy the lack of responsiblity.

And if you do ask a girl and she rejects you then so what? Your head isn't going to explode into confetti and your life isn't going to be ruined. Throw caution to the wind because the sooner you get into the habit of taking and making opportunities, the more chance you'll have of getting what you want. I really wish I'd taken on this attitude when I was your age.

Nah man, this is different. Everyone has had a partner and I feel left out. Everywhere I go, people kissing, people always asking me if i kissed a girl and stuff. Makes me down.

 

[Paraiyar]

I understand that but even if everyone else does have a partner like you think it doesn't mean they've actually had a girlfriend.

But here is the biggest problem I can see from what you've told us: You say that you feel no one will ask you out. This in my opinion is looking at the whole issue in a totally backwards way from the start because it sounds like you're going to wait for a girl to ask you. Well in my opinion, being male at your age means you will probably have to do the approaching in the first place. I might get some people shouting me at this thread by pointing out they're female and are willing to approach but the reality is that most of that responsibility falls to the guy. If you don't do it, a girl probably won't. Maybe I'm being unfair but I really wish someone had beaten this advice into me when I was your age.

Now maybe you're scared of rejection. Well take it from someone who knows first hand that going through your teens and early 20s without relationships and much intimacy with girls and having that feeling of wondering 'what could have been' is far worse than getting rejected. Honestly, I think the fear of rejection is worse then the actual thing most of the time.

Anyway, sorry if this advice isn't your cup of tea but I'm just calling it how I see it. Feel free to disregard every word of it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Why don't you ask someone you're comfortable with to go with you to this dance? She doesn't have to be a new girl, she can be a friend so that you can still go with someone, and still have a good time.

 

[carater]

Hello fellow.
Do you know any girl that you or her even say hello to each other?
Try to show interest in her.
Seek all the girls you say at least hello and speak with her , ask about what she likes , her desires etc.
Try to be a nice guy , attempt with the girls you actually like even a little.
Then ask they to the Sadies or other funny things , expend your time with her , make things going natural and this will be an habit.

Hope you find what your heart is looking for.

 

[user 134651]

Why don't you ask someone you're comfortable with to go with you to this dance? She doesn't have to be a new girl, she can be a friend so that you can still go with someone, and still have a good time.

I only have a few gals and they all have boyfriends :/

 

[MentatsGhoul]

Couple things.

a) It's normal to not have dated at 14-15. The reason it might seem like everyone is dating is because girls at that age often date creepy older guys, and the ones that DO date tend to be the popular ones, so they stand out more. Don't look at them. Look at the nerds, the chicks who aren't at the top level of attractiveness. Most of them won't be dating. And if they ARE, well, that's a problem with your school, isn't representative of people your age in general.

b) Don't focus on your looks. I'd say I'm well above average looking now, but I looked like a frog when I was your age. You're gonna change and mature. At best, invest in a good haircut and good clothes now, and develop a habit of dressing well and taking care of yourself. I know it sounds generic, but it's SO true. Not gonna lie, 5'6 is short, but you might still grow and I've known plenty of guys shorter than you that get with way more and way hotter girls than I ever could. As for being skinny, go to the gym, it adds so much. I started working out at your age (though, I was chubby rather than skinny), and it took me only a few months to get in good shape. Being skinny might be an advantage, since you can get a sixpack and stuff easier, since you don't need to lose that initial fat.

c) Look, if you don't get a date, you won't give a s... sorry, darn, about this dance in a few years, trust me. You'll see it as petty and stupid that you worried about something like that. You have PLENTY of time

d) I'm not going to give you the generic "focus on studying", because you'd just ignore it. But really don't make getting a girlfriend your main goal. Not saying give up on it, but make it a secondary thing. But focus on developing yourself. Your identity. Finding things you care about, are passionate about, and developing them. Even if it's just something like video games man, just go for it. You need to stand out in some way, be interesting in some way. That's the way you can get the attention of girls, the right girls, and actually keep them. Take this from me. All I did was waste time on the internet all my teenage years. I didn't develop any stable "hobbies" until I was 17, and now at 20 I can't hold any conversations or hold the interest of anyone, friend or date, due to being an empty shell of a person, no matter how good looking or smart or "nice" I am.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've heard about this dance. Is it like Homecoming?

I went stag to every dance I went to. I even went to my senior prom stag, but I was bored out of my mind. And I ended up dancing with girls at every single dance I went to in high school, aside from the prom (which was why I was bored out of my mind.)

Here's a tip from a guy who graduated High School 14 years ago. High School popularity doesn't matter at all once you get out of high school.

I was skinny, small, and awkward looking with big glasses when I was 14. My nickname was Steve Urkel. Look him up if you don't know who that is. Two years later, I shot up in size, got bigger, and changed my glasses to better frames. And I was more popular. Plus, I picked up a guitar, and people started noticing me.

I mentioned the dances I went to, but to be honest, I don't remember them, other than I had fun. That should be your goal. And if you don't go, you won't remember it or you'll think of it as silly in four years. I didn't die because I didn't have a date to the prom, and I certainly wouldn't go back and change anything (other than maybe not showing up at all.)

Lots of girls and guys don't get asked to be in relationships when they're in high school. There is no timeline for a first relationship.

Addressing rejection: it gets easier with time. The first times you ask out a girl can be really scary, but it does get less scary. And think, every time you get rejected, you're closer to someone else actually saying yes. Rejection isn't bad if you don't let it stop you from continuing to look and ask.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Is it a must to go to this dance? Personally, if I'm feeling daring, I'd go alone anyway. Otherwise, I'd skip it and find much better things to do and enjoy my time anyway.

 

[handheart]

Well dear friend the think that being alone at age of 15 years its so bad .In this world are people who have 40 years and they dont have a family wife etc .Lets tell you a secret ,with womens the important think its not about being beautyful but you must have confidence ,you must make them to laught etc.Beying ugly but i dont think you are its not a bad problem .You just need to be hapy with yourself and being funny and the girls will love you