Haven
Well-known member
Lately instead of sitting in the house all day hiding from the world I started going out side walking or sitting around watching other live their lives (I am not a stalker its just a sad hobby) I saw girl a graduated high school with I even remembered her name I thought maybe she might want to talk to me or not mind talking to me I stared at her for what felt like 30 seconds then are eyes locked by reflex like a gazelle seeing a lioness I diverted eye contact turn around and walk away a little quicker then I should have I was embarrassed I was scared of her scared shitless I do have some bad experiences with females
one time I brought one home we had plans this was my freshmen year in high school she met my older brother I then found out her and my brother had started a relationship and my brother out of guilt tried to break it of before it got to far or at least after they had sex I confronted my brother about it my brother bullied me during my child hood locking me in dark closets for hours lock out during the winter wear nothing but a t-shirt physical abuse in my Entire life having sex with her was the only thing he ever felt bad enough about to apologize for I have a few more bad circumstances with women but I digress
the point is Im scare I feel that If I face my fear ask one out and got rejected it would my fear worse I want to do things like flirt and date its just my spirit has been broken so many times by failed attempts that I have become fragile with out me knowing I developed a fear of rejection which I can add to the list of other things wrong with me next to low self esteem emotionally scared and lonely just another personal problem I have to fix
one time I brought one home we had plans this was my freshmen year in high school she met my older brother I then found out her and my brother had started a relationship and my brother out of guilt tried to break it of before it got to far or at least after they had sex I confronted my brother about it my brother bullied me during my child hood locking me in dark closets for hours lock out during the winter wear nothing but a t-shirt physical abuse in my Entire life having sex with her was the only thing he ever felt bad enough about to apologize for I have a few more bad circumstances with women but I digress
the point is Im scare I feel that If I face my fear ask one out and got rejected it would my fear worse I want to do things like flirt and date its just my spirit has been broken so many times by failed attempts that I have become fragile with out me knowing I developed a fear of rejection which I can add to the list of other things wrong with me next to low self esteem emotionally scared and lonely just another personal problem I have to fix
