Seeing people for who they really are

[sunshinemisa]

Hi everyone! I guess I just want to ask for some opinions on this subject.

About a year ago I quit on the spot from a very bad job. I am very proud of this action as before this I would have stayed and complained and would have been very miserable. At the same time I re-joined a club that I was away from due to my workaholicness (not a word I know lol)
These people I grew up with and I considered friends. I stopped going due to a better job and better pay but it seemed that everyone at the time were upset about it, but didn't say anything.

At this club I was a student and then volunteered to be a teacher. But, now that I'm back, it just seems like I'm not wanted although some people keep saying that they are glad that I'm back.

From last July to October, I couldn't sit or walk for long due to sciattica (sorry for the bad spelling) I'm doing better now but, can't drive long distances yet. Anyhow, during this time of severe bordom, I had alot of time to think. And as I looked back I started to really see people for who they really are. Mostly it was the people at this club that I re-joined but, even my husband's friends I saw them with their true colours.

I miss having friends but, I like being alone too. I want to make new friends but, I see how people make snap judgements and then I wonder if I really want to be friends with people like that.

Does this make any sense? Let me know what you think.

Sorry for the long story.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe you need friends that are more neutral towards people.

 

[whispers]

I have all kinds of friends, I dont share anything sensitive or personnal to those who are jugemental and gossips. I still call them my friends because they are nice to talk with at outings and some people in the group like to have them around. They are nice, just not trustworthy. I do have a few who i would trust with my life, those are my real friends. I love them.
Just saying that there are different levels of frienship and as long as you know who you are dealing with its ok

 

[FreedomFromLiberty]

Hi everyone! I guess I just want to ask for some opinions on this subject.

About a year ago I quit on the spot from a very bad job. I am very proud of this action as before this I would have stayed and complained and would have been very miserable. At the same time I re-joined a club that I was away from due to my workaholicness (not a word I know lol)
These people I grew up with and I considered friends. I stopped going due to a better job and better pay but it seemed that everyone at the time were upset about it, but didn't say anything.

At this club I was a student and then volunteered to be a teacher. But, now that I'm back, it just seems like I'm not wanted although some people keep saying that they are glad that I'm back.

From last July to October, I couldn't sit or walk for long due to sciattica (sorry for the bad spelling) I'm doing better now but, can't drive long distances yet. Anyhow, during this time of severe bordom, I had alot of time to think. And as I looked back I started to really see people for who they really are. Mostly it was the people at this club that I re-joined but, even my husband's friends I saw them with their true colours.

I miss having friends but, I like being alone too. I want to make new friends but, I see how people make snap judgements and then I wonder if I really want to be friends with people like that.

Does this make any sense? Let me know what you think.

Sorry for the long story.

I'm sorry, but your story is missing actual details that would make it easier to understand.

what club are you a part of?
you said people have shown their true colors, how did they do this and who did it?
how do your husband's friends relate to any of this?
why would anybody be mad at you for taking a better job? Are they just jealous sour pusses?

You need not apologize for writing long rants. I think boards like this are made for that stuff.

 

[sunshinemisa]

Hi everyone! I guess I just want to ask for some opinions on this subject.

About a year ago I quit on the spot from a very bad job. I am very proud of this action as before this I would have stayed and complained and would have been very miserable. At the same time I re-joined a club that I was away from due to my workaholicness (not a word I know lol)
These people I grew up with and I considered friends. I stopped going due to a better job and better pay but it seemed that everyone at the time were upset about it, but didn't say anything.

At this club I was a student and then volunteered to be a teacher. But, now that I'm back, it just seems like I'm not wanted although some people keep saying that they are glad that I'm back.

From last July to October, I couldn't sit or walk for long due to sciattica (sorry for the bad spelling) I'm doing better now but, can't drive long distances yet. Anyhow, during this time of severe bordom, I had alot of time to think. And as I looked back I started to really see people for who they really are. Mostly it was the people at this club that I re-joined but, even my husband's friends I saw them with their true colours.

I miss having friends but, I like being alone too. I want to make new friends but, I see how people make snap judgements and then I wonder if I really want to be friends with people like that.

Does this make any sense? Let me know what you think.

Sorry for the long story.

I'm sorry, but your story is missing actual details that would make it easier to understand.

what club are you a part of?
you said people have shown their true colors, how did they do this and who did it?
how do your husband's friends relate to any of this?
why would anybody be mad at you for taking a better job? Are they just jealous sour pusses?

You need not apologize for writing long rants. I think boards like this are made for that stuff.

I admit i really cut down on the details because the story would have been even longer.

I was a part of a japanese dancing group/club, I was a student as a child and volunteered to become a teacher as I grew older. At the time I was offered a better job, I was thinking of quitting the group because of the negative environment.

As for people showing their true colors, there is one person/teacher(let's call her "Jill") who wasn't a teacher when I was a teacher there who is a teacher now. This person would be very harsh, very critical and show favoritism. If I were to ask questions on how to pose or if they could show a step again because I didn't get it the first time, it was met with a sigh and i was told in a frustrated tone (As if I should get it the first time around) I haven't danced in over 10 years since I left the group and yet there is a sense of expection that I should be able to pick up where I left off. When I made a mistake, no one corrected me, one of the other students would correct me.

There is a memorial service that is held every year for those who have passed on that I haven't been to in a couple of years. When I asked if anyone was going and if I could meet them there, the comment made by "Jill" was, "Maybe I'll skip this year" and she was looking directly at me when she said this. "Jill" never skips this, and other people commented on that as well. There have been other comments that I have forgotten about because they were rude, negative and just not worth my time to worry about. Other people would hear these comments made and wouldn't say anything or pretend to not hear them.

Sorry for the long story.

 

[Lonely in BC]

Coud it be that "Jill" sees you as a threat? I had a work experience that sounded exactly like what you described- I later found out that the "Jill" in my situation frequently acted that way towards work counterparts that had equal qualifications and would do his best to undermine them. I think that once insecure people have established a comfort zone that any change is seen as an intrusion. The situation I experienced was so bizarre- it still amazes me how someone who has reached a level of teacher/instructor/supervisor would much rather watch you spin your wheels or make a mistake than be helpful and allow their experience to benefit all. Getting away from that work situation benefitted me greatly, I had no idea how much it had affected my outlook on life until I was away from it.

In your original post you mentioned "seeing people for who they really are". The one given about all of us is that we're going to change. Some for the better, some for the worst. As I've got to know people and they've become "comfortable" with you I think some of the guards we all have to some extent slip and we see beyond the facade so many have- a physical example would be the person who sees someone attractive coming towards them so they suck in the gut, puff the chest a bit, and straighten up to appear more noticeable (both genders do this btw)- after awhile though they show their "true" self.

Isn't it interesting how we have time for introspection during times of recovery or other downtime that we often don't have when we're busy with our day to day lives.

That's my ramble.....

 

[sunshinemisa]

Coud it be that "Jill" sees you as a threat? I had a work experience that sounded exactly like what you described- I later found out that the "Jill" in my situation frequently acted that way towards work counterparts that had equal qualifications and would do his best to undermine them. I think that once insecure people have established a comfort zone that any change is seen as an intrusion. The situation I experienced was so bizarre- it still amazes me how someone who has reached a level of teacher/instructor/supervisor would much rather watch you spin your wheels or make a mistake than be helpful and allow their experience to benefit all. Getting away from that work situation benefitted me greatly, I had no idea how much it had affected my outlook on life until I was away from it.

In your original post you mentioned "seeing people for who they really are". The one given about all of us is that we're going to change. Some for the better, some for the worst. As I've got to know people and they've become "comfortable" with you I think some of the guards we all have to some extent slip and we see beyond the facade so many have- a physical example would be the person who sees someone attractive coming towards them so they suck in the gut, puff the chest a bit, and straighten up to appear more noticeable (both genders do this btw)- after awhile though they show their "true" self.

Isn't it interesting how we have time for introspection during times of recovery or other downtime that we often don't have when we're busy with our day to day lives.

That's my ramble.....

Hi!

I was thinking along the same lines in regards to "Jill" and I thought "that's crazy. " But hearing someone else say that makes me feel more sane. lol! The problem is that I recognise that going back to this club will be a negative environment (due to "Jill") however part of me still wants to go back. (crazy I know)

I 've always had my guard up (even now) but now my attitude is more open, accepting and non-judgemental. Trust is earned but, that comes with time.

With 2011 finally gone, alot of people knowing what I went through last year would have felt sorry for me. I'm glad that I had the down time that I had, especially the last 6 months with sciaticca.(didn't enjoy the pain though) The introspection was I think, my dad's way of telling me to slow down, enjoy life and take time to smell the roses once in awhile.

That's my ramblings for the day. Stay positive and no regrets!

 

[joejoeyjoseph]

Here's some advice I received recently that has really helped me out and you might find useful...

I was trying to explain to a doctor that I thought my wife thought I was a loser. And the doctor goes, "How do you know that? Did she tell you that?" And I said, "Hmmm. No, I guess I just thought that." And he goes, "Well, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about what other people think unless they actually tell you. People misinterpret body language all the time. They don't really teach us body language in school. Work on listening and go from there."

Hope that helps you.

 

[Lonely in BC]

Here's some advice I received recently that has really helped me out and you might find useful...

I was trying to explain to a doctor that I thought my wife thought I was a loser. And the doctor goes, "How do you know that? Did she tell you that?" And I said, "Hmmm. No, I guess I just thought that." And he goes, "Well, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about what other people think unless they actually tell you. People misinterpret body language all the time. They don't really teach us body language in school. Work on listening and go from there."

Hope that helps you.

Something to ponder triple j

 

[sunshinemisa]

Here's some advice I received recently that has really helped me out and you might find useful...

I was trying to explain to a doctor that I thought my wife thought I was a loser. And the doctor goes, "How do you know that? Did she tell you that?" And I said, "Hmmm. No, I guess I just thought that." And he goes, "Well, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about what other people think unless they actually tell you. People misinterpret body language all the time. They don't really teach us body language in school. Work on listening and go from there."

Hope that helps you.

Something to ponder triple j

Hi and thanks for the advice. While I agree with people misinterpretting body language all the time, there's also time honored experience. 2 jobs ago, I worked at a company where my managers were negative and bullys. My staff were so fearful for their jobs that most of them turned into "sheep" and began spreading lies, rumours, etc(anything to demote me). I stood my ground and protected the ones who needed protecting while doing the right thing. In the end, my last manager saw what was really going on and got me promoted again and ended all the negativity. I survived that job(it almost ended my life) but, I do know about misinterepretting body language and that is not the case here.

It's just sad because I do want to go back to volunteering and teaching again. Oh well, sometimes it's just not ment to be.

 

[sullirose]

I have all kinds of friends, I dont share anything sensitive or personnal to those who are jugemental and gossips. I still call them my friends because they are nice to talk with at outings and some people in the group like to have them around. They are nice, just not trustworthy. I do have a few who i would trust with my life, those are my real friends. I love them.
Just saying that there are different levels of frienship and as long as you know who you are dealing with its ok

There are definitely different levels of friendship. Different levels of trust, really. I had some people I'd trust with my life, others that I trusted to know I'd have a wonderful time letting go with. The thing I find strange is that everyone disappeared when I really needed support. Everyone. My family, parents, siblings, cousin who is my essential twin. Good people aren't hard to find, but they're hard to get in your corner. I find that is why most people pretend they're good to manipulate to get their needs.

 

[sunshinemisa]

I have all kinds of friends, I dont share anything sensitive or personnal to those who are jugemental and gossips. I still call them my friends because they are nice to talk with at outings and some people in the group like to have them around. They are nice, just not trustworthy. I do have a few who i would trust with my life, those are my real friends. I love them.
Just saying that there are different levels of frienship and as long as you know who you are dealing with its ok

There are definitely different levels of friendship. Different levels of trust, really. I had some people I'd trust with my life, others that I trusted to know I'd have a wonderful time letting go with. The thing I find strange is that everyone disappeared when I really needed support. Everyone. My family, parents, siblings, cousin who is my essential twin. Good people aren't hard to find, but they're hard to get in your corner. I find that is why most people pretend they're good to manipulate to get their needs.

I feel that same way. When I finally worked up the courage to go to theraphy I told no one about it. My now husband thought that it was a waste of time and money and kept asking do you still have to go it's costing us money you know. At the time I really needed someone to listen and give me a "3rd party" observation, which really helped. Towards the end when I decided to stop theraphy, I felt better in the sense that I had more tools to cope and deal with issues that come up.

I agree good people aren't hard to find, people who accept you for who you are and want friendship back and nothing else is very hard to find. I just miss totally being myself and not having to worry about what other people think and/or what people will say. I know, that I shouldn't worry about that stuff (and I have come to a place where so far I haven't) but, meeting new or old friends alike, will bring that feeling up.

 

[joejoeyjoseph]

You can't "see" people for who they really are because they're not going to show you most of the time. We have private rooms in our homes because we want to hide things we do from sight. It's the same in public. We lock things up inside and we don't let them out. It might be painful for someone to show you that they care, or that they have an answer for you that you're not going to like, so they may hide themselves from you to avoid you seeing their private emotions or traits or the fact that they have nothing to tell you that you're going to want to hear.

The funny thing about me is that I can't hide my emotion in my face. When someone asks me something and I generally don't want to help at the moment, for whatever reason, I have this "I don't care" face and it really shows. But you'll never really know who someone really is unless you ask them and they answer you sincerely. I would come off as someone who didn't care to that person above but if they asked I would say, "I'm sorry. It's just that I have other things going on and a low attention span". And nobody would misinterpret anything because we would have found the answer by -talking- to each other instead of assuming.

To the OP, personally I would have asked the people you think are out to get you before jumping to conclusions about them, it's actually not giving them the benefit of the doubt which is something we all would like to have especially in social scenarios. It is just the right thing to do. Without having a dialog with them you will never know. And if you're avoiding them because of your assumptions then they will start to notice and really not like you - like a self-fulfilling prophecy or something like that. You sound like one of those people who has everything "all figured out" but that can be harmful to your self. In all honesty and sincerity I would really hope that you stop judging people and start talking to them as a friend. You said yourself it's been 10 years with you gone and that you "left the group" - maybe, for example, that hurt their efforts way back then and they remember you for that. Sometimes people only remember the bad things about you. It seems like you could do a million good things and then one bad thing and that's it, you're a bad person! Nobody knows you and you may not be making an effort to re-introduce yourself or be kind. You need to earn your place again. Have you tried talking to them about anything less personal? Things they like to do or something like that? Anything but negativity for starters then you can be like "You know you're really cool. I thought you hated me last week" or something.

You get it. You'll be fine! But give them a chance first and earn their respect or you will be making yourself out to be hostile or unfriendly.

 

[sunshinemisa]

You can't "see" people for who they really are because they're not going to show you most of the time. We have private rooms in our homes because we want to hide things we do from sight. It's the same in public. We lock things up inside and we don't let them out. It might be painful for someone to show you that they care, or that they have an answer for you that you're not going to like, so they may hide themselves from you to avoid you seeing their private emotions or traits or the fact that they have nothing to tell you that you're going to want to hear.

The funny thing about me is that I can't hide my emotion in my face. When someone asks me something and I generally don't want to help at the moment, for whatever reason, I have this "I don't care" face and it really shows. But you'll never really know who someone really is unless you ask them and they answer you sincerely. I would come off as someone who didn't care to that person above but if they asked I would say, "I'm sorry. It's just that I have other things going on and a low attention span". And nobody would misinterpret anything because we would have found the answer by -talking- to each other instead of assuming.

To the OP, personally I would have asked the people you think are out to get you before jumping to conclusions about them, it's actually not giving them the benefit of the doubt which is something we all would like to have especially in social scenarios. It is just the right thing to do. Without having a dialog with them you will never know. And if you're avoiding them because of your assumptions then they will start to notice and really not like you - like a self-fulfilling prophecy or something like that. You sound like one of those people who has everything "all figured out" but that can be harmful to your self. In all honesty and sincerity I would really hope that you stop judging people and start talking to them as a friend. You said yourself it's been 10 years with you gone and that you "left the group" - maybe, for example, that hurt their efforts way back then and they remember you for that. Sometimes people only remember the bad things about you. It seems like you could do a million good things and then one bad thing and that's it, you're a bad person! Nobody knows you and you may not be making an effort to re-introduce yourself or be kind. You need to earn your place again. Have you tried talking to them about anything less personal? Things they like to do or something like that? Anything but negativity for starters then you can be like "You know you're really cool. I thought you hated me last week" or something.

You get it. You'll be fine! But give them a chance first and earn their respect or you will be making yourself out to be hostile or unfriendly.

Okay triple J you've said quite a bit and I've listened. You mention that I should talk to the other person before making assumptions. You also mentioned that I seem to have "figured everything out" and to stop judging people and to start talking to them.

I did reach out to all parties in question. I invited them all to my house (because during this period, I couldn't really get out of the house (sciatica)) and if it was a public place they might not be so honest because they would not want to make a scene. I invited not once but 3 times. All 3 times someone couldn't go and then no one could go.

As for not being kind or going out of the way to re-introduce myself, I have. Before classes started up again, there was a 50th recital. That's when the re-introductions were done. Any performance we went to, I would start and finish the clean up. If someone had started the clean up, I would offer my help. During practices, if anyone needed help, I would be the first one to help. The one thing that I'm not doing is being the doormat that I used to be.

Don't get me wrong, I understand what you are trying to say and I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for all the opinons here, that's why I asked.

 

[joejoeyjoseph]

Can I ask, did you ever show support during the 10 years you were away from the group? Maybe they felt a little neglected? You said you couldn't leave the house but did you send cards or email others to recommend the shows they were putting on? Maybe instead of jumping back in where you left off you could perform some administrative functions for them to help out first? Like use a computer to design show fliers or do some fundraising? Just a thought, best of luck to you!

 

[Lonely in BC]

Reading the responses to this thread has me thinking of trust issues and relying on others. I hope I'm not hijacking sunhinemisas thread with this thought I have.

The industry I work in is a pretty dangerous place to be. I'm training to be part of a rescue team that responds to various scenarios in all kinds of weather conditions. It could be an avalanche, a fire, or a person having a heart attack- we have to respond. It's in a work environment that has a multitude of different personalities and attitudes and the opinions on everything about life that go with those qualities. Some of the guys I work with can be real jackassess to deal with on a day to day basis but when an incident happens everyone closes ranks, pulls together, and has the singular purpose of doing everything possible to get a possibly injured individual home to his/her family. That's when I've seen the best in people- everybody pulling together despite the extenuating circumstances (such as the possibility that the incident was due to extreme stupidity of the injured party). While I applaud the thoughts, efforts, and intent of all who respond in that positive light I'm still troubled by my observation of how quickly these same people will backstab and climb on top of each other to get ahead or try to be popular when everything is "situation normal" in the day to day activities. There are also the positioning/posturing issues alluded to in the OP's original post- anyone "new" (or returning as in her case) is seen as a threat by the old guard.

Dam, its everywhere! I'm grateful that I can't find or force that attitude in myself.

 

[joejoeyjoseph]

Reading the responses to this thread has me thinking of trust issues and relying on others. I hope I'm not hijacking sunhinemisas thread with this thought I have.

The industry I work in is a pretty dangerous place to be. I'm training to be part of a rescue team that responds to various scenarios in all kinds of weather conditions. It could be an avalanche, a fire, or a person having a heart attack- we have to respond. It's in a work environment that has a multitude of different personalities and attitudes and the opinions on everything about life that go with those qualities. Some of the guys I work with can be real jackassess to deal with on a day to day basis but when an incident happens everyone closes ranks, pulls together, and has the singular purpose of doing everything possible to get a possibly injured individual home to his/her family. That's when I've seen the best in people- everybody pulling together despite the extenuating circumstances (such as the possibility that the incident was due to extreme stupidity of the injured party). While I applaud the thoughts, efforts, and intent of all who respond in that positive light I'm still troubled by my observation of how quickly these same people will backstab and climb on top of each other to get ahead or try to be popular when everything is "situation normal" in the day to day activities. There are also the positioning/posturing issues alluded to in the OP's original post- anyone "new" (or returning as in her case) is seen as a threat by the old guard.

Dam, its everywhere! I'm grateful that I can't find or force that attitude in myself.

That sounds like a good line of work! Helping people is contagious in the best ways!

Here's what I think about what you've noticed, for what it's worth... Everybody finds it hard to make someone into a friend, those who say it isn't hard are trying to look confident, successful or "tough". Everybody has habits they use every time to make friends and rarely will somebody change their habits when they know they work out for their benefit. Most people really believe that if something's bad for a small group - or even one person - it's OK to do it if it benefits the majority - or in their personal goal, makes them feel popular with friends. I mean, how easy is it to complain about something? Most conversations I have in public are standing in a line and having somebody start with something like "This line sucks" or something like that. This leads me to believe the same negativity comes so easily when only dealing with people competing for "coolness" amongst each other. Someone may say "Look at that nasty sweater she's wearing!" or something like that and then the next cool group member might take it a step further like "Let's go make fun of her for it." and on and on until that person leaves the group and is no longer competing for "cool" space.

Basically I think that people will throw each other under the bus in small groups so they can make friends with a majority of the people they are around. I call it bullying. I don't know how people that do this justify it though. I think it's uncalled for and childish. I've had the opportunity as the second person who receives the question "Isn't that chick ugly?" and I've said "no" and the nasty person walked out of the group altogether out of embarrassment. Good! Worked out the best way it could have!

 

[sunshinemisa]

Reading the responses to this thread has me thinking of trust issues and relying on others. I hope I'm not hijacking sunhinemisas thread with this thought I have.

The industry I work in is a pretty dangerous place to be. I'm training to be part of a rescue team that responds to various scenarios in all kinds of weather conditions. It could be an avalanche, a fire, or a person having a heart attack- we have to respond. It's in a work environment that has a multitude of different personalities and attitudes and the opinions on everything about life that go with those qualities. Some of the guys I work with can be real jackassess to deal with on a day to day basis but when an incident happens everyone closes ranks, pulls together, and has the singular purpose of doing everything possible to get a possibly injured individual home to his/her family. That's when I've seen the best in people- everybody pulling together despite the extenuating circumstances (such as the possibility that the incident was due to extreme stupidity of the injured party). While I applaud the thoughts, efforts, and intent of all who respond in that positive light I'm still troubled by my observation of how quickly these same people will backstab and climb on top of each other to get ahead or try to be popular when everything is "situation normal" in the day to day activities. There are also the positioning/posturing issues alluded to in the OP's original post- anyone "new" (or returning as in her case) is seen as a threat by the old guard.

Dam, its everywhere! I'm grateful that I can't find or force that attitude in myself.

That sounds like a good line of work! Helping people is contagious in the best ways!

Here's what I think about what you've noticed, for what it's worth... Everybody finds it hard to make someone into a friend, those who say it isn't hard are trying to look confident, successful or "tough". Everybody has habits they use every time to make friends and rarely will somebody change their habits when they know they work out for their benefit. Most people really believe that if something's bad for a small group - or even one person - it's OK to do it if it benefits the majority - or in their personal goal, makes them feel popular with friends. I mean, how easy is it to complain about something? Most conversations I have in public are standing in a line and having somebody start with something like "This line sucks" or something like that. This leads me to believe the same negativity comes so easily when only dealing with people competing for "coolness" amongst each other. Someone may say "Look at that nasty sweater she's wearing!" or something like that and then the next cool group member might take it a step further like "Let's go make fun of her for it." and on and on until that person leaves the group and is no longer competing for "cool" space.

Basically I think that people will throw each other under the bus in small groups so they can make friends with a majority of the people they are around. I call it bullying. I don't know how people that do this justify it though. I think it's uncalled for and childish. I've had the opportunity as the second person who receives the question "Isn't that chick ugly?" and I've said "no" and the nasty person walked out of the group altogether out of embarrassment. Good! Worked out the best way it could have!

So I have had so time to think and triple J thank you for your honesty. I wish I could tell you my life story so that you can better understand where I'm coming from but, that would bore you to tears. I know that we all have had something happen or many things happen to us (which is why we are here). Triple J, if I offended you or upset you, I apologise. I asked for advice and you gave me honesty.

Lonely in BC, you aren't hijacking the thread with your thought. What wonderful and rewarding work you have and the impact that you make when your team responds. It's too bad about the back stabbing though, in your team. I've been there and it nearly destroyed me.

Triple J: when you say "Basically I think that people will throw each other under the bus in small groups so they can make friends with a majority of the people they are around. I call it bullying" that's how I feel most of the time. Long time ago in that group, I used to be one of those people. When I went back to the group, I was the one who said "no" to the negative comments and tried to be the one with the positive comments. Majority won.

I really hate (I don't use the word hate too often) bullies. I've been bullied since I was a child til about a year ago. I stood my ground and told my boss that enough was enough. No more verbal abuse, no more humuliation in front of everyone, no more retaliation for doing the right thing and legal way. That was a great day, my anxiety was off the charts but I knew if I didn't do something like that, I prob. would have done something really stupid. There are days (like today) where I feel so lost and the I come here and I almost feel like I can be myself and not have to hide.

Sorry for the long ramble