self loathing and regret

[dukey]

I am feeling such a sense of no self worth right now. My final email from from friend went as such "I was so niave to believe that we were just friends, I should have realized that you were obsessed with me. I am disappointed. Do not contact me anymore" I then researched obsessed on the net and it was true. Everything I read fit perfectly I feel like such honeysuckle. Why didn't I just keep quiet about the phone records and continue to at least have a friend? I feel like such a physco freak right now!! The whole summer we spent together enjoying each others company, going to the beach, going out for drinks, watching movies.. ect.. I enjoyed it so much but was it that I just wanted to be with her intimately? I sure was jeleous of all the attention and all the social things she was a part of. Now that it is completely over with no contact at all I feel worse. Why could I not go on trying to be that supportive friend. She held me in high regard for that and I let her down being obsessive. Such a character flaw on my part. The thing is I don't have much in my life and I am dwelling on this loss. I feelm myself sliding deeper into depression ( which has destroyed me in the past) Everyday chores seem so mundane and fruitless. being alone with no one to care about me weighs on me. I know she was partly to blame. She had told me that she likes to get guys to like her and then push them away. (a big game) she never pushed me away maybe because I was always spending money on her or maybe it was that she truly did enjoy our friendship?? I'll never know because I don't think she'll speak with me again and I haven't tried to contact her. What do you guys think about all this? your input has been very enlightening before and I GREATLY APPRECIATE IT!!

 

[cklove]

Dukey

You are the only one that can answer the questions like "was I only friends with her cause I wanted more?"

You live and learn. Maybe you did or maybe not but you are learning a lesson right now. Next time around you'll be more aware of your behavior and the other person's behavior.

Sounds like she was possibly playing you. You must have had your own suspicions about this. You said you were spending money on her that's why I think this is a possibility.

Always ask yourself "what is/ was my true intention?" you'll get the picture very clearly. Possibilities:
For ex.
You wanted to be friends.
You wanted to be friends than later wanted to be more intimate.
You liked how she had a social life you wanted to be a part of it.

What was her true intention?
Did one of you think it was something different than the other?
did you both ever talk about your rel.?
it's possible that there were mixed messages between the two of you

Please don't agonize over this live and learn

 

[NewBirth]

sounds 2 me like shes just trying 2 cut her losses
u cut off the phone. & now shes probably feeling @ a loss. so she had 2 send the "disconnect" email. 2 save her ego
she let u pay 4 that phone LoL... that just says it all right there

she never pushed me away maybe because I was always spending money on her

yep. & now she sees the end 2 that bcuz u cut off the phone
grab hold of urself. & let this leech go
believe me... sounds like her loss & ur gain

 

[mink]

Agree with NB here..he's said what i basically thought of saying. You're gaining here, at some freedom and life too.

 

[Presence]

Dude, get your obsessiveness, neediness and desperation sorted. Never be like that with any woman(Apart from mums lol). You can take this two ways, one way is to do as your title says(i took a similar path) or you can see it as a learning curve, no woman likes that honeysuckle, I assure you this lesson is more important then that girl, if you learn from it you will be a better person.

 

[exeronorama]

ur not the only one who has faced this type of honeysuckle... just remember that somewhere down the line, you will find a sweetheart (atleast thats the thought that keeps me goin... for now)