Set Them Free

[SophiaGrace]

I feel kind of bad right now. I deleted a friend online. We used to be best friends, now we hardly talk anymore. It makes me sick to my stomache and i'm combating feelings of bitterness.

I blocked her on MSN and deleted our friendship from facebook because I couldn't deal with seeing her online and knowing that she didn't wish to talk to me anymore.

She didnt respond to my Wall posts
Nor to my PMs
or my Texts
and acted like she always had to go 2 minutes into any IM conversation I would start with her.

These are signs that tell me "I dont want to talk to you anymore Soph but I dont want to tell you this to your face."

I shouldn't have put so much emphasis into the friendship. I was always afraid of the friendship being broken apart. Afraid of losing her, which sounds utterly stupid to me considering she was only a friend and not a significant other.

I did love her, in a platonic sort of way i think. If that makes any sense. She was one of the people I felt closest to in the world for a while and losing contact with her has felt as though I have let go of an anchoring rope and find myself somewhat adrift in a foreign sea.

I should just be grateful she was in my life at all and that I had a chance to meet her.

I just feel bad right now. Bad that I deleted her and maybe made a mistake that would make her feel bad when she realized our friendship was gone on facebook. Bad that I cared so much. Bad that I've felt feelings of bitterness. Just plain ol' bad. I think the feelings of badness are guilt and grief intertwined.

"If you love something, set it free" - Anonymous

 

[stella]

why doesn't she want to speak to you anymore?

 

[SophiaGrace]

why doesn't she want to speak to you anymore?

She hasnt said, its more like something that's left unspoken between us that I sense.

 

[nerdygirl]

aww *hugs* You may pester me on Facebook.

 

[Aksy]

This is exactly what I was thinking about right now. Not long ago I had a few good online friends ( maybe more than good ). I had some of the best times with them but then I don't know why I just started to not go on yahoo mess and skype (where I was chatting and so on with them ) for a few months. I feel like crap and I just can't figure it out why I did that , I still have them and talk with them from time to time but now its just " Hey - Hey - How are you ? - Good - Good to know " and it kinda sucks. My online experience was never the same since then . By this I'm saying that I know what you feel like.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Losing friends is difficult whether they are online or not. The problem is peoples' lives change. I am currently struggling to keep an old friend. She talks to me out of pity I guess. She keeps on canceling our time together and it hurts. Not your situation I know.

Maybe she just needs some time. Do not banish her from your life. Make sure she has a way to contact you. If she doesn't how will you know if she really dislikes you?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Maybe she just needs some time. Do not banish her from your life. Make sure she has a way to contact you. If she doesn't how will you know if she really dislikes you?

She has my cell number and is still my friend on a psychology forum we met at. I will always check up on her to see if she has created new threads there just to keep tabs on her that way. That I know she won't mind. I just wont bug her by PM/IM or text anymore.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

That is all you can do. Now you have to wait and see what happens.

 

[Badjedidude]

I deleted a friend online.

Murderer! :O

((((Soph))))

 

[SophiaGrace]

I deleted a friend online.

Murderer! :O

((((Soph))))

Guess I'm going to have to go to jail now. YAY bars!

 

[coricopat]

I'm sorry Sophia, that sucks.