sex

[FoolOnTheHill]

why does sex sell? is it because the cheapest and most natural high one can get? or because its already coded in us to do this? we know we shouldn't go have sex with just everyone we see, because of the many repercussions i.e. std, not ready for parenthood, and emotional and mental damages that incurred from the stresses of bad relationships or empty relationships. I am no where close to a virgin and i speak from experience its not worth it to just go around having sex with strangers, its way better when you are in love, even if you break up later it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Ok so my question is how long do you heal from a string of bad decisions and relationships to start allowing yourself to love again?

most of the girls i know just want to have sex first, so i usually end up not even continuing conversation, really makes me mad the world is more so deficent.

 

[Badjedidude]

These girls you know probably think that having sex IS the only way to converse when in a relationship...hence the problem. Americans are oversexed from birth, continually bombarded with images and social scripts that tell them sex is the most important thing in life...

...and that's how we get these 13-yr old junior-high girls who look like 30-yr old street sluts. It's also how we get women who don't know how to operate in a mature relationship structure.

How long does it take to heal? I don't think anyone really has an answer--it's probably different for everyone. I think it's just about realizing that the past is the past. Every new day is a fresh start--that's how I try to look at it.

----Steve

 

[FoolOnTheHill]

thanks appreciate the feedback

 

[h i]

most of the girls i know just want to have sex first, so i usually end up not even continuing conversation, really makes me mad the world is more so deficent.

sheeeesh. wish i had your life.

america is actually very mild with sex. we tease, but were one of the few nations to control and educate on sexual practices, which puts more emphasis on it. we dont allow prostitution, in any state. we dont accept rape, in any form. we educate our children about sex, and have forms of information throughout life about sex. the television may want to push the boundaries because thats what the media does.

 

[EveWasFramed]

. we dont allow prostitution, in any state.

You forget Nevada. Prostitution, inside brothels, is legalized and heavily regulated.

 

[An archist]

. we dont allow prostitution, in any state.

You forget Nevada. Prostitution, inside brothels, is legalized and heavily regulated.

nag dang government regulation! Don't need no government burocrat telling me how many BJs are enough! Let the invisible hand of the market guide the prostitutes hands towards my gear!

 

[Coverage]

These girls you know probably think that having sex IS the only way to converse when in a relationship...hence the problem. Americans are oversexed from birth, continually bombarded with images and social scripts that tell them sex is the most important thing in life...

...and that's how we get these 13-yr old junior-high girls who look like 30-yr old street sluts. It's also how we get women who don't know how to operate in a mature relationship structure.

I know its typical to blame Americans for every wayward practice that society can offer, but if you take a look at other nations, most notably Japan, you will find that sex is no more underhyped or under-advertised there than it is in America. I agree that sex is almost engrained into peoples lifestyle from an early age, however it is something that is occuring worldwide. Giving high school kids condoms and teaching 6 year olds about sex and homosexuality does not help matters, but it is where our society is going at the present moment.

 

[Steel]

most of the girls i know just want to have sex first, so i usually end up not even continuing conversation, really makes me mad the world is more so deficent.

sheeeesh. wish i had your life.

america is actually very mild with sex. we tease, but were one of the few nations to control and educate on sexual practices, which puts more emphasis on it. we dont allow prostitution, in any state. we dont accept rape, in any form. we educate our children about sex, and have forms of information throughout life about sex. the television may want to push the boundaries because thats what the media does.

I wouldn't say America was one of the few nations to "control and educate on sexual practices". Indeed, the USA has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy amongst first world countries.

 

[Minus]

"...we dont allow prostitution, in any state."

I am not sure about that either. Currently Nevada has 28 legal brothels. It was just last month that Rhode Island made prostitution illegal again, though running a brothel in Rhode Island already was illegal.

 

[Twitchy]

"...we dont allow prostitution, in any state."

I am not sure about that either. Currently Nevada has 28 legal brothels. It was just last month that Rhode Island made prostitution illegal again, though running a brothel in Rhode Island already was illegal.

I knew there were a few, but I didn't realize there were 28! That's a lot of prostitutes in one place. I bet they fight. :/

...

 

[Badjedidude]

Heh and let's not forget the easily available, "illegal" brothels. Where I live, there are TONS of "massage parlors" that are fully technically legal...but everyone knows what goes on in there, even the police...they just don't do anything about it.

...and if you've ever been to another country, you know how different the European attitude is about sex. Americans completely focus on it--almost treating it as the driving force of their existence, even to the point that we (Americans) think that once a virgin has sex, he/she becomes a different person and joins the group of "those who have accomplished!" (You can't deny that many people think that non-virgins are somehow more intelligent or socially acceptable than virgins)

...Europeans don't have that schism to the same degree. They're generally less driven by sex. Oh, they enjoy it just as much and maybe even do it more...but it doesn't mean the same thing in their culture that it does in the U.S.

----Steve

 

[Wyrm]

In the US, sex is something that we aren't as open about as in Europe, for example. My opinion is that sex is all over American media because it's more repressed in our society than in European nations. It's going to come out and manifest itself in one way or another, and I'm not really a big fan of the very obnoxious way that sex is portrayed here.

To me, sex is a natural and neutral thing. It's not anything to be ashamed of (whether you're in a relationship with the person or not), but it isn't anything to brag about or put so much emphasis on either. Sex is part of our nature..... it's the only natural high that I can think of. Other animals only mate during a certain season, but for us, sex is a year-long, everyday thing.

I believe that the semi-taboo that we place on it here is the result of the Puritan values we inherited from the people who founded this country, as well as the Christian values that still influence our culture. Personally, I think that openness about sex and sex education is the way to go. Sex is hard-wired into our genes, whether we like it or not. That abstinence idea is a failure....... it doesn't work. People are going to have sex no matter what, so it's better for people to be knowledgeable and educated on these things in order to reduce and minimize std's and unwanted pregnancies.

Recently, I've changed from wanting a girlfriend to just wanting to have sex with different girls. It's better because I get to have sex with a variety of girls and I don't have to sacrifice the time and effort that a relationship requires. I've realized that a serious relationship is just something that happens...... it's just something that comes to you while you're living life. So, in the mean-time, I will just go after some poontang. I've always worn a condum btw, and, as we switch from abstinence education to sex eduation and openness about it, more people will use protection too.

 

[Twitchy]

So what have I learned from this discussion?

Sex is bad...very, very bad. Never do it...ever.

Also, that Nevada has a large prostitute population.

:/

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

i'm pretty sure there was a hindu deity with a necklace of severed knobs. wasn't there?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It takes as long as it takes. There's no gauge to recovery.
There's no gauge to anyone's love for anyone.
We all process life and experince life differently.
We all have different body chemistries.
So...comparing ourselves to others will only leave us with a sense
of guilt, failure or a mentally of there's something wrong with ourselves.
Our morals and values will also change depending our level of awarness.

I personally never got over my ex-wf and still love her very much.
It took me over 2 years of doing one night stands and strings of
relationships on the bebound to even tried to love again or have
sometype of a stable relationship. Even then, I still had very strong
feelings for my ex-wf...which was a challenge for that relationship
to move forward. Don't get me wrong...That relationship was more
healthy than any relationships I've been in at that piont in time of
my life. It lasted for 6 years and I have a lot more memories of good
times and experince than the bad times. It wasn't perfect but I made
a lot of progress. I tried to be the best partner that I could at that time.
She bascailly left me becuase I wasn't in love with her or had strong
feelings for her as my ex-wf.
After all these years...it took she and I having a heart to heart talk.
I still love her and care for her as a person as she dose me.

Even when it comes to my ex-wf. It took her reaching to me after all
these years and having a heart to heart talk so we both can heal.
Becuase we did't communicate and left everything unresolved when
we divorced.
For the longest time I thought she hated me and perhasps she was
very angery at me. Knowing that she still loves me and cares for
me had made all the difference in the world to me. There's peace
in my heart and mind today. I love her very much. No matter what
happens from this moment on , I can hold my head high. I don't
have al those guilt and shame I've been carrying around for years
anymore.

I don't feel guilty or am afraid of telling her I love her anymore...and it's okay.

I too don't think sex is a dirty thing. I also belive in just having 1 partner.
That's why I married my wife. She's the love of my life and I didn't
want to be with anyone else...but my life didn't turned out like that...

Maybe someday she and I can be together..If not, I belive there's
been healing and things getting resovled with my ex-wf that I can
truley form a healthy relationship with someone else. I rather have
a relationship with my Sweet heart of course. This is what I've always
wanted from the very start.

At the moment...I'm okay with being single. I don't feel the need to
go out and serch for love or another woman anymore.
I can't explain it...As I said, Knowing that my ex-wf loves me very much
I'm have peace of mind and kind of graceful about life today.
This is where am at today...who knows...maybe I'll change my mind tommorrow.

 

[!!!]

Americans are oversexed from birth, continually bombarded with images and social scripts that tell them sex is the most important thing in life...
----Steve

From an evolutionary standpoint, sex could very well be THE most important thing in our lives. We're only animals, after all.....whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. We are naturally "wired" to be obsessed with sex. And don't lie....you like it. haha

 

[FillyTheBish]

I have to admit, I have used escorts, since I broke up with my ex some months ago.

I have slept with girls who are more beautiful than any I have ever met normally.

I used to see sex as something special between two people, but since my last relationship, I know that is not the case, so I choose to sleep with women for money.

Some of women I've slept with are very nice too, they didn't rush me to get me finished and out the door. They were kind and considerate to my needs and insecurities.

I found something interesting the other day, what with all this stuff in the news lately of anti-prostitute groups trying to get the law to crack down on prostitution.

There is a collective of prostitutes who like to consider them selves more like health workers than sex workers, because they claim that they offer a service that can help men and women mentally as well as physically. I realy like this way of looking at the sex industry, and I can deffinately relate to the mental relief it offers in times of stress and loneliness.

They spoke of helping young men to lose their virginity, give service to men and women who are physically and mentally disabled. And then there are some men and women who don't even partake in sex, they just pay to have a pretty woman talk to them.