Shadow
Member
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2009
- Messages
- 7
- Reaction score
- 0
The last time I was in a relationship was over two years ago. I met her through my friends. I've had a few problems with depression in the past, but when I met her and when I was with her, all my problems were gone. I'd never felt so happy. Having someone to hold, to love, the feeling was one that I had never experienced seeing as she was my first and to this day only. I miss being able to cuddle, to share affection. I cannot remember the last time I even had a hug.
It was her who asked me out, and had she not we would have never been together. I have asked out countless girls in the past, and it seems I always get the same answers. "I want to stay friends", "You're like a brother", "You're not my type" and the ever popular "No". I've heard them all. Each time my self-esteem lowers further and further. Each time my heart is broken into even more pieces. The pain of knowing someone doesn't feel for you what you feel for them. If you were friends with the person, then you ruin the friendship. I vowed to never ask out anyone ever again. I am tired of the pain.
Right now I only have a few close friends, non of which are girls. I don't talk to them anymore. Every time I see a girl pass by, I can only wish that I had the courage to talk to her. Every time I think to myself, I wonder what she is like? It is like I am invisible, cursed to only witness other relationships.
I am currently in college with plans of dropping out to dedicate more time to my art. The problem is, other than to be with my few friends, I will stay home. College/School is the main place where relationships are born. If I am not in college, how will I ever meet anyone? College was my last chance to meet a girl, and I failed. There is nothing I can do now. My self-esteem is too low and there is no where I can socialize with women. Shall I remain alone forever? Or will God hear my prayers and bring someone into my life.
It was her who asked me out, and had she not we would have never been together. I have asked out countless girls in the past, and it seems I always get the same answers. "I want to stay friends", "You're like a brother", "You're not my type" and the ever popular "No". I've heard them all. Each time my self-esteem lowers further and further. Each time my heart is broken into even more pieces. The pain of knowing someone doesn't feel for you what you feel for them. If you were friends with the person, then you ruin the friendship. I vowed to never ask out anyone ever again. I am tired of the pain.
Right now I only have a few close friends, non of which are girls. I don't talk to them anymore. Every time I see a girl pass by, I can only wish that I had the courage to talk to her. Every time I think to myself, I wonder what she is like? It is like I am invisible, cursed to only witness other relationships.
I am currently in college with plans of dropping out to dedicate more time to my art. The problem is, other than to be with my few friends, I will stay home. College/School is the main place where relationships are born. If I am not in college, how will I ever meet anyone? College was my last chance to meet a girl, and I failed. There is nothing I can do now. My self-esteem is too low and there is no where I can socialize with women. Shall I remain alone forever? Or will God hear my prayers and bring someone into my life.