She's beautiful and she ignores me

[OhGodImLonely]

Hello guys. There is this girl at work which, since I 've met her there, made such a strong impression on me. She is so beautiful. And, contrary to what some people should expect, she is not dumb at all. She's quite wise and calm. And very smiling. That kills me. The more she smiles and talk wise the more I seem to be falling for her.
She's actually 3 years older than me. But I wouldn't give a **** if she were as interested in me as I am in her. I've been carrying this stereotype for so long that a man should marry a girl younger than him for women grow old faster than men. That's stupid... (and actually I'm not against the idea of marrying her if I had the opportunity).
I don't know how it happened but at the beginning (3 weeks ago) we seemed to get along quite well. We would eat together at lunchtime almost everyday. And at the end of every shift I would ask her out for a drink and she never refused.
But then I got so confident that I told her how I felt about her, that I wanted to go further into the relationship. I'm a moron. I've been too fast. The moment I said this she never was the same again. Her attitude changed. The day after she avoided me. And now the time has passed and she barely speaks to me. We only say hello and good-by as if we had never had that quality time that we had at the beginning of our "relationship".
So every time I go to work I know I'll be seeing her and she won't even look at me sometimes... I wish I had never told her I was interested in her. Now the feeling grows up but the relationship is dead. She just ignores me. And it makes me feel stupid. I'm trying not to think of her but the moment I see her or hear her voice it creates something in me that I can't control. I'm just falling in love I suppose.
It just adds to the feeling of loneliness, the feeling that I am definitely helplessly not good at relationships...


Dammit...

 

[5pt7art]

i cant really give much advice since i lack in that area....but maybe try talking to her to see whats up...if she doeant want anything to do with you afterwards...well atleast you tried

 

[Veilside05]

Well there are bound to be scenerios where you like her and she dont share the same kind of affection towards you. Just pick yourself up and move on. The right one will come along. I think she is pretty nice as she chose to show her that she is not interested the moment you confessed your feelings. As least, you can move on straight away.

I have a friend who was in the same shoes as you. Girl did not like her but did not say and continue to "use" him for dinners and treats etc. I told my friend he should let go and he did not. End up heartbroken after a year of being used by the girl before she totally cut him off.

I would suggest that if you still want the "FRIENDSHIP", just be honest with her and tell her you understand her position and that you have also accepted it but you dont want to lose a good friend like her and hope that things can still be like in the past. But you must not harbour any more feelings that this friendship might one day become a relationship. In this way, you will then not hurt yourself.

 

[OhGodImLonely]

I think she is pretty nice as she chose to show her that she is not interested the moment you confessed your feelings. As least, you can move on straight away.

But you must not harbour any more feelings that this friendship might one day become a relationship. In this way, you will then not hurt yourself.

I think you might be right. I've had this same idea myself when thinking the situation over. She might have shut me down because she did not want to let me believe I had and chance with her.

Concerning keeping the friendship going I don't think I can handle that. As I said it only takes me to have her image in front me or hear voice to get all worked up.

I think she's the kind of woman with whom friendship won't be an option. I don't want her to be my friend. I want her to be my wife. I know that sounds silly.

---

well atleast you tried

Yes that's the part I like with this story. At least I tried. If I would not have tried I would still think she is into me when she is not. But I beat myself up for having been too fast revealing my feelings toward her. She must have thought I'm a kid or something...

 

[Gutted]

Well done for trying. But it doesn't look like it will work out. Luckily, nothing too dramatic happened between you. If you do still want to be friends with her and you think you wont feel worse and care for her more, it might be good to let her know. That way, she wont feel awkward around you. Otherwise, you're better off keeping a distance for your own sake.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Move on.

 

[Bill Compton]

Move on.

life is indeed 'a *****"! i feel for you.

 

[OhGodImLonely]

Thanks for all the replies guys. That's really appreciated