Similar experience? What helped you?

[Rolo]

hey all,

I was just wondering if anyone had been in a similar position as me, and if so, what did they do about it if anything..

So, Im 20, Ive never really been that popular or fit in with people my age. I dont exactly know what the reason is though! In high school i was pretty big, so im guessing that made me the undesirable person to be seen with, but now im nothing like i used to be but have the same problems. I have like one good friend, just so turns out im in a relationship with them. Thats it. Ive been at college 4 years-never really made friends. Those i did get along with just stopped talking to me for an unknown reason. Im pretty introverted, but i do make an effort to speak to people, but it goes nowhere, its like im thinking im saying one thing, but im saying something different out loud.

Ive tried makingfriends online-dont really work too well either. Im more nervous about everything going wrong online than in person. I used to have a few long term pen pals but all of them ended either when they stopped replying or when they said that i was mean to them or something..i never meant to be if i did! I didnt see it! It happens a bit- people go in moods and i dont have a clue what ive done to cause it. Ive tried joining clubs, volunteering, speaking to strangers in the library, but it either doesnt work or i speak a bit longer then they stop talking.

Anyway, im starting uni in september, il be living in halls. My main worry is that i wont make any friends- i dont drink, smoke, i hate clubs and bars-i hate crowds, i dont like going on hights out or anything like that. I literally will be messed if i dont fit in there. I just dont know what to do though. I have now finished college-so i have nothing to do until september and i only work one day a week (works a bit slow-an no friends there-its just me and 1 30yr old woman-we have a laugh but thats it) so im going to be screwed and go insane-dont feel like spending the next few months in my room!

Has anyone had a similar experience? is there anything you did to break out of it?

btw soz for the essay

 

[Fvantom]

That sounds A LOT like me, except I havent been to college yet, Im starting in the fall

Id say find a hobby (and I mean a real one, not stamp collecting XD) learn how to play an instrument and meet some musicians, start playing airsoft (or paintball) and hit up a field regularly, youll definitely meet people that way.

You say youre in a relationship, at least youve got something, does your girlfriend hang out with anyone? Try meeting people through her

If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to PM me

 

[Rolo]

hate to sounds like a ungrateful pain, but ive tried stuff like that a few times...im like the anti-christ or something lmao

used to go paintballing-a few people that used to be friends that vanished like the rest we all had our own team, guess they just got pissed at how gud i was
Music-well the other half is a music student-ive tried a few things and nothing really appeals to me-wont do no favours doing something taht i dont like i guess..and the friends-we dont exactly mix well! (im not into theatre, i dont dance and our social backgrounds are pretty different-its not like i aint tried with em tho)

hit up field? is that like football or something mehh, i used to practice krav maga-good bucnh of people people never really stayed long...seems like everything doesnt seem to work!

 

[Fvantom]

Haha its all good, when I said hit up a field, I was still talking about airsoft, if theres an airsoft field near you, go there every week or so and youll meet people that way

Airsofts alot different than paintball, they focus more on military simulation and the people that play are usually pretty cool, if you havent tried it, I strongly suggest you find a field and play a few times, its really fun and theres often a strong community.

 

[Catcher]

While I've never been accused of being mean to anyone (not to my face anyways), I do have a hard time getting on the same vibe as people around me. I can pretty much get along with anyone, but that personal connection just isn't there and they do tend to wander out of my life just as quickly as they came. It's frustrating!

Really, you just haven't found the right people who you can connect with. People who get you with no fuss or muss. You probably have a really unique or weird personality (not saying that in a mean way. I like weird people ) that not everyone meshes with. You'll find someone sooner or later who you can really click with and it will be worth all the wait and let downs.

I think college is a good place to find other unique people. I hope you find luck there!

 

[Rolo]

"Haha its all good, when I said hit up a field, I was still talking about airsoft, if theres an airsoft field near you, go there every week or so and youll meet people that way

Airsofts alot different than paintball, they focus more on military simulation and the people that play are usually pretty cool, if you havent tried it, I strongly suggest you find a field and play a few times, its really fun and theres often a strong community. "

Dont you need a team for that though? I mean, just turning up on your own without a gun cant look too good-i have real rifle, but i think thats against the rules Besides, i dnt have the money to do anything like that, and i dont have a car so traveling will be a bit hard....I sound like im just making excuses now

While I've never been accused of being mean to anyone (not to my face anyways), I do have a hard time getting on the same vibe as people around me. I can pretty much get along with anyone, but that personal connection just isn't there and they do tend to wander out of my life just as quickly as they came. It's frustrating!

Really, you just haven't found the right people who you can connect with. People who get you with no fuss or muss. You probably have a really unique or weird personality (not saying that in a mean way. I like weird people Big Grin) that not everyone meshes with. You'll find someone sooner or later who you can really click with and it will be worth all the wait and let downs.

I think college is a good place to find other unique people. I hope you find luck there!

That sounds similar, its like i dont connect with them at all-i can speak to people-my job is all about talking basically to people, but when it comes to trying to make friends-pfft it dont happen.
Yeh maybe im just weird, or unique, both sound good haha its just annoying when the only person you connect with is yourself!
College was a complete failure when it comes to making friends-4 years an not one person i call a freind. Uni is next, maybe il find someone there-i mean the course im going to do is pretty specialist-so on the job front we may be similar, its just the rest of the personality which is the problem!

 

[Fvantom]

Im not sure how it is where you are, but most fields from what Ive seen are public, you go and therell be a bunch of people there and theyll split everyone into teams.

 

[Rolo]

I think theyd do that here, but i dont know...lol i dont have the money or transport anway, so i will have to strike that off my list for now i guess!

 

[Alaric]

John Candy was pretty big... He did okay... Chris Farley... He was loved by anyone who encountered him... Queen Latifah... Big list of "big" people who did just fine. My best friend for years was a very big guy. He stood 6' 8" and weighed in at almost 400 pounds. He was a big big guy. I liked him because he was just "him." He never tried to be anyone else, just himself. Watch America's Got Talent. No one is interested in how big or small people are, just what they have to offer. The best thing you own in this world is you. Your heart to care, and your ears to listen are the biggest things you own. Use them well and use them wisely, and life will work out very nicely.

When you feel you might let yourself down, listen to what the others around you have to say first. Work on making them feel big when they are around you. The important kind of big. You'll be surprised what you have been missing out on. And write your daily feelings down. It's hard to get into, but it will soon become a habit. A good one.