So lonely

[kimberleykat]

I have started to feel all lonely again.
My anxiety strikes have become very intimidating but I am constantly sorting out ways to sooth myself.
I want to go out with friends but I don't have any in real life.
So I end up hiding behind the screen all day, talking to peeps I know from the forums.
I wish they were in my real life so that we could hang out some time...
But even if that was possible, I can't seem to handle my anxieties well enough to keep a good mood with friends.
I just want some one who can trully understand my feelings, some one who won't judge me with the rough experience of his/her own., some one who can make me feel safe even we can't seem to keep a endlessly going conversation..
Is there anyone on the forums that can relate to my feelings?
I feel so much overwhelmed...even if I know what I want, I know my goals, I know how I am going to reach them, and even if I do have something nice to think about or look forward to.
Pls pm me if anyone who happens to read this messed up thread want to talk. I am a very good listener.

 

[HermesReborn]

Easy Tiger (or Tigress)
Most of the problem is only in your head, and you have control over it.
Problem is you've already told yourself that you don't.
I can't help you, no one can help you.
We can only help you, help yourself.

You have this dreamed up notion of some savior, that is your emotional doppeldagger. Dunno if thats realistic.
I think everyone in this forum is pretty much in the same boat.
I can love you until the stars go blue, but none of that will mean a thing once you stop judging yourself.
Just go easy.
Take a deep breath, and enjoy for a moment the swift wind cascade inside your lungs.
Let that breath trigger your serotonin levels to elevate a bit.

So lets start at the top.
Why do you think you don't have any friends in real life?
What type of anxiety do you feel with face to face confrontation?

 

[kimberleykat]

Thanks...
That's the only reply I got...

 

[Rigel]

I suppose everyone feels that way more or less, cuz that's why they hang out on ALL. that's not to trivialize your feelings, just saying most ppl here can relate.

I also had anxiety attacks in highschool. They have subsided after I graduated, but I still get pretty anxious around other people.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I just want some one who can trully understand my feelings, some one who won't judge me with the rough experience of his/her own.

I'm confused what you mean by this. Finding someone who truly understands your feelings will have been in your situation before, and I doubt they would judge you. The ones who'd judge you are the ones who won't understand how you feel. The person that does understand you will share their experiences, its how we as human beings try to help one another. By the knowledge and life experience we gain.

So I end up hiding behind the screen all day, talking to peeps I know from the forums.
I wish they were in my real life so that we could hang out some time...
But even if that was possible, I can't seem to handle my anxieties well enough to keep a good mood with friends.

Welcome to the club, a lot of us do the same thing. I'm with you here, sometimes my anxieties get the better of me too. You said you've been sorting out ways to sooth yourself, just keep practicing that, it isn't easy but if you keep at it in time you'll get better.

Is there anyone on the forums that can relate to my feelings?
I feel so much overwhelmed...even if I know what I want, I know my goals, I know how I am going to reach them, and even if I do have something nice to think about or look forward to.

Yep, I feel that way a lot, mostly because there is so much I need/want to do. I have a list of things to get done at work, I have a list of things I want to do in my personal life to get done, and sometimes they intersect. I'm looking forward to the holidays and getting some time off, though I don't know if I'll get any vacation time because I don't have the staff to cover for me this year. Which has bummed me out cause I really need that week off. But to get to that I have to get through my bosses company Christmas party next week, that I have to go to alone this year. I know once I get past it I'll be better. I hate social gatherings, really, really hate them, and this year its at a country club so it'll be a buffet, which is even worse. If this freaking snow would stop I could get some of my other work done instead of having to plow the parking lot every couple of hours (which is a lot of fun to do actually, I get all suited up like a ninja). Sometimes though when I go home I just sit there and veg watching the tube or IMing with my brother, getting nothing done. I should though cause I know it'll make me happy to complete my projects but I just don't have the drive.

You're not alone.

 

[Callie]

Right there with you, Kimma

I have one friend in my real life, but with our schedules, it's hard to get together often. I'm always open to talk and I'm usually online

 

[kimberleykat]

I'm confused what you mean by this. Finding someone who truly understands your feelings will have been in your situation before, and I doubt they would judge you. The ones who'd judge you are the ones who won't understand how you feel. The person that does understand you will share their experiences, its how we as human beings try to help one another. By the knowledge and life experience we gain.

Maybe it's just cuz my head is all messed up so it messed up my language too lol.
Yeah I know what you mean and thats sorta what I meant.
Thanks for replying at my thread.

I guess I will never find the one who understands me to the extent that I need him/her to.: (

 

[SophiaGrace]

The question you need to ask yourself is: What would make me not feel lonely? Write it down in a response.

 

[HappyYogi]

Kimberly, I can relate!

When I was reading your post I thought how great it was how you clearly expressed how you feel. You described in detail what it is you want and why it's hard for you.

This is good. Many (including myself) didn't have such awareness as you do. I am assuming you are young? I am over 40 and when I was young, I was lonely but couldn't describe it as you do.

I have good news for you. First, knowing what the problem is and what you want will take you there faster. Just keep focusing on the good feelings you want to have and how you want to be more comfortable being around others.

Second...I promise you things get better and you can change! I know I did. When I was in my early twenties I swear I was almost mute! I was also melancholic. Now I am a different person. I know how to be warm, friendly and even initiate. I also am not melancholic even though I care about the same issues I did when I was younger.

I changed just by reading inspirational stuff and trying to help myself with classes and anything healing/positive in nature. There is a lot out there to help you. Oh, affirmations and New Thought helped me a lot. It really is true we become what we think about or who we declare we are. Start declaring who you want to be now even though you are not there yet. I promise you it will help change you.

I am still anxious with "friends" though, although my anxiety is much less. What I do is simply limit visits. I can't do long long visits. I just can't and am not comfortable. But I can do shorter social visits and still do it.

So what I suggest for you is to work up and practice. Try smaller socializing and work up. It's about skills and practice. Affirm you are OK just as you are. Affirm that you are comfortable with yourself and relaxed.

Don't give up. This life is about spiritual growth. This is your job to fix your problem! It's you duty! You can do it.

I have started to feel all lonely again.
My anxiety strikes have become very intimidating but I am constantly sorting out ways to sooth myself.
I want to go out with friends but I don't have any in real life.
So I end up hiding behind the screen all day, talking to peeps I know from the forums.
I wish they were in my real life so that we could hang out some time...
But even if that was possible, I can't seem to handle my anxieties well enough to keep a good mood with friends.
I just want some one who can trully understand my feelings, some one who won't judge me with the rough experience of his/her own., some one who can make me feel safe even we can't seem to keep a endlessly going conversation..
Is there anyone on the forums that can relate to my feelings?
I feel so much overwhelmed...even if I know what I want, I know my goals, I know how I am going to reach them, and even if I do have something nice to think about or look forward to.
Pls pm me if anyone who happens to read this messed up thread want to talk. I am a very good listener.