So my relationship is probly doomed.

[Maisalwithout]

I got a really unusual situation (then again, maybe not so unusual). I've been with my girlfriend (let's call her L) since early August year. We got along great, went places, and had good times together.

This is the problem with her, the day after we had a date and I just wanted to talk to her, I tried to call L. Dialed the number, got her voicemail. I left a message, but she didn't call me back. I tried calling two days later, same thing. I waited another week, then sent her an e-mail; she didn't write back. Sent another e-mail a week later, still didn't get a response. At that point, I assumed that was L's way of breaking up with me, so I thought: "oh well, if she's gone, she's gone". Obviously, I was a little upset, but you can't change the way someone feels about you.

When she did contact me after a while, she said it was because she lost her phone and was dealing with some problems...well the tone of writing was quite matter-of-fact and unapologetic, acting like nothing is wrong. This raises a question. How is it possible to lose someone's number and internet access? Even if she didn't have a computer at home, she could have used one at her work or the library. And real problem is that this happens more often than I expected. Relationships are about reliability and disappearing without notice is simply wrong. Now I'm considering breaking up with L.

What do you guys think I should do about this? I mean, I know what she did was not right but we still had some great times together and I feel she's the first one who truly in her heart appreciated me for who I am. What should I do? Any advice/input will help.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I understand how you feel. It's kind of odd to me that's she's unapologetic towards the whole situation. Maybe should did lose her phone and internet access, but it's the way she acted towards you once you did get in touch. To me, that's not someone who really cares. But then again, maybe she thinks that you're the type of person who will stand by her side no matter what, and she thought that it didn't even matter. And that you're in contact now, and that's what counts.

 

[samba101]

I'd lose her as fast as possible if I was you, that is such a lame excuse and to leave you waiting so long after you left a message on the phone. That was down right rude of her to begin with, sure you had some good times but now you're seeing her true colours shine through. Your better of with someone who want's and knows how to communicate effectively, rather than remembering you when they want to.

 

[Maisalwithout]

Hmm yeah, thats why I'm torn apart.
Sometimes she disappears and has adequate reasons,
and she really made me truly happy like I haven't been in a long time.
However, the unpredictability is throwing me off a lot.
I'll see what I can do, thx guys..

 

[Darkener]

be direct with her. Tell her exactly the concerns you brought up here. Tell her you want some consistency so you might be able to build up some trust. If it's something that doesn't seem fixable it should be dropped as soon as possible.

 

[Maisalwithout]

Ha, turns out my gf was a real *****.
I followed you guys' advice, and I tried to convince her that she needs to be there for me.
But she thinks its my fault because I should trust her even if she's gone for days at times.
I lost about 88% of all the feelings I had for her right then,
it hurt me to break up with her, but I knew it needed to be done, so I did.
Thx for the all of the advice guys, its actually kind of a relief to be done with her.
I'm probly gonna miss her still for some time, but I'm not regretting what I did at all.
Peace out,

 

[SighX99]

When she did contact me after a while, she said it was because she lost her phone and was dealing with some problems...well the tone of writing was quite matter-of-fact and unapologetic, acting like nothing is wrong. This raises a question. How is it possible to lose someone's number and internet access? Even if she didn't have a computer at home, she could have used one at her work or the library.
What do you guys think I should do about this? I mean, I know what she did was not right but we still had some great times together and I feel she's the first one who truly in her heart appreciated me for who I am. What should I do? Any advice/input will help.

you kno, the same fukin bullshit happened to me... my biggest regret is not breaking up with her at the time....now it haunts me forever.