So now im crying

[MrsMystery]

all this while i didnt get upset, I think i felt upset, but i dont know how much i really 'feel' any more. But now yeah im crying, im mad im angry and whats the worst im just so **** frustrated. I want to smash something i want to hit something but I cant and I wont.
So its day three of captivity, he told me hes coming soon, its now 1pm ive been awake since 6 am, i dont have electricity, i dont have a tv i dont have a radio and when my laptop battery dies in an hour i wont have any **** thing to occupy myself with. What do i do? Ive read every book i brought with me
I cant even call him to yell because i dont have any money on my fone, and i dont even have any money to go buy some money for my fone, and even if i did have money to go buy money for my fone I cant leave this place without fearing for my existence. Apparently. But should i really care. Because thats what this is its existing but it not living. I cant take it any more. I know how those polar bears in the zoo feel as they go slowly crazy. Now i know those things are torture. I feel for dumb animals like them and me.

 

[callista_05]

hey...just a little confused...

who is 'he'?

and

'where' are you exactly ?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm sorry you're going throught that MrsMystery.

I hope you gotten some sleep. Please try to talk to someones as soon as you can.
It's okay to feel what you feel given the circumstance.

Maybe do little changes. Try to go outside during the day.
Do you have niegbours...maybe you can just talk too ?

 

[Satyr]

all this while i didnt get upset, I think i felt upset, but i dont know how much i really 'feel' any more. But now yeah im crying, im mad im angry and whats the worst im just so **** frustrated. I want to smash something i want to hit something but I cant and I wont.

There's something I've got in the habit of doing over the years that has allowed me to get through just about anything. I tell myself:

"Eventually this will be over. Things will get better."

I keep chanting that under my breath, over and over like a mantra. Eventually it is over and things DO get better. It might take longer than you want it to but it does happen. Maybe this doesn't work for everyone, but for me it helps keep negative thoughts at bay.

If you don't like the wording, you can change it to whatever you need it to be.

 

[Naleena]

Geez, I didn't know it was that bad. Ya know what I would do? And this is just me. I'd probabley pack my bags and head home. Better to wait for your husband with the comforts of home and family than to wait there- where ever you are. Either way, your waiting. You can always call him in his free time. I'd go home. I'm surprised your husband let you go to such a place. Take care of you.

 

[Phaedron]

If you need to be very alone to survive I can tell you many things about living in your head, being creative, and using your imagination. It can be a fulfilling experience. All experience is ultimately processed in the brain.

It is merely a different kind of environment to adapt to.

 

[Unacceptance]

Go recharge your battery by plugging it in a public outlet somewhere.

 

[Steel]

Wow.. to me it sounds like you are more like a prisoner.

Clearly something has to change.. you can't go on like this.

TC of yourself...

 

[MrsMystery]

I feel better, i cried i got angry i think i need to take up some martial arts, I used to be creative but you know what they say use it or lose it, i didnt use it now its gone. I want to go home, but i dont want to go home i just want to go away, far away. If only i knew how to sail maybe id get a house boat or something. Its the frustration that kills me, the wasting time, the doing nothing, the not being able to do anything, goddam drives me mad.

Psht i should get over it, in the grand scheme of things my problems are so tiny, isnt it funny how small honeysuckle gets you down and you see some people who go through hell but they still keep on smiling.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yeah....let it all out don't keep it in....don't hurt yourself or destroy your belongings...
But let it out.
Anger is a natural emotion...it's okay to feel angery.
if you surpress your anger it will trun into depression.

You might feel down after the release...sad or blues maybe...but you won't be a walking time bomb.
it's like letting air out of a balloon...it's okay. The sadness or blues will pass....don't freakout.
Over all you'll think clearer and feel better. Then you'll make better dicisions and not react as much.
You'll be more stable.

Then maybe you can take baby steps to improve your current situation.

drastic change can also be very stressful...so easy dose it.

Talk to another human being face to face in person if you can.
It's like straving children...so you can't feed them as you would usually feed a non-straving kid.
You 'll kill the kid if you do....just a little bit at a time.

You need healing from the isolation or cabin fever.
Try to go outside everyday...to open space...it helped me a lot to clear my mind.

I kind of isolated myself from the world for like 6 months a while back.
It's only been less than 3 months since i started reaching out to other people.
I feel much improvement...it was crazy for a little while becuase i would only go outside for
a minute...then run back inside the house.

Just within the past month I forced myself to go outside and ride my bike everyday.
I can ride 10 miles now. At first, I'd just go around the block then haul ass home.

Since I've gone back to work within a week...I feel so much better already. i don't feel
stuck or as fustrated anymore. I feel like I'm breathing again.
I even started playing my guitar again...it's been like a year since I played my guitar.