PlayingSolo said:UPDATE:
Well its been quite a few weeks since I made this thread. A bit has happened. I'll explain if anyone cares to listen. I'm going to assume you've read the first post I made so I don't have to repeat myself.
I started visiting her store once a week on the days I knew she'd be there. I think I did this 4-5 times and pretty sure I saw her each time. The last of the two were the most impacting though I think.
The first one I actually got to talk to her. Probably the first real conversation I had with her in a long time, even though it probably only lasted about a minute. I'll spare the details, but some important things to note was that when we first made eye contact, she quickly looked away (i thought she had noticed me before this, but based on her reaction I guess not). Besides that, I learned she actually works two jobs and this was (i guess) more of a side job for her. Despite not asking her out or anything, this made me feel pretty good that I actually had a conversation with her.
The last time I went in there (last week), nothing of great importance happened, but she did ring me out. I was happy I got to see and briefly talk with her, and that was that.
But last night she came into my store. And when I was least expecting it. I hadn't seen her work on a Sunday in quite a long time. She wasn't wearing her normal work clothes though, so I knew she wasn't working that night. She was wearing normal street clothes, and it was the first time I'd seen her in such. She was beautiful. My heart stopped when I saw her, even though she didn't initially look at me. I was shocked that she actually came into my store on her day off.
Anyway, she didn't take long to get what she needed and walk up to the counter. We both greeted each other and then there was a slight moment of awkward silence. She made a quick smalltalk statement to ease the tension (i guess) and then told me the worst news I've heard in a long time: she was quitting her job next door. I was so anxious that my brain didn't really fully process what that meant at the time. We talked about that for a few seconds and then she left (there was a guy behind him so she couldn't really stay and talk).
It's pretty obvious that she only stopped by that night specifically to tell me she was quitting. I'm pretty devastated over this. Partly because I may not ever get to see her again, which hurts pretty bad in and of itself. But also because she stopped by just to tell me that. Which tells me that she really does like me and possibly may be trying to say "look, this is your last chance, make a move". And that hurts 10 times more. The one time I meet a girl I like, and she actually likes me back, and I feel like we're getting torn apart.
My last hope is that her work requires some kind of 1-2 week notice before someone can quit. Which hopefully means I'll still get to see her this week. But I'm really not sure about that. Like I said, I can only hope. I'm really scared I'll never see her again and that I blew my chances with her. I also had the thought that maybe, since she came to tell me she was leaving, she may come to see me from time to time on her own accord. But I can't really count on that.
Like I said I'm pretty devastated over this whole thing. I can't stop thinking about all of it. One time I heard someone equate the words "lost opportunity" with social anxiety. That's pretty much what I'm feeling now. I feel like I have a deep connection with this girl, despite knowing hardly anything about her. I feel like she's the only one that would really understand me, and that I might understand her pretty well too. It's kind of weird now that I'm thinking about it. It seems strange of how much this is affecting me. Like I said, I hardly know this girl.
I'm mostly just venting... Thanks for reading
get her mobile number, say you want to stay in touch. And after a few weeks ask her for a coffee.
What have you got to lose ?
