Social anxiety can be really draining.

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Okay, so I rarely speak to anybody. When I do it's normal just a matter of fact, quick conversation. But, today one of the nicer neighbors stopped me and wanted to talk. They ask me if I killed all the neighborhood dogs and the stereo guy because it's so quite. I laughed and gave them the quick back story. I thought the conversation was done. But, they kept talking. They went on and on about how all the noise has been bothering them. I asked why they never did anything about it. They said they were concerned about retaliation. Anyway, they kept talking and I would say something sometimes. About 40 minutes went by and I said okay, I've got to go, bye.

But, then I felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow, digust, shame, stress, and dread. I was totally exhausted. I felt / still feel like I want to cry. But, it doesn't make sense because it was actually a positive conversation. The person thanked me for doing what I did. But, yet, just conversing with another person made me feel physically and mentally drained. This is common for me now. I'm okay with a couple minute converstation and that's about it. Any more then that and I get all kinds of weird feelings.

I had to stop working, put everything away, and go inside. I'm fighting right now not to pass out from exhaustion.

I'm curious if others experience this. Does it continue to get worse the more I stay isolated from others? I really don't want to talk to other people. But, I do get lonely feelings sometimes. So, my brain tells me I should go ahead and talk to others. But, when I do, good or bad, it knocks me on my ass.
 

Galen

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It can work differently for different people as you probably already know. For some it's easier to chat with someone they kind of know as opposed to a total stranger. Also, the environment you're in. By this I mean for example, it was easier for me to talk to others during the course of my work than outside of it. This was in spite of communication being an important part of my job (before I quit haha).

The way I see it though, the more isolated you become, the worse it can get because it means that any interaction takes you more out of comfort zone as you're exposing yourself to an unfamiliar environment. So maybe talking to others for incremental lengths of time may help to deal with this?

 

Forgottendanfan

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Absolutely. I've been a "victim" of social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Everyone (including me I suppose) just assumed it was teenage awkwardness at first, but I'm nearly 35 now and I find social interactions more difficult than ever. I've come to terms with the fact that this is a battle I don't see myself winning - all I can do is try to work through it to the best of my ability, taking things day by day. Having said that, I do get envious of people who are able to have normal, natural, flowing interactions with fellow members of the human race. It would feel like a luxury to me to be "normal" in that sense. The strange thing is, I've no problem sticking up for myself when I feel I'm being wronged or mistreated. It's normal, positive interactions with people I tend to have the problems with.
 
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The strange thing is, I've no problem sticking up for myself when I feel I'm being wronged or mistreated. It's normal, positive interactions with people I tend to have the problems with.
Yeah, I can be pleasant and appear normal for a few minutes. But, if I'm in angry mode I can keep it up for awhile, become super aggressive, and put people in their place. However, I'm still extremely exhausted afterwards.
 
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It can work differently for different people as you probably already know. For some it's easier to chat with someone they kind of know as opposed to a total stranger. Also, the environment you're in. By this I mean for example, it was easier for me to talk to others during the course of my work than outside of it. This was in spite of communication being an important part of my job (before I quit haha).

The way I see it though, the more isolated you become, the worse it can get because it means that any interaction takes you more out of comfort zone as you're exposing yourself to an unfamiliar environment. So maybe talking to others for incremental lengths of time may help to deal with this?
Well, it sucked before. But, it has continually gotten worse. It's like torture now. But, hell, even 20 years ago, I would feel bad after having a long conversation with anybody about anything. I can't imagine more conversations would help.
 
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I just feel like I no longer want to speak or hear sounds of any kind any more. It's all so overwhelming to me. I just want to use telepathy. I know I can send thoughts to others. I just haven't found anybody that can receive them yet. Ha! ha!
 

Tryingtosurvive

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As a child I was very, very, very shy. But when I got into my teenager years I was less of a pussy and started to interact with people. But when I developed anxiety, mixed with how people changed etc I now only talk to people I want to talk with. So if someone I dislike wants to chat in real life I'll try to leave asap, even if I look rude doing it I'll do it. But if it's someone I enjoy conversing with I'll happily talk to them. It's far easier for me and less stressful.
 

Galen

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I just feel like I no longer want to speak or hear sounds of any kind any more. It's all so overwhelming to me. I just want to use telepathy. I know I can send thoughts to others. I just haven't found anybody that can receive them yet. Ha! ha!

What you seek is what's known as a neuro-psychic-synaptic link. I was working on such a thing during my Uni days as one of my many projects. It got binned on account of the number of folk who received messages from me telling them to f##k of right away from me.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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That sounds like the depression with anxiety at the same time cycle.
Where when you're depressed your emotions are seemingly flattened, limited in their expanse, but with anxiety, panic ensues and your emotions want to expand.

The two can indeed happen at the same time and yes, it's Hell when it does.
That's why Manic Depressive breaks happen, which is when you have a shitload of feelings darting around all over the place, but within a limited spectrum that doesn't actually align correctly because of your depression.

"WARNING: Contents under pressure" is very **** relatable in that state.
 

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I don't think I have anxiety of any sort, but I do know that it can be suffocating to talk to someone. It's not the person, and it's not about what is being talked about. I can't really explain how I feel sometimes about it myself, other than just being exhausted over it. And I get it - most people want to talk. Humans are typically very social beings. But for those of us that just don't care for it, it's absolutely suffocating for anyone to be in our space.
 

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I don't think I've ever felt that way, maybe because I've always had to talk to complete strangers whether I want to or not. Sometimes they can be draining depending on the situation, like if I have to talk to a customer that just doesn't seem to understand anything, or ones that want to straight out lie to you but you still have to be polite to them. It is worse when someone wants to go on about the crap in their lives, I'm at work, I'm not a bartender, not a therapist, or their parent. Those people can just suck the energy right out of you.

When I have to talk to nice polite people, no matter the situation, like the type of people who don't just decide they want to **** on you to be a bully or just to get their rocks off, the good people can kind of boost you up. I find positive experiences are the best, even if it is a complete stranger. I never walk up to a stranger or neighbour on my own and strike up a conversation, that I can't do. I'll be polite and wave to them or say hi but that's about it.
 

Forgottendanfan

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As a child I was very, very, very shy. But when I got into my teenager years I was less of a pussy and started to interact with people. But when I developed anxiety, mixed with how people changed etc I now only talk to people I want to talk with. So if someone I dislike wants to chat in real life I'll try to leave asap, even if I look rude doing it I'll do it. But if it's someone I enjoy conversing with I'll happily talk to them. It's far easier for me and less stressful.

With all the due respect in the world, I don't think equating shyness with being a "pussy" is what's needed here.
 

Claudia1794

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Until I went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack I had never had an issue with "anxiety". People have always been exhausting to me but I think, for me, its because I tend to to do and say things that people don't like and always filtering and trying to read how to be is what is exhausting. My family and people that know me, I'm good because I don't have to fool with what is and what isn't ok. I was just saying g the other day that people will just try to start up conversations and if I'm by myself I'm more likely to say what I think and walk away but if my son is anywhere in earshot oh he's right on top of it. Its actually funny because he tells me to behave when we are out in public together. No one likes to hear this but its the truth, unless you need something from a person there is no need to fool with them. That's one thing Ive discovered I like about this online deal. I can say what I want without being caught up in a conversation I don't want to have. That and I don't have to hear anyone or see the weird things people do when they are talking.
 
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Until I went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack I had never had an issue with "anxiety". People have always been exhausting to me but I think, for me, its because I tend to to do and say things that people don't like and always filtering and trying to read how to be is what is exhausting. My family and people that know me, I'm good because I don't have to fool with what is and what isn't ok. I was just saying g the other day that people will just try to start up conversations and if I'm by myself I'm more likely to say what I think and walk away but if my son is anywhere in earshot oh he's right on top of it. Its actually funny because he tells me to behave when we are out in public together. No one likes to hear this but its the truth, unless you need something from a person there is no need to fool with them. That's one thing Ive discovered I like about this online deal. I can say what I want without being caught up in a conversation I don't want to have. That and I don't have to hear anyone or see the weird things people do when they are talking.
I had a friend a long time ago that would get panic attacks, drive to the hospital, and wait in the waiting room until they went away. I told him he must be scared to die, which I believed to be the reason he was having panic attacks.

I've felt like I was having a heart attack many times including numb arm, pain in my chest / back, light headed, and dizzy. But, I just ignored it figuring I'm not having a heart attack, which I wasn't. So, I'll be screwed if I ever get symptoms before a real heart attack because I'll just ignore them too.
 

Claudia1794

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I had a friend a long time ago that would get panic attacks, drive to the hospital, and wait in the waiting room until they went away. I told him he must be scared to die, which I believed to be the reason he was having panic attacks.

I've felt like I was having a heart attack many times including numb arm, pain in my chest / back, light headed, and dizzy. But, I just ignored it figuring I'm not having a heart attack, which I wasn't. So, I'll be screwed if I ever get symptoms before a real heart attack because I'll just ignore them too.
Me too, now. I only went the one time and I really thought I was dying. I was standing in a classroom full of kids and it just hit me like out of nowhere. My principal tried to call an ambulance but the music teacher took me. I kept telling that doctor he was mistaken that I didn't have panic attacks. They ran all these tests and I left feeling like a right old ass with a script for klonopin and my heart was fine. My doctor says its social anxiety but I have my own ideas that she disagrees with. Anyhoo, I just try to avoid things things that piss me off.
 
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Anyhoo, I just try to avoid things things that piss me off.
I think everything pisses me off nowadays. I really like laying in bed and going to sleep. I'm concerned that in a few more years I might just say F it and stay in bed all the time. I don't have to do anything. So, if I stop pushing myself to do stuff I'll just stop.
 

Claudia1794

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I think everything pisses me off nowadays. I really like laying in bed and going to sleep. I'm concerned that in a few more years I might just say F it and stay in bed all the time. I don't have to do anything. So, if I stop pushing myself to do stuff I'll just stop.
Yeah, but all that may change when you start roaming around.
 

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