Social problems that are self caused?

[Anonymity]

A thread I just browsed through got me thinking about this. I can't remember the name of it, but it was something about people reveling in their own loneliness and martyrdom. It all sounded rather familiar: intense hostility, feelings of superiority over others, etc. Sounded like me.

I feel like I really have become quite shallow and horrible over the years. It seems like, after so many bad experiences with people, I just treat everyone as if they are detestable and horrible. Perhaps out of fear that I may be hurt or something. Ironically, it appears that I may have become as detestable as the people whom I judge as such, thereby creating a situation in which I am unable to maintain any form of meaningful friendship.

Long story short, I'm a bit of an arse with people.

I've kinda realized that for a while now and often yearned for change. But I don't really know how to change. I used to be so nice and friendly with everyone, but now I'm a bit of a bumhole. I suppose that is one reason why I joined this forum: to talk with people and learn not to be a bumhole.

How about you guys? Ever went through a similar situation? Ever been a bumhole?

(BTW, this is the correct area for such a subject, right? Kinda new to the whole 'forum' thing.)

 

[Peaches]

totally, I can relate totally - for more years than I can remember I have been pushing my extreme shyness so that now I am quite the social butterfly but then I "forget" to focus on working on deep personal relationships with a very selected few, that in fact is the only thing I care about. So, yes, sometimes I can be quite the "arse", and it's ironic because it happens mostly because I am overwhelmed by all this artificial "putting yourself out there", so I can be distracted, insensitive, egocentric and superficial, even if in general I don't think I am (much), and that kills my chances to meaningful relationships even more.
What can I say, I am a bad introvert, I get bored and depressed without other people…

 

[ardour]

My problems are also self-inflicted to a large extent. A lot of people don't care about appearance (attractiveness) but most are wary of a guy who can't manage a genuine smile.

I can have a decent conversation once it's gets into the nitty gritty of a topic I'm reasonably knowledgeable about, or one of those rare days I feel good, but it's always at the greeting or goodbye stage that I fresia it up.

As for coming across superior of angry, yes at time perhaps, but it's as peaches has said, to do with anxiety or overcompensating for shyness.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

This kinda honeysuckle doesn't win friends

[video=youtube]

 

[Anonymity]

This kinda honeysuckle doesn't win friends

[video=youtube]

Oh my God, that made me spit out my coffee. Thanks a lot, dude.