Some of my loneliest times are when I'm not actually alone

[bluedolphin92]

I could be in a room full of people and feel like no one there really wants to talk to me, like my being there makes no difference whatsoever. Or I could be eating dinner with my parents, with them not saying a word or just staring at their cell phones (And I thought it was people MY age who were stereotypically always on their phones). Even when I'm hanging out with my friends, I often feel a sort of disconnect with them. I am only friends with them because we happen to go to the same school and live in the same dorm building. If I had gone to another school these people would be complete strangers to me and neither of us would be any different because of that. Though I am not alone in the literal sense, these are the times when I feel the most lonely.

Conversely, I could be completely alone in my house or dorm room, with nothing but the internet to keep me company. Communicating with people behind a computer screen that I have never met in real life. I often connect with these people in a way that I never have with anyone in real life. I am technically alone in these times, but I am not lonely.

I don't know if I expect anyone to actually respond to this post...Just venting my thoughts a bit.

 

[QuietForte]

I know exactly what you mean. For example, in all senses of the word, I am alone right now. It's 8 in the morning, I'm laying in my bed on my laptop, not a single sound other than my fingers on the keyboard, not a soul around me except my neighbors. However, I'm currently not lonely - I'm reaching out to someone who has the same thoughts and problems as I do, and I think that's sometimes the answer behind this phenomenon. With the internet, you can connect with people who know exactly what you feel like, because you have such a huge and rich pool of people to throw your line into. In your actual real life relations, you are a bit more limited, not to mention things can be a bit more awkward. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends in real life, but when I'm invited to go out to dinner with a group of four others, and said four friends are divided into two couples that love each other, even though I'm with quite a few people, I feel very sad and spaced out.

 

[Cucuboth]

I've been in classes, and in groups, of 30 or so people, and still felt very isolated. Have been to sporting events where I've sat in a crowd of over 20,000 and still felt isolated. I've been to other cultural events where there has been over 100,000 people, and I've been in the middle of a city where this over a 1,000,000 people .... and I've still been lonely.

Of course, I can be on the internet ... like right now (obviously) ... and I feel just as alone now.

 

[Rosebolt]

People often seem to confuse solitude and loneliness.

I get what you mean though, i connect alot better to people online than i do in real life as well. It's kind of discouraging to keep trying in real life to make new friends.

Feel free to send me a message if you like.

 

[Clark Baxter]

You know I've always doubted the internet as being a healthy social environment but forums like these are more than interactive agents. Maybe we should use this platform in a better way. Maybe this is the answer for lonely people who're spread out in this world.

 

[Masque]

I get where you're coming from. It's not the physical presence of someone that matters online or off.

 

[Cavey]

I get where you're coming from. I often feel lonely regardless of where I am; be it a supermarket, social gathering or even this forum. Conversely, I feel least lonely when I am walking by myself.

I agree with what Rosebolt said. There is a world of difference between solitude and loneliness. Solitude is a choice - a conscious decision to be alone at that precise moment.