Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me

[sweetviki]

I just dont know. I dont feel like I'm fitting in at all. I have a few friends but I seem to always get forgotten . I'm kinda shy in school and its hard to make new friends. I'm 17 I keep thinking I should be over this stage but I'm not. I'm especialy shy around guys , girls I seem to relate alot more too but with a guy its harder to start a conversation. Out of school I'm different I've met people outside of school and seem to get along with them fine but when it comes to being that open and outgoing in school I can't seem to do it. I dont know sometimes I think people just dont like me in school for some reason and yeah I know its hard for me to open up and loosen up. I cant say I'm part of a group. Everyone seems to have their own clicks in school but I'm someone that can relate to many different types of people which is why I have some friends that are completely different from eachother and yet I feel like I dont belong and different people assume different things about me. I just dont know . Can anyone relate and give me advice?

 

[Sinlaw]

I can relate,im also 17,if somehow im talking to two girl at the same time i block and can t say anything except have a dumb smile,i also don t feel i belong there but it s school most people feel they don t belong where they are.One of the only thing you can do is search for a place you belong it might be long but if you find it ll be worth it...I don t think people don t like you, nowadays people aren t as friendly as before so maybe your just getting a don t talk to me vibe.

I don t think it s really an advice,but i can truthfully say that i know how you feel(i think)...

 

[angeLLblueshadow]

yeah, i know how you feel too, in school im li8ke the strange girl, nobody likes talking to me and they seem to really think i'm stupid, and ugly...and so on, sometimes as i talk to people outside the school think i'm funny and a good friend, but i still can't find anyone to really appreaciate it...i don't know i think it's hard to understand this...i don't really have any advice for you because i'm still searching for the answer of this problem, but i'll just say as Sinlaw did

i can truthfully say that i know how you feel(i think)...

 

[Guest]

High School is just four years in a whole lifetime,  but its hard on everyone even the "cool" kids.  Someday when you all go to your class reunions (By the way it's better than therapy those class reunions.)  You will look back and talk to everyone that you though hated you, or didn't know you and a lot comes out.  Most times the "cool" kids are not "cool" adults.

THEY NEVER TELL YOU IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR LIFETIME AS AN OLDER ADULT.  HIGH SCHOOL BECOMES A BLIP ON THE LIFES RADAR.

 

[Guest]

I'm also 17, and I also have a hard time socializing with guys. In fact, I have zero male friends. Yet, I don't have many female friends either. With girls I feel like I can socialize, but with guys, I just can't. I feel very, very estranged around a group of guys.

I have a few friends at school, but no close friends. I don't really have anyone I can hang with outside of school, and I've just been feeling extremely alone this past year...

-Josh

 

[In The Matrix]

Everyone seems to have their own clicks in school but I'm someone that can relate to many different types of people which is why I have some friends that are completely different from eachother and yet I feel like I dont belong and different people assume different things about me. I just dont know . Can anyone relate and give me advice?

I'm very much the same. In a way, I don't belong to any real group. I tend to have one friend in each social circle but can't relate to those groups themselves. You and I, we're called 'floaters'. We float around from group to group, and never seem to be able to settle.

Lately, I've worked my ass off keeping a social circle together, hanging out with them, trying to do different fun activities with them. But it's unnatural and it doesn't come easy. Usually it pays off, and some days I feel like I've wasted my time. Tonight I spent it at a lounge with my friends, completely sober, watching as they all got crunked. Not a big deal.

But those cliques you observe aren't as glamorous as you think they are. A lot of the social dynamics in there are totally messed up and unhealthy. Be happy that you are a floater.

 

[BrokenDreams]

I'm especialy shy around guys , girls I seem to relate alot more too but with a guy its harder to start a conversation.

I'm the same way. I am extremely shy around guys, and I can't seem to talk to them about anything. It seems like I'm from another planet when I hang around with them. I can relate to girls, and talk to them fine, but its with guys I have trouble talking. I'd give advice, but I really don't have any. Is there anyone who could give me some tips as well so I can talk to guys better?

 

[lonely2beeme]

what i wouldnt give to be 17 and shy again ...........
i feel the same way all the time..............i often say to myself "what is wrong with me ?"
i dont know if it ever goes away ,i think it comes and goes mine got worse with age after a small bout of thinking i had broken free of it when i 1st came t japan and was young and thin.
at 35 i cant make friends ,i feel like fighting inside ,i can somewhat on forums (our outside of school equivalent)
but in my own neighborhood around PTA mommies and teachers and doctors i cant say anything (your school situation)
i hope you learn to deal with it now while you are young,itdoesnt get any easier later.
best wishes

 

[In The Matrix]

I'm the same way. I am extremely shy around guys, and I can't seem to talk to them about anything. It seems like I'm from another planet when I hang around with them. I can relate to girls, and talk to them fine, but its with guys I have trouble talking. I'd give advice, but I really don't have any. Is there anyone who could give me some tips as well so I can talk to guys better?

I know girls who only relate to other girls and hang out with them. I also know girls who only hang out with guys, and complain about how bitchy her girlfriends are, and how much unnecessary drama they create.

If you want to know how to talk to guys, talk to them like they were your little bratty brother. And treat them the same. Poke fun and tease, and make things interesting. At the same time, you can learn more about what guys like to talk about, which usually doesn't include relationships. Guys will appreciate the fact that you know what they're talking about.

 

[BrokenDreams]

If you want to know how to talk to guys, talk to them like they were your little bratty brother.  And treat them the same.  Poke fun and tease, and make things interesting.  At the same time, you can learn more about what guys like to talk about, which usually doesn't include relationships.  Guys will appreciate the fact that you know what they're talking about.

Thanks for the advice. I'm not sure it really helps though. I'm really shy, and I'd never get the confidence to really treat them in that way. It seems kinda rude as well, but that is just from my perspective...
I think all the guys I know talk about video games, I play a few, maybe I could make conversation about that...