Successful in life - or am I?

[Justboy]

Hi guys,

I'm new to the board but hear me out. I'm 22 come from the UK and currently have no friends. I'm so depressed it sucks. Now don't get me wrong I have most of my life figured out - I run my own business, I drive a fancy car (yep okay flame me! =P), any material stuff I want I could buy, I still live at home (although a nightmare for some it's cool for me). I don't have a girlfriend or any friends left, they basically were users and just not nice people - I unfortunately realised this far too late to make any new friends at University.

I've worked from home 5 days a week since a year or so ago with no face-to-face contact it is getting me down since I don't have anyone to chill out and have a chat with. I'm mature for my age and all my friends were older than me, I don't drink like most people either. I do still attend University occasionally but there is only 10 days left of term spread over 5 weeks. Most of the students in my classes are immature or have already bonded closely with their groups (since they've known each other since 1st year and I've taken a few classes out-with my course scope) so they don't often want to talk to "that guy that sits up the back".

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up in January 09, and I've been very very unlucky in most of my dates (some very humorous stories if anyone is interested!). Since I don't get out at all now apart from class I don't have the opportunity to meet new people. I'm a likeable character, funny, spontaneous, happy and generally a nice guy so why can't I meet anyone? I recently joined a band, which is great because it gets me out at least once a week, but it feels like work and the band members are about 20 years or so older so there is no opportunity of making good friends. I've tried on-line dating too but everyone that seems to read my profile they never get in touch, when I read their profile they're too busy looking for a guy who's basically a binge drinker and "knows how to have a good time on a night out"- eugh. Then all the nicer girls I've contacted don't write back. I'm basically stuck in a rut.

Is anyone else in this situation? I just feel so lonely and can't seem to find anyone to talk to. My parents keep telling me its cool and everything will work out but I've been lonely since November and I graduate in May which takes away my 2 days a week of getting out. I'm not at the point of crying myself to sleep or self harming (or thinking about it) and I am in no way going to do that, I just feel a bit sad.

Well thanks for listening, your thoughts are appreciated.

 

[Timeless]

Well i thinking commuting to school doesn't give you as much of a chance to become friends with people. I knwo when i commuted, i made some friends but not as much as when i'm living on campus now.

If you don't mind me asking, what job do you have? Since it's at home, there's gonna be minimal contact with people. I would suggest trying to move your job into a more public setting. Usually the next step in life is when you start working. There's no more school and everything's new again. You meet new people from work. You move to an apartment or surrounding.

Drinking is the main attraction that draws people together. You meet tons of people. I'm not too into drinking but you do get a bigger social life if you go out once in a while.

How is the band? Do you go out and perform at clubs or places? That's a great way to know people.
Usually you meet more people who have interest with you. Are there any organization or clubs you can join. Like if you like to cook join a cooking club ( meet some friends and a majority will be girls).

What interest or hobbies do you have? You can find some group who also are interest in that and join it.

 

[IGETNONE]

that sucks man i'm pretty much heading towards that since i too have litte/no friends i can't help you out but maybe u should get go out more often like i don't know meeting new people at different places

 

[Lonesome Crow]

When I was 22 a month seems like a life time to me.
Yes..yes all the material success or money to burn.

I actaully had to stopped drinking because i drank too **** much.lol
Yes...in my first year of recovery, it felt a bit odd. I was only 22...
Attending meetings with a bouch of older people...I felt like duck out of water.
It's a challenge for a lot of AA memebers becuase of the life style change..
Most of the time I felt like stabing my eyes out in meetings listen to people whine about how shitty life is...

Try to have a little patience...
Don't project what's going to happen in May. Okay, school ends...that's about all you know about it. let it go.
It's only been around 2 months since your break up with your gril friend...that's relatively overnite.
Yes...you need and want someone to fill that part of your life that's missing.

Just try to go outside more often. Go shoping. Wsh your car in public..hang out at parks or where people gather
aside from bars. Or just go bike ride...you're not boxed in while ride a bike as you are driving a car.
Keep an eye out for pubilc events in your local area or attend pubilc events whereever...you have a bad ass car...
drive the **** thing.

Maybe take a road trip to differnt cities or travel to differnt countries.You're young and single. Do whatever you want.
You say you have the molaaaaa. Travel anywhere you want.

hahahaaaaaa...I'm 43 and I'm living at home with my parents now. No bills.....
I used to be a manager, I raised a family, had my own home, cars...etc
I got married at a very young age then bascailly got involved in other long term relationships.
So bascailly the past 24 years of my life had been me being a responsible aduilt...taking care of family and bussiness.
Somewhere in the middle of that...I lost myself.

I'm sort of in the same boat...I have a job. It's bascailly my spending money.
Out of all the people that would give me a little pep talk would be my father.lol
He said...i was still young. I'm single. I have litle to no responsibilties but that of my own. Bascailly do whatever the fresia I want.
hahahaaaaa reliving my early teens and 20's...
Will i kind of had a messed up child hood...i kind of had to relive that.
Now that I'm grown up a little bit...i ma relive my 20's

My challegne is finding a woman my age. (Chelle and I have something cooking....lol our little baby girl is all grown up now)
I really like to have a do over with her... If not, I'm open to posibilties.
There's not many single women my age without children where I live ( nothing wrong with having children...i did that already)
I'm going to have to settle for less and date women my daugther's age...It feels wierd but I'm going to have to get over that guilt, shame.
**** it...i guess i can't out live the reputations of lead guitarist dating women half thier age. Must be fate or some honeysuckle ******* with me...

 

[Justboy]

When I was 22 a month seems like a life time to me.
Yes..yes all the material success or money to burn.

I actaully had to stopped drinking because i drank too **** much.lol
Yes...in my first year of recovery, it felt a bit odd. I was only 22...
Attending meetings with a bouch of older people...I felt like duck out of water.
It's a challenge for a lot of AA memebers becuase of the life style change..
Most of the time I felt like stabing my eyes out in meetings listen to people whine about how shitty life is...

Try to have a little patience...
Don't project what's going to happen in May. Okay, school ends...that's about all you know about it. let it go.
It's only been around 2 months since your break up with your gril friend...that's relatively overnite.
Yes...you need and want someone to fill that part of your life that's missing.

Just try to go outside more often. Go shoping. Wsh your car in public..hang out at parks or where people gather
aside from bars. Or just go bike ride...you're not boxed in while ride a bike as you are driving a car.
Keep an eye out for pubilc events in your local area or attend pubilc events whereever...you have a bad ass car...
drive the **** thing.

Maybe take a road trip to differnt cities or travel to differnt countries.You're young and single. Do whatever you want.
You say you have the molaaaaa. Travel anywhere you want.

hahahaaaaaa...I'm 43 and I'm living at home with my parents now. No bills.....
I used to be a manager, I raised a family, had my own home, cars...etc
I got married at a very young age then bascailly got involved in other long term relationships.
So bascailly the past 24 years of my life had been me being a responsible aduilt...taking care of family and bussiness.
Somewhere in the middle of that...I lost myself.

I'm sort of in the same boat...I have a job. It's bascailly my spending money.
Out of all the people that would give me a little pep talk would be my father.lol
He said...i was still young. I'm single. I have litle to no responsibilties but that of my own. Bascailly do whatever the fresia I want.
hahahaaaaa reliving my early teens and 20's...
Will i kind of had a messed up child hood...i kind of had to relive that.
Now that I'm grown up a little bit...i ma relive my 20's

My challegne is finding a woman my age. (Chelle and I have something cooking....lol our little baby girl is all grown up now)
I really like to have a do over with her... If not, I'm open to posibilties.
There's not many single women my age without children where I live ( nothing wrong with having children...i did that already)
I'm going to have to settle for less and date women my daugther's age...It feels wierd but I'm going to have to get over that guilt, shame.
**** it...i guess i can't out live the reputations of lead guitarist dating women half thier age. Must be fate or some honeysuckle ******* with me...

Actually its 2010 so it was a year and 2 months, so not overnight!

Thanks for the responses though - appreciated.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

don't get a chick pregnant....

hahahaaaaa,
The last time I gave someone that advice, he got a girl pregenant a couple of months later.