the constant quiet...

[blacksmith205]

I get off of work everyday and drive a few kilometers home (yeah, yeah. this American prefers the metric system. Lets face it, the metric system is way better!), I take my dirty work clothes off and toss them into the appropriate basket, I eat a light breakfast (I work nights), go cycling, shower, have a beer or two and hit the hay. In short: work, eat, sleep, repeat. I live alone in a nice size house, with nice things, and I have a great income and live a fairly simple life. Its all I've ever wanted, to live simply, and want for not... but I never wanted to be alone.

I was married 10 years ago and never thought in a million years that I'd get divorced. honeysuckle happens to the best of us! I've had a few girlfriends and one failed engagement. But always wind up alone! The older I get (nearly 34 at the moment) the harder it seems to be to meet quality people for any kind of romantic possibilities. I do get out and mingle as often as I can. I date. I belong to a few meet up groups and clubs. I just never feel like anyone even cares to really get to know me. The first things women ask, that I've noticed, are what I do for a living, how much money do I make, my height and age. And this is while looking directly into my face, in public! Has society become that shallow? Does my income level really matter? Hell, I make more than most people with masters degrees and work less hours! Who cares how tall I am? I might be average in stature, but I can still tear your arm off and twist you into a pretzel (former semi pro fighter-mma). I can sort of understand the age question. Find out who I am, not what I have. It's what keeps a relationship together!

I need a dog...

B.S.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

I know that women sound shallow over the money thing, but you have to look at it from our perspective. You can't buy formula, diapers, doctoring for children on wishes and dreams or love alone. Women don't want to have to struggle, it sucks. We don't want our babies to do without anything, we want their needs met. Financial security is important because so much stress and unhappiness comes of not having enough money to support a family. It can break a marriage faster than anything but cheating. Housing, food, clothing, schooling, doctor bills-everything costs a ton of money these days and we know that. If a man can't provide for a possible family then there's no point in getting involved with him. That's how women think. And plenty of women make money themselves just fine, but they want a partner who's a helpmate, not a stone around their neck dragging them down and taking instead of contributing. If you had a daughter, you'd be terribly worried that she might get with a man who's not able to take good care of her. All fathers have this worry if they have a daughter.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Personally, I think it shows a marked lack of class to ask someone what their income is (unless perhaps you're considering switching careers).
Asking what you do for a living...well, I'd do that as a conversation starter - it's a great way to get to know something about someone. Hell, most of us spend more waking hours at work than we do home and for most of us, I think our job is something that's generally important to us.
Also, I don't know where you're from, but in the North, the icebreaker question is usually "what do you do" and the question in the South is "who do you know?" It's a way to find things in common with other people.
The age question is another I will ask, but more so to see if there might be some things in common I suppose.
Ask you how tall you are? Are they blind and can't just look at you and judge that on their own?
LOL, where are you finding the odd females.

 

[blacksmith205]

The women here in the Dallas, Tx area that I've had the misfortune of meeting won't date men who make under hald a million dollars. Theyre just being shallow whores. I know not all women are like that. I make a comfortable $100k and work 6 months out the year. Actually it depends on where in the south the questions asked. Most od the time its "who are your parents and grand parents? And what do they do?".

---

FGW, I can't have kids. So, that's a moot point for me. I like my freedom and won't be changing diapers or rocking kids to sleep. Children generally ruin happy marriages.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

You can have kids by another method, people do it all the time. That's a choice you've made for yourself which is fine. But the number of women who are good with no kids is probably relatively small and that may be why you're running into trouble. It doesn't matter that you yourself can't get them pregnant, because there are medical options to overcome that for the woman. Sperm banks being the quickest and cheapest way. And I don't think you're right about the kids ruining marriages at all. Our kids didn't ruin our marriage at all and he says the same thing. He can't imagine life without them in any way shape or form. His words, not mine. The kids have added layers to our lives, drama, fun, laughter (lots), activities, the joys of holidays that can be quite boring and lonely for some childless adults, and the magic of rediscovering how fun it is to see things from a child's perspective again. What ruins some things for us is our snooze-worthy location with nothing to do, and that we don't enjoy the same things. The kids have held us together for 17 years like glue. Without them we would have broken up, I'm quite sure of it. We have a few major mismatches that as kids we didn't realize. We love each other but it's not perfect like nothing ever is. Our kids were never the problem, most people really really love their kids and wouldn't change things if they could where they are concerned.

Edit:
I'm sensing some hatred toward women in your post. If this shows in any way when you go to these things, you're losing the fight straight out the gate. Women know when a man has anger or disgust for women in general without him saying a word. It hangs in the very air around him. If you only want to get in someone's pants and yet feel total disrespect for them at the same time, you're not going to get anywhere. Women are emotional creatures, and they want more than just to be used. If your attitude shows, you're driving them away without knowing it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Theyre just being shallow whores.

Hey now. Shallow they may be but calling them whores? I think that's a bit overboard.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

You can have kids by another method, people do it all the time. That's a choice you've made for yourself which is fine. But the number of women who are good with no kids is probably relatively small and that may be why you're running into trouble. It doesn't matter that you yourself can't get them pregnant, because there are medical options to overcome that for the woman. Sperm banks being the quickest and cheapest way. And I don't think you're right about the kids ruining marriages at all. Our kids didn't ruin our marriage at all and he says the same thing. He can't imagine life without them in any way shape or form. His words, not mine. The kids have added layers to our lives, drama, fun, laughter (lots), activities, the joys of holidays that can be quite boring and lonely for some childless adults, and the magic of rediscovering how fun it is to see things from a child's perspective again. What ruins some things for us is our snooze-worthy location with nothing to do, and that we don't enjoy the same things. The kids have held us together for 17 years like glue. Without them we would have broken up, I'm quite sure of it. We have a few major mismatches that as kids we didn't realize. We love each other but it's not perfect like nothing ever is. Our kids were never the problem, most people really really love their kids and wouldn't change things if they could where they are concerned.

Edit:
I'm sensing some hatred toward women in your post. If this shows in any way when you go to these things, you're losing the fight straight out the gate. Women know when a man has anger or disgust for women in general without him saying a word. It hangs in the very air around him. If you only want to get in someone's pants and yet feel total disrespect for them at the same time, you're not going to get anywhere. Women are emotional creatures, and they want more than just to be used. If your attitude shows, you're driving them away without knowing it.

Children do not always fix a situation either, I truly believe the decision to have kids is one of those "to each their own" things.

I do COMPLETELY agree with your edit though.

Blacksmith sometimes we look for love in the wrong places as well, women and men. That could be an issue you are not addressing either.

 

[blacksmith205]

Lots of assumptions and speculation... and lots of angry women

Moderators: please lock this thread/disable further comments. I really don't need this. Bye y'all! I'd like to say its been nice, but it hasn't.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Angry? The only anger I've really seen is yours. You seem to be overreacting to some pretty mild comments.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I dunno blacksmith, you seem to be making assumptions based on your experience and I really don't see where there have been any angry women. Most don't take kindly to be calling whores no matter what the situation. That's a good way to get yourself smacked by a woman even if you had good reason to use such a word towards her. Lots of sweeping generalizations in your comments as well. Some even agreed with you, just not the words you used.

We usually don't take requests to close threads in posts and just because people aren't agreeing with you. This might serve as a good lesson.

 

[Locke]

Lots of assumptions and speculation... and lots of angry women

Moderators: please lock this thread/disable further comments. I really don't need this. Bye y'all! I'd like to say its been nice, but it hasn't.

Maybe it's you. Seriously. Women don't like to be called "shallow whores". Maybe they can sense the sexism and bitterness. All your money doesn't mean a **** thing if you act like that. I've visited Dallas, so don't give me some lame story about women there being like that. It is most likely you.

I never met you, but I'm still happy to say goodbye!

 

[Blue Bob]

Children generally ruin happy marriages.

They don't ruin a marriage. I've lived with a house full of kids. It was a big beautiful mess and I loved it. Now I'm alone and I don't like it, and I have a dog. He doesn't like it either.