The Diary

[BrokenDreams]

Well, my day was prety good. I got pretty good marks on my midterms. I guess working hard does pay off. I'm pretty surprised since I thought I was doing bad. I worry too much. I wish I could understand math better, I need to improve on that subject. And I also *tried* to make conversation with this guy I know who I have a little crush on. It wasn't much, but it was better than just saying hi and stuff I normally do. Ugh! I'm so shy around guys.

When I got home I talked to a neighbour who just got back from Cuba. I wish I could go on vacation to some place warm. We looked at a few magazines and talked about randomness. Nothing too exciting. Then I ate and did my homework, the usual boring stuff.

Then I started to worry myself about the future. I got all scared that I'd end up all alone. I then went for a nice walk to take some time to reflect. I went to the park nearby and swang on the swing. Its nice to kick back and act like a child again...

Well, thats basically my day. Nothing really exciting I know. At least it was a pretty good day.

 

[tashar_boo]

great idea luna
i'll have a go now.... my day so far has been boring and so was my monday.. last nite my boyfriend didn't ring me and i was not happy soi stayed in my room and was being anti-socail to my room mates and watched the grudge 2(it was boring and predictable), dis morning my bf rang me to apoligise and i got over it and had a smoke the went to court for a few hours and now i'm at school where i'm bord shitless and wanna go be anti-social in the dark with my thoughts again at home...

how everybody else going owt there.?

 

[Josh]

Well today was just another day like usall went to school was bored and people annoyed me came home played some video games and did my homework. Don't have to work which is nice. Started to wonder again if I have just accepted being alone and if this is how its going to be forever started wondering if I am happy when I am lonely.

 

[BrokenDreams]

Today is my Mom's birthday. So I went out for dinner. School was just likw usual, I tried talking to the guy I like at lunch, we just had a boring conversation of nothingness. Well, one good thing did happen today in French, I got a 93% on my project! Well, I was hyper earlier due to too much caffiene. (Its not safe to give me coffee, but I had some anyways.) I was going all crazy and I scared my parents. I have a very hyper side to me, which I usually use to try and cover my pain. Well, thats my boring day.

 

[Elaeagnus]

Today is my Mom's birthday. So I went out for dinner. School was just likw usual, I tried talking to the guy I like at lunch, we just had a boring conversation of nothingness. Well, one good thing did happen today in French, I got a 93% on my project! Well, I was hyper earlier due to too much caffiene. (Its not safe to give me coffee, but I had some anyways.) I was going all crazy and I scared my parents. I have a very hyper side to me, which I usually use to try and cover my pain. Well, thats my boring day.

I'd say a boring conversation is better than no conversation at all, right? Especially if it's with the guy you like. I have to admit I'm a little jealous, and you're just in the talking phase!

 

[Elaeagnus]

Today is my Mom's birthday. So I went out for dinner. School was just likw usual, I tried talking to the guy I like at lunch, we just had a boring conversation of nothingness. Well, one good thing did happen today in French, I got a 93% on my project! Well, I was hyper earlier due to too much caffiene. (Its not safe to give me coffee, but I had some anyways.) I was going all crazy and I scared my parents. I have a very hyper side to me, which I usually use to try and cover my pain. Well, thats my boring day.

And PS- You're still in school, and you're already talking to the guy you like. I didn't try that until I was 21. You're way ahead of lots of people in the world, even if it doesn't feel like it.

 

[BrokenDreams]

Wow, really? I never thought of it in that way. A boring conversation is something at least, so I'm making progress. Well, my friend is going to try and find out if he likes me back. I'm a bit worried he won't like me.

Well, today was really boring. I basically just listened to my ipod all day. I also went for a walk and chatted with some kids on my street that I know. My life is so boring. I wish I could actually do something exciting.

 

[Josh]

Really didn't do much today went to work for a few hours that always sucks seeing people having fun and couples. Got my grades back from last term I got A's should be happy but I am not. It seems no matter how hard I work or what I do it just doesn't matter. Dunno what the hell is wrong with me and starts to really piss me off cause I can't fix it.

 

[lonelygirl]

Today was totally lame for me. A waste of a day. I had stayed up online WAY too late for the past 3 days and had a sleep deficit. I was so tired today. I woke up to work online but then went back to bed at 10:30 am and slept until 4 pm. Since then all I did was eat a lot of fast food, watch a Tv show, and read. What a fat slob!

 

[Elaeagnus]

Well, I just had a birthday, which means I'm one year older. Yay! I got two cards in the mail from my family, so that was pretty nice. I didn't have any plans and nobody to spend the day with, but I tried to make the best of it. I splurged at the grocery store and made myself a pretty elaborate dinner. I cleaned my house and picked up all the stuff that had accumulated during the week. It always makes me feel better to have a clean house. I was really feeling ok, but then when I went to bed I was overwhelmed by despair. I started to cry and just couldn't stop. That happens to me a lot at night, even if I'm alright during the day. So to sum up: good day, bad night.

 

[BrokenDreams]

Happy belated birthday Elaeagnus!
It stinks to have to celebrate you birthday all alone. I have never had to, I would have seen my friends at school if it was on a weekday, or if it was on a weekend, I'd at least have my parents take me out for dinner. It must be difficult. I can't imagine spending my birthday all alone like I did on New Years Eve, when my parents were out at a party. I feel terribly sad and lonely, and thought it was just a terrible way to bring in the new year. Thankfully, this year hasn't been going as terrible as other years, but it would be alot better if I could improve my grades.

As for my day, I went to school saw my friends, *almost* failed a math test, went home. Then I went on the computer, and that leads us to now. I might have to do some of my homework later, I seriously need to learn how to do math for my unit test tomorrow.

 

[kaviii]

happy birthday Elaeagnus, i envy you people you have someone to celebrate with for your birthday. I never looked forward to my birthdays, i always have to celebrate it alone.

today is a normal day my days are always predictable everyday and its driving me nuts!! anyways i woke up went on the net for a little while went to school went home than go on the computer waiting for a person to come online on msn. that is basically my day for the weekdays unless something unpredictable happens.

 

[Krossknife]

Well today is a little bit easier than yesterday... Shes finally loosing some momentum in my head wich is a relief, and know I am finally starting to feel like I can begin with picking up the pieces but now I am scared on where to begin. Its been 7 years of 24 hour work then her, but I feel there is a light at the end of this tunnel and ill be damned if I dont get there!!! Today I had some good 1 on 1 time with my beautiful niece Anna and the talk I think we had helped me more than her lol, its amazing what a 3 year old can teach a 27 year old sometimes lol. Its been quite a change to leaving my house and moving in to 3 children a brother and his wife but I think the socail atmoshpere is helping me in more ways than 1. Like I said today feels better than yesterday..

 

[Elaeagnus]

I'm having a bad day today. Sometimes I get so down. At the moment, I'm feeling a little heartbroken; although why it hit me today, I don't know.

About a year and a half ago I met a really great guy. He's nice, smart, funny, considerate, polite, fun to talk to- in short everything I ever wanted in a man. I fell for him right away, but I knew from the started he wasn't interested in me. He was always nice to me when I initiated a conversation or sent him an email, but he never sought me out. Over time I had a harder and harder time keeping my feelings for him in check, and whenever I let slip a little of how I felt about him, he would get really uncomfortable and change the subject or leave.

So anyway, this went on for just over a year, and I knew all along that he wasn't interested in me romantically, and I didn't think he really liked me as a friend or a person either. He's just such a nice guy, and I think he felt bad for me, so that's why he would talk to me when I would start a conversation. Well over that year my feelings got stronger and stronger, much more than I've ever felt before, and I was getting pretty desperate. I was thinking about him all the time, dreaming about him at night, crying because I knew I'd never be in a relationship with him.

I decided that if I came straight out and told him how I felt, he'd be forced to turn me down. I hope that hearing him say he didn't want me and didn't want to have a relationship would help me move on and get over him. So I told him everything, and he was very nice about it when he turned me down, but he said it made him really uncomfortable to know I had these feelings, and he'd rather I didn't try to talk to him anymore.

That was about 6 months ago, and my feelings haven't changed at all. If anything, I care about him more than I did before. How that is possible is beyond me. I haven't talked to him since, just as he asked, but I have seen him around from time to time. He usually pretends not to see me or just smiles and turns in an opposite direction. I had really hoped that being turned down all that time ago would change things, but I'm still in the same boat. I can't stop thinking about him, I dream about him, and now to top it off, I miss him like crazy because I can't even talk to him anymore.

I've been trying really hard lately not to focus on him, but it's very hard. And lately everytime I think about him, it also makes me think about how I've never been in a relationship, and that makes me even more sad. I know I'm still young, and that there's still a chance to find someone; it just seems like at 25, I should have been able to get 1 date or 1 kiss or 1 anything to hold me over. And when I tell myself that I'm still young and that I'll meet someone, all I can think about is how I don't want to meet anyone. I just want the guy I already met.

I'm sorry this is long. I guess I just needed to rant a bit. Anyone have any advice on getting over unreciprocated crushes that seem to last way longer than appropriate?

 

[Jeremi]

Great. I have to hand in a school assignment on monday that we've had one and a half month to work on, but I haven't even started it yet. What the hell is wrong with me? I've had almost this whole week free, and I've spent my time doing pretty much nothing, knowing well I should've done the assignment. Weird that I keep doing this to myself. Perhaps it's just for the added excitement? Some of my best works was written on the night before ^^

Tomorrow will suck

 

[Elaeagnus]

I hurt my fingers twice today. This morning I slammed them in the garage door when I was taking out the garbage and while I was at work I got them caught in a stall door in the bathroom. I sure am a clutz. That was pretty much my day. Oh- and it was someone's last day at work so we had cookies. I love cookies.

 

[BrokenDreams]

Great. I have to hand in a school assignment on monday that we've had one and a half month to work on, but I haven't even started it yet.

I do that ALL the time. I'm such a procrastinator.

Well, my day was nothing exciting. Just a normal school day. Well, it was kinda warm out so I went outside for awhile after dinner.
I didn't have any cookies though. I like cookies as well. Now I want a cookie. xD

 

[morganlafaye]

Kind of sorry to see this thread lag so I thought I'd post.

I'm working on starting my own business so I made cold calls today. Ugh! But the worst part was getting an email from someone telling me my rates were too high. I did really careful research and I don't think they're high at all, in fact kind of on the low side (but not cut-rate). Well, I'll be looking into it in more detail tomorrow. Nice how one email can shake your confidence!

I took a walk earlier today, though. Very hot but beautiful. Walking does a lot for me. Gives me a chance to daydream.

In a little while I'll do some creative writing. Does anyone else feel like they're forever waiting to do what they want to do? I have real issues with that. Why do I have to wait to get the business straightened out before I can turn my attention to my writing? Why do I have to edit my short stories for the 50th time before I can start looking around for a place to submit them? Why don't I deserve a chance at success? Which is what it really comes down to.

MLF

 

[emotionless]

First time writing in the diary...

It's back to school for me. It's not sad coming back since I'm gonna meet my friends again, and finally have someone to talk to. Summer wasn't really grand, I stayed home most of the time. I tried working out (bicycling) but wasn't really into it. Still ended up playing video games all day... I finally called her, we're going to meet up at Saturday which is three days away. God, it feels good writing here, for some reason.

Wish me luck! In my studies...

 

[kaviii]

First time writing in the diary...

It's back to school for me. It's not sad coming back since I'm gonna meet my friends again, and finally have someone to talk to. Summer wasn't really grand, I stayed home most of the time. I tried working out (bicycling) but wasn't really into it. Still ended up playing video games all day... I finally called her, we're going to meet up at Saturday which is three days away. God, it feels good writing here, for some reason.

Wish me luck! In my studies...

Good luck emotionless...in ur studies and in her too