Maybe a word I use to discribe this state of being is serenity or being serene.
One can be serene with people or without people.
I had to take a major time out in my early recovery. (about a year) Doctor's orders.
He bascailly told me I was going to die if I went back to work and continued to live my life style.
I needed to heal and also find myself. Errr...i guess he thought i was lost.lol
Not only was I torn up from the floor up from drugs and alcohol abused.
Life didn't make any fucken sense to me..that's why I checked out all time.
The world seem like such as hostile place, fucken shallow or retarded to me.
I found that peace and serenity in nature. Time alone from fucken people !!!!!
Not isloated in a room with 4 walls...but out in the open with life.
I was able to distinguished between reality and society.
In nature there wasn't, this is wrong , that is right. This is better and you suck.lol....There just is.
In nature I didn't have to do a god **** mother fucken thing ...no one watching over my shoulders.
No fucken guilt..No fucken shame. No hate. No fucken opionions. No dramma. No trumma. No stress.
In nature I could scream at the fucken top of my lungs as loud as i can of all the hatered and anger i had inside of me.
I can also cry my fucken heart out. I can also be happy too. I can also have a conversation with my maker (god).
Day after day...I slowly learned how to be in the moment. I learned how to let go. I healed. I was okay with me. I guess I found myself.
I also become more aware or awaken. I also notice the wisdom of life in nature. I also felt the uncondition love my maker has for me.
Peace of mind. Peace in my heart. Peace in my soul.
It is one of the reason why I like a spend sometime alone. (maintenence, cleaning or rechargeing myself).
It's like taking shower before I go out into the world/society...I'm fresh and clean. (for my mind and soul/spirit)
It's also like a taking a shower at the end of my day...so that i don't carry the dirt and grime of daily living into tomorrow.
I've also learned how to have filters/boundaries of people as a protective suit. Kind of like protective clothing for my mind and soul as I do daily inneractions with poeple.
If i can...I like to take a drive into the mountains or to a cliff where the surfs crash against the rocks.
Places away from people, away from the rat race of society....for a little while.
I like to spend time alone each day taking a simple walk , sit in my garden, strum by guitar or watch the sunset/sunrise.
Big...big difference between this and isolating myself in a room from life.
I already knew how to obtain this state of being. It's just like anything else in my life. If you don't use it...you lose it.
Or it's a dimishing skill. While having knowlege and epxerinced might help me. Never the less, It'll only work, if I work it.
The more i pratice it or incorporat it into my daily life. The easier or natrual for me to sustains these habits/triats or state of being.
It makes my life more manageable if I apply and practice these things in my life each day..10-15 mins...instead of waiting til I crash and burn
every 5 or 10 years then having to take a major time out or overhaul.