The Society

[Sakura]

Uhm... i don't know how I have to express that. But I can't bear keeping all this inside myself because I feel like wanting to destroy everything. I just want to go back to my bed and cry about things I can't change.

It started with:
"What's your daughter doing nowadays? Did she move out of your house? I didn't see here recently..."
"No, she's still living with me."
"And what's she doing nowadays? Is she doing an apprentice ship?"
"No, she want to go study so she will go on with the school stuff."

My mother is telling that more and more people. And I feel a pressure on my shoulders - getting bigger and heavier.
I hate this feeling. Being judged from others. Even from the own family.
I can't beg my mother to keep her mouth shut and answering questions about my future which is still unclear to me.

I don't know what to become. I have a lot of interests but I can't earn money with them. But I'm getting older. I'm already 21 and didn't have any working experiences. I'm still stucked in high school homeschooling - made for adults who didn't have a high school graduation - and I'm already having difficulties with it.
I'm suffering social phobia and I'm all the time in my room which I feel safe the most. I'm crying all the time in my heart while I'm smiling at the same time. Nobody knows me at all. My mother always says to me that I have to make some thoughts about my future. What I want to become?
But I have no choices. I don't know... I just don't know a thing.
If I had to get out of the house to do something with my mother then I feel like crying and wanting go back to our house - because I don't want to do anything with other people. I don't want to see or talk them too.
But I have to do it and I hate it. Because.... nobody knows me at all.

But the society is asking me things I can't do at the moment. If I'm checking some job offers at job sites in WWW I'm already dead from reading the requirements. Teamwork? Being sociable? Being communicative?
C'mon - I wouldn't even stand an interview.
And just for the case - if I'm in a job I don't know how long I can have it. I would always wake up with headaches in the morning and have just one thing in my mind: "How can I survive the day without making mistakes? Please let the time run fast!"
It would be like in school when I was bullied for years from a lot of people. From other classmates and from the teachers...

And I have always that feeling that I'm one of the most useless things in this world. I can't do at least one thing well... and nobody really does need me.
But the society around me is expecting me to have a job already. To leave the house at 7am and going home at 5pm. And being NORMAL at least. And... and... and...
Uhh...
I'm so sick of this society. It's nothing of its part what I'm going through.
But the society is making me really depressed because I just don't know a **** thing...


I'm sorry for making such a story... but I really don't know what I have to do... I just need to let it out to the world. *sigh*

 

[GoingInsane]

I feel exactly the same, I have a job but It isn't what I'd call my niche. The Home Schooling thing might open a few doors for you. With jobs you're probably best to apply for a part timer that doesn't require much qualifications then after a year or something apply for full time job and work your way up from there. Interviews in basic jobs aren't as hard as they sound, it's usually all about dressing smartly and listening to what your job tasks are and answering basic questions about your interests. You don't have to sound qualified or special. employers are obviously looking for the best candidate they can find but the actual job tasks in jobs like supermarkets, shops etc are very basic and nearly anyone can do it after a couple of weeks of training from an experienced colleague.

I found my first ever job which was part time, a character building experience, before that I had nearly no useful social skills at all but once I was thrown into that zone where I had to work with others and communicate, my social skills and character started to develop in a way it never did at school.

Don't be afraid of jobs because of personal skills you may lack. I still lack social skills even now working full time. I have to interact and talk to people to earn money and thats how I see it. Before my first job I had a serious social phobia because I was bullied at school and felt unloved which I still do at times. But the character building aspects of working helped me overcome the best part of the phobia and realized I was meeting people who I wouldn't consider any better than myself.

In a basic job interview, if they ever ask you about previous experience in work, you could always BS it and say you worked in a bar or something, they will never find out about these things because it simply isn't worth it from the level of easiness the job tasks are and because you are giving the employer something they want to hear. People from all walks of life are working, even those who are as un-confident as yourself. Don't be afraid of your boss suspecting that they might find you are under performing. Unless you completely take the piss and refuse to do your job at all thats when you might have a few words but you can go anywhere like a DIY store for example and you can see the most miserable, and unfriendly looking people working there and it's all because they have similar issues to ourselves most of the time I can guarantee.

When looking for a job, try not being too choosy if it's a job beyond your level of working skills. Employers do usually exaggerate the requirements on job ads slightly anyway and it isn't really what the employer is to expect of you but a preferred skill. There are jobs you probably wont find to be your idea of a good salary or whatever the reason but you can always think of it as an opportunity or a training ground to develop more skills, and you never know you may find it to be a good experience.

Hope I helped somewhat and good luck.

 

[ExiledWays]

My views on society are pretty negative (based on my own experiences, I'm not just bitter and hateful for nothing). The systems that we have created preys upon the population it is supposed to benefit. But it's all about making the wheels of the great machine turn, it's not about love or compassion, it's about greed. And if you're "different" and you're struggling you will find rejection instead of a helping hand. It's the bitter truth, I suppose.

Sorry, I can't imagine that this is helping you in any way, I couldn't resist adding some of my thoughts. In any case, I can relate to what you're saying, for sure. Also, if you ever need a friend to talk to that can relate to what you're going through, just send me a message.

 

[GoingInsane]

The systems that we have created preys upon the population it is supposed to benefit. But it's all about making the wheels of the great machine turn, it's not about love or compassion, it's about greed. And if you're "different" and you're struggling you will find rejection instead of a helping hand. It's the bitter truth, I suppose.

Completely agree with that.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm living at home with my parents at the moment.
It can play headgames on your mind.

The econimics conditions are really bad..I can use that as an excuse.lol
However it's driving a lot of people wacked with they somehow got laid off
and can't find any work.

No..no..no Do not compair yourself with other people or what people's perception
of society is...that's where the self defeating thinking comes in.

It's your the guilt and shame that you feel from trying to live up to your
mother's expectations that's cuasing you extra stress and worries.
You don''t have to carry that with you...Pleaese try to LET GO of those guilty and ashame feelings.

Please try to let that go..
You leaving your house everyday and looking for work is a lot. Please give yourself more credit.
Seeking employment is one of the most stressful thing anyone can go through.
Feeling of rejections and not being good enough will attack you...
Please let go of these thoughts and feelings.

It's okay to make mistakes...I made plenty of mistakes at work and in my personal life.
The only way I was able to be able to make better decisions or fine tune an MRP system
was through making mistake and making bad decisions, at work.

My helpers make mistakes all the time..however I know it's a part of
a learning curve everyone has to go through. I don't fire them or scream at them.
I might get fustrated and might need some moments to chill out and re group myself.
other times through making corrections on mistake we find a better way to do things than I had done them.

One time one of my helpers made a mistake of putting a decimal piont in the wrong place.
It was like a $80,000 mistakes. However at the end of my boss and I trying to correct the mistakes
we actaully made $50,000 profit more out of that contract.

One other time one of my vendors made a mistake of shipping me $20,000 worth of parts I didn't need.
I got mad at first..but then I chilled out. I made a couple of phone calls and was able to sell those
parts for over $100000. I got a $20,000 bonus for making a couple of phone calls

Try to look on the positive side of everything.
Make a gradtitue list.
Make your assets list.
You are not useless. You have more to offer than you think. Give yourself more credit.

 

[Athiest #001]

Life isn't a race. If I am unhappy its because I don't like where I am not because of where I am in relation to other people. That is what I try to tell myself at least. I also feel socially awkward like you and would rather not deal with other people most of the time. The best thing you can do to get over it is just get a job where you talk with people constantly, believe me its the best way to learn, and if you fail so what? I have definitely interacted with people at my work in awkward/attractive/not effective ways but you know its happening less and less.

The absolute biggest thing to do is to NOT compare yourself to other people, like I said, life isn't race, you don't win if you find your career job at 25 instead of 35, or 45. You don't win if you make heaps of money before anyone else. Nobody wins except for the people who kept trying and eventually got it, the amount of time it took to get there is absolutely meaningless.