Hello . I just joined this site after reading a few threads posted by people that have the same type of problems that i do . Im a 17 year old teenager that lives in a really tiny country called Singapore . Well i used to have alot of friends when i was 15 but we stopped contacting each other after i stopped coming to school . Which i guess its me leaving them . But i started making friends with some of my cousin's friends after a few weeks and we would hang out like everyday . I even treated them like my own real brothers but my family had to moved out to a different town that is really far from where they live and where we used to hang out and we started not seeing each other often and now , not seeing each other or contacting each other at all . Now i spend all day sitting infront of the computer playing computer games and only going out like once or twice a month . Its been like going a year now and the only friends i have now is my family , the only people i talk to everyday . During this time , i started to pick up a new hobby which is mixing/remixing songs and when im done , i would post it on my facebook but usually i didnt get a single like or comment at all . I dont mind if people commenting that my mix is honeysuckle . But like no one even knows that i exist in this world . Even an old classmate recently text me and asked if im still alive or dead . Like seriously ?! My mom would always tell me to make new friends but im not good at doing that . I always get ignored no matter how hard i tried and i find myself a really boring person whos not good at keeping the conversation going . And i cant just walk to a group of random people and ask if i could be their friends . It makes me look as if im desperate to have friends . It would be really nice to have just someone to chat and hang out with rather then everyday sitting infront of the computer playing games all day long . Does this make me a loner ? What should i do next ?
This is my life .
- Thread starter Barney
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whocares
Well-known member
first of all making REAL friends isn't something that comes easily. Sure it's easy to 'hang out' with a bunch of people and call them 'friends' but at the end of the day true friendship is quite hard to find. There's a quote somewhere about how a real friend is someone who's shoulders are stained with your tears and from my experience that's correct. True friends are out there but I wouldn't waste my time forcing yourself to go out and look for them. Just be cool and live your life. For example you talked about mixing songs. If that's what you like doing than go for it. Do it because it makes you happy not because you want to be recognized by other people.
You asked whether or not you're a loner because of your situation. I don't think you are. I think there are tons of people in your situation. I'm a senior in college and my social life for the past 1 1/2 years has been miserable. However, i don't consider myself a loser because i have had some EXCELLENT friends in the past. Even though life has kinda drifted us all a-part over the years i still love those guys with all my heart.
Life can be tough sometimes. There is going to be times in your life where you won't be able to find a friend ANYWHERE but you've just gotta hang tough. "This too shall pass". Keep repeating that to yourself. Use this time to grow and find out things about yourself. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be comfortable alone. Find some hobbies you enjoy.
Finally, you're only 17. You've got your ENTIRE life ahead of you. Trust me
You asked whether or not you're a loner because of your situation. I don't think you are. I think there are tons of people in your situation. I'm a senior in college and my social life for the past 1 1/2 years has been miserable. However, i don't consider myself a loser because i have had some EXCELLENT friends in the past. Even though life has kinda drifted us all a-part over the years i still love those guys with all my heart.
Life can be tough sometimes. There is going to be times in your life where you won't be able to find a friend ANYWHERE but you've just gotta hang tough. "This too shall pass". Keep repeating that to yourself. Use this time to grow and find out things about yourself. Learn to love yourself. Learn to be comfortable alone. Find some hobbies you enjoy.
Finally, you're only 17. You've got your ENTIRE life ahead of you. Trust me
MountainGhost
Active member
You're in a difficult situation, I know because I live the same way you do.
The difference being that I'm already over 30 and you're so young that not having a social life hurts more, I would imagine.
Learning to enjoy my own company is a struggle but I've come to the conclusion that people that are ok with being by themselves are better because of it.
They learn to entertain themselves with hobbies, reading and learning therefore they end up being more interesting and more aware of who they really are.
I agree with Whocares for the most part... this won't last forever.
Make the best of your time alone.
Continue on with your music and whatever else makes you happy but keep your mind active and occupied.
To much time gaming can empty your mind leaving it susceptible to depression and feelings of isolation, I've been there.
The difference being that I'm already over 30 and you're so young that not having a social life hurts more, I would imagine.
Learning to enjoy my own company is a struggle but I've come to the conclusion that people that are ok with being by themselves are better because of it.
They learn to entertain themselves with hobbies, reading and learning therefore they end up being more interesting and more aware of who they really are.
I agree with Whocares for the most part... this won't last forever.
Make the best of your time alone.
Continue on with your music and whatever else makes you happy but keep your mind active and occupied.
To much time gaming can empty your mind leaving it susceptible to depression and feelings of isolation, I've been there.
LoneKiller
Well-known member
Don't try so hard. That's what I used to do and others would immediately judge me as a loser not worthy of their attention. What worked for me was
joining a martial arts class.
By joining, I eventually gained a stronger sense of self respect and courage.
If martial arts isn't your thing, just focus on things that you(Not them)enjoy doing and will build up your self confidence. If you are confident and respect yourself more, the others will come to respect you.
If you rely on others for approval and happiness you are setting yourself up to go down hard. Once some of these punks that you aren't good enough for,see how your are improving in any aspect of your life, they will want to hang out with you. 2 cents.
joining a martial arts class.
By joining, I eventually gained a stronger sense of self respect and courage.
If martial arts isn't your thing, just focus on things that you(Not them)enjoy doing and will build up your self confidence. If you are confident and respect yourself more, the others will come to respect you.
If you rely on others for approval and happiness you are setting yourself up to go down hard. Once some of these punks that you aren't good enough for,see how your are improving in any aspect of your life, they will want to hang out with you. 2 cents.
nerdygirl
Well-known member
By the time I'd graduated high school, I'd attended nine schools. Since then, I've moved at least five more times. I always liked moving, but making new friends can be rough. I used to joke around about stuffing somebody into my trunk and forcing them to be my friends or grabbing random people on the street and asking, "Will you be my friend?" I can only advise you to hang in there and try to find some excuse to go out. Sitting at the computer won't help at all, unless you're meeting local people online that you can be with in person.
As for mixing songs, where do you usually put them? I don't think facebook lets us upload sound files? Just wondering if it's somewhere public, like youtube. I totally understand how it is not to get responses. I have the same issue with deviantart. I wouldn't even mind if the feedback wasn't positive, or if it was something like, "Oh, that's ok." Not getting any replies makes you feel somehow lonelier than if you hadn't posted it in the first place. If you're putting it somewhere that we can respond, please link to it here. I'm sure I'm not the only person who would give it a listen.
As for mixing songs, where do you usually put them? I don't think facebook lets us upload sound files? Just wondering if it's somewhere public, like youtube. I totally understand how it is not to get responses. I have the same issue with deviantart. I wouldn't even mind if the feedback wasn't positive, or if it was something like, "Oh, that's ok." Not getting any replies makes you feel somehow lonelier than if you hadn't posted it in the first place. If you're putting it somewhere that we can respond, please link to it here. I'm sure I'm not the only person who would give it a listen.
