edgecrusher
Well-known member
just warning you, i said this will be long... but i have no one else to really talk to about it and it just feels good to get it out in the hopes that someone will read it even though im sure itll sound like im some pathetic whiny high school kid.
first, i am a 28 year old male that has been very shy when it comes to people and women my entire life. i have very few friends and i dont really talk to them about personal stuff or talk to them regularly either. again, im VERY shy with women. i have never been in a relationship or even dated anyone.
there is this single 33 year old woman at my work. she is a natural redhead with the freckles and fair skin. something i have always kind of liked. she is a little overweight, has a big butt, lol. that doesnt bother me at all. i think she is one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. some of the pictures i have seen on her myspace have floored me. and its like she doesnt even know it. she always makes weight coments and "orange hair" comments. she is used to having jerk guys(particularly black guys because of her butt) hitting on her. she had an abusive father and she pretty much just knows who her mom is and thats it. she doenst talk to her father often. she is in the same situation in life as me, hasnt really done anything with herself and doesnt really know what to do. she doesnt even have her license or a car, she rides a bike to work. she doesnt like it here(cant say i blame her) and has made mention of moving several times.
almost a year ago despite the fact that it was on the phone i somehow managed to work the courage up to ask her out to a movie and she said yes. i dont even know if it was considered a date or not. she kind of snuck to the other window and paid for her ticket but i was going to pay for it. i paid for the popcorn and what not. i didnt really know what else to do to make it seem like a date. i had asked if she wanted to go get something to eat before the movie and she said no. when i went to drop her off we talked in the car for like an hour or 2 and then this guy was trying to park and i was in his spot and it was akward and she just kind of said bye and got out of my car real quick.
we only worked one day a week together because she has another job. at this point we had talked for atleast an hour after work in the parking lot every thursday when we worked together and told each other personal stuff about each other. this is how i learned about the stuff i described earlier. before all of this like 6 months before there was a time where she called off a few days one week because she said she was sick. she told me that what actually happened was she got drunk at her other work and this guy gave her a ride home and wanted to come in to use the bathroom and he tried to basically rape her but she headbutted him and he left. thats the kind of personal stuff you dont just tell anyone. she started crying and i hugged her.
anyway. after the first "date" or whatever, the next weekend i asked if she wanted to go out again and she said that friday she had plans but after work saturday we could. both this time and the first time she seemed happy that i asked her out. i was bored as hell friday and put that on my myspace. then later that night her status was "and there is no time for me..." i called her the next day and it almost seemed like she was mad that i didnt call her or something on friday but she had originally told me she had plans. i dont know if i was supposed to call anyway or not, i have never done this before. we ended up not going out again. through several messages on myspace i told her that i was shy and have never dated before and didnt know what i was doing but that i really liked her. i never got any response.
like 2 months later when we worked together she just randomly said "so im sorry about being rude about your messages but i have a lot on my mind right now and im not really good about talking about stuff like this." i said "so do i and i am not good at that either." then we got interupted by a customer with a question and it never came up again.
one night after work she texted my best friend who used to work there so they knew each other. he had recently joined the army so he is pretty much out of my life like everyone else. she texted him something random and then i texted him the same thing. then he texted me "so you guys are hanging out, thats cute." at this point i had told him that i liked her and was trying to talk to her and he knew about her lack of response to my messages. she used my phone to text him something directly after i got that message that i didnt want her to see. after she left for home i called him so i could tell him that i didnt send the last text and that it was her. he then tells me that a month or so ago while drunk he texted her something and she didnt respond. so then he texts a comment about her igonoring him like she did my messages. so then that very moment he says he will hang up with me and text her about it. he does this then calls me back and says that she told him that she was also talking to another guy. i didnt really know what to make of that.
now she doesnt get scheduled anymore at my work because of labor issues and stupid crap that the company i work for is doing so i almost never see her anymore. when i do see her, i get random comments like "shy guys dont say when they are shy." i originally told her i was shy in those myspace messages. i cant help but feel like that is something towards me. i really wish i would have said something like "well... i do" but i didnt think of it at the time. i just feel like if she was interested she would have said something by responding to those messages.
i might just not be her type, i think she may possibly have a thing for black guys and im white. her recent myspace status' have led me to believe she had been talking to someone else who just ended being like the rest of the guys she has talked to. i will not be like those guys. i would treat her the way she deserves to be treated because she is such a nice person. probably too nice which is why she has been in some of the bad situations she has been in.
i have tried to let this go but my mind wont let it happen. i cant stop thinking about her. but at the same time i cant help but think thats because she is the first woman i have felt this way about and because of her appearance. we dont even really have that much in common other than movies and the fact that we are both pretty much loners. at the back of my mind i cant help but feel like there could have been something and its driving me crazy. i dont want to appear like that crazy stalker guy though because either way i would like to be her friend and atleast make an attempt to keep in contact with her if she moves away. my shyness prevents me from doing even that, i feel like it may come across as weird or ill sound stupid or something.
so... thats it. i dont really know what to do about it. its kind of driving me crazy. i warned you it would be long but if you stuck with me this whole time and could give me some sort of advice or just let me know what you think about the situation i would greatly appreciate it since i have no one to talk to about it.
first, i am a 28 year old male that has been very shy when it comes to people and women my entire life. i have very few friends and i dont really talk to them about personal stuff or talk to them regularly either. again, im VERY shy with women. i have never been in a relationship or even dated anyone.
there is this single 33 year old woman at my work. she is a natural redhead with the freckles and fair skin. something i have always kind of liked. she is a little overweight, has a big butt, lol. that doesnt bother me at all. i think she is one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. some of the pictures i have seen on her myspace have floored me. and its like she doesnt even know it. she always makes weight coments and "orange hair" comments. she is used to having jerk guys(particularly black guys because of her butt) hitting on her. she had an abusive father and she pretty much just knows who her mom is and thats it. she doenst talk to her father often. she is in the same situation in life as me, hasnt really done anything with herself and doesnt really know what to do. she doesnt even have her license or a car, she rides a bike to work. she doesnt like it here(cant say i blame her) and has made mention of moving several times.
almost a year ago despite the fact that it was on the phone i somehow managed to work the courage up to ask her out to a movie and she said yes. i dont even know if it was considered a date or not. she kind of snuck to the other window and paid for her ticket but i was going to pay for it. i paid for the popcorn and what not. i didnt really know what else to do to make it seem like a date. i had asked if she wanted to go get something to eat before the movie and she said no. when i went to drop her off we talked in the car for like an hour or 2 and then this guy was trying to park and i was in his spot and it was akward and she just kind of said bye and got out of my car real quick.
we only worked one day a week together because she has another job. at this point we had talked for atleast an hour after work in the parking lot every thursday when we worked together and told each other personal stuff about each other. this is how i learned about the stuff i described earlier. before all of this like 6 months before there was a time where she called off a few days one week because she said she was sick. she told me that what actually happened was she got drunk at her other work and this guy gave her a ride home and wanted to come in to use the bathroom and he tried to basically rape her but she headbutted him and he left. thats the kind of personal stuff you dont just tell anyone. she started crying and i hugged her.
anyway. after the first "date" or whatever, the next weekend i asked if she wanted to go out again and she said that friday she had plans but after work saturday we could. both this time and the first time she seemed happy that i asked her out. i was bored as hell friday and put that on my myspace. then later that night her status was "and there is no time for me..." i called her the next day and it almost seemed like she was mad that i didnt call her or something on friday but she had originally told me she had plans. i dont know if i was supposed to call anyway or not, i have never done this before. we ended up not going out again. through several messages on myspace i told her that i was shy and have never dated before and didnt know what i was doing but that i really liked her. i never got any response.
like 2 months later when we worked together she just randomly said "so im sorry about being rude about your messages but i have a lot on my mind right now and im not really good about talking about stuff like this." i said "so do i and i am not good at that either." then we got interupted by a customer with a question and it never came up again.
one night after work she texted my best friend who used to work there so they knew each other. he had recently joined the army so he is pretty much out of my life like everyone else. she texted him something random and then i texted him the same thing. then he texted me "so you guys are hanging out, thats cute." at this point i had told him that i liked her and was trying to talk to her and he knew about her lack of response to my messages. she used my phone to text him something directly after i got that message that i didnt want her to see. after she left for home i called him so i could tell him that i didnt send the last text and that it was her. he then tells me that a month or so ago while drunk he texted her something and she didnt respond. so then he texts a comment about her igonoring him like she did my messages. so then that very moment he says he will hang up with me and text her about it. he does this then calls me back and says that she told him that she was also talking to another guy. i didnt really know what to make of that.
now she doesnt get scheduled anymore at my work because of labor issues and stupid crap that the company i work for is doing so i almost never see her anymore. when i do see her, i get random comments like "shy guys dont say when they are shy." i originally told her i was shy in those myspace messages. i cant help but feel like that is something towards me. i really wish i would have said something like "well... i do" but i didnt think of it at the time. i just feel like if she was interested she would have said something by responding to those messages.
i might just not be her type, i think she may possibly have a thing for black guys and im white. her recent myspace status' have led me to believe she had been talking to someone else who just ended being like the rest of the guys she has talked to. i will not be like those guys. i would treat her the way she deserves to be treated because she is such a nice person. probably too nice which is why she has been in some of the bad situations she has been in.
i have tried to let this go but my mind wont let it happen. i cant stop thinking about her. but at the same time i cant help but think thats because she is the first woman i have felt this way about and because of her appearance. we dont even really have that much in common other than movies and the fact that we are both pretty much loners. at the back of my mind i cant help but feel like there could have been something and its driving me crazy. i dont want to appear like that crazy stalker guy though because either way i would like to be her friend and atleast make an attempt to keep in contact with her if she moves away. my shyness prevents me from doing even that, i feel like it may come across as weird or ill sound stupid or something.
so... thats it. i dont really know what to do about it. its kind of driving me crazy. i warned you it would be long but if you stuck with me this whole time and could give me some sort of advice or just let me know what you think about the situation i would greatly appreciate it since i have no one to talk to about it.
