Told My Sister I Didn't Want to Hear from Her Unless....

[bodeilla]

My sister has been self-centered lately and has hurt my feelings beyond belief. She convinced me to buy a game upgrade and said we would play online "together." Then one day she is 20 levels ahead of me. Then 40. That's not playing together. She was playing with other people while I was offline. She was also using a special 300% bonus XP buff that only she had access to because of her ranking in the game. She bailed on me and doesn't see that she's done anything wrong.

Well now her daughter quit the game, so she is quitting too. So that ends all possibilities of redemption.

I'm so upset and angry that I sent her an email. I told her how I felt abandoned. It felt like she was forgetting her commitment to me. That she can discard people at her own will. I also told her I was angry and not to contact me again until she understood my feelings.

Do you think I'll ever hear from her again?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Okay, there is probably a lot more behind this then just a game. I think I've seen you post about your sister before. But doing it over a game? She can really twist this on you and tell everyone how you flipped on her over a game and won't speak to her. It won't matter what else she's done in the past, this is the current issue, the big blow up. I mean, I get it I have a brother who would probably do the same thing, and we argue over stupid little things sometimes, so I get where you are coming from. To a lot of people this will seem like a non issue, they won't understand how you could get so worked up over something like a game and cut your sister out.

 

[Walley]

Do you think I'll ever hear from her again?

you will..
ive been through almost the same scenario but it was with my online friend that is like a sister to me..
I got so upset that i ended up causing a bit of scene, pissed off the rest of our guild and I never went back =(
but, i did make up with my friend a few weeks later.
she may not completely understand your point of view because she can't see inside your mind. things that may have upset you may not have seemed as big in her world, so it make take her some reflection to start to see it.
my advice would be to make sure you spell out all of your feelings in a rational way and try to relax. and be relaxed and non-confrontational when you do see her next.


also, SciFi is correct. with my friend it was more like the "tip of the iceberg" of how i was feeling at the time in retrospect.

 

[bodeilla]

It's not just a game. It's a connection. We don't live in the same state.

She's done this to me before. But in a different way. She's been dishonest, if you want to get down to it. Telling me she couldn't commit to something because she had physical ailments. And then three weeks later, forgetting about those physical ailments and doing something similar with family rather than me. It was basically, I didn't matter enough. It hurts.

 

[perfanoff]

I see she made a half-assed attempt to commit to you but frankly she didn't care enough.. the only thing I disagree with is letting her know about it.. people tend to think that you don't have the right to go in a conflict if you get dropped.. Please drop it, don't make more drama even though she gave you a great reason to. You don't get a connection with people easily and family are so very,very few in this world, I believe every bond is precious. Please try to accept it for what it is, it is still way better than nothing..

 

[Sci-Fi]

I know, it really sucks when you get let down by someone you count on.

 

[Walley]

I feel ya.. been there. felt the same feelings..
it is hard.

what i always tell myself (once ive come back down to my senses) is that the reality is other people may have more than one person that is important to them. and that doesnt diminish the caring for you in her heart, it only appears that way to you when she has a conflict in scheduling.. so to speak.

it's also like how I have a wife and kids that I love and they take precedence over anything else. but at the same time there is room in my heart for true friends that I care about. it's just in a non-intimate manner. but no less signifgant to me.

 

[bodeilla]

I consulted with my therapist on how to communicate with my sister. I did it in a loving non-confrontational way. Only hard part was saying don't contact me unless you understand.

This game has been in our family for 7 years. It's a big deal. She understood and sent me an email back and apologized. She said she had created a new level 20 to play with me. But unfortunately, deleted it after hearing about her daughter. She said she was hurting and took it out on the game, not realizing that it would impact relationships.

At least now I have an apology and she is speaking to me.

 

[Walley]

that's good
made me smile too o/

 

[perfanoff]

So she does care, and isn't that what matters at the bottom line? So it's all good. I am happy for you

 

[Trent]

welcome to life

i have two sisters

they're both worthless

 

[Lonesome Crow]

didnt you posted that you wanted to isolate and play vedio games all day??

Becuase careful what you ask for...cuase you might get it.

It even say that honeysuckle in NA's literature....
God works in mysterious ways

 

[Parabolani]

welcome to life

i have two sisters

they're both worthless

My sister is worthless, I still love her, flesh and blood dude.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

My sister isn't into gaming, unless it's Sonic. She kicks my butt in that game, and then gets frustrated that I suck, so I don't play with her.

 

[bodeilla]

<quote>didnt you posted that you wanted to isolate and play vedio games all day??

Becuase careful what you ask for...cuase you might get it.

It even say that honeysuckle in NA's literature....
God works in mysterious ways Toungue</quote>

Yea... that's the point of this thread. I want to play games with my sister. And she finally agreed. Did you see the follow up? And 12 steps is still not my cup of tea. And by the way, I'm mentally ill. I'm no "dry drunk." So yea, I'm not perfect. I have problems. But I'm sober. And I take my meds and I do the best I can everyday. So lay off.

 

[Walley]

I'm not perfect. I have problems. But I'm sober. And I take my meds and I do the best I can everyday. So lay off.

right on man!
that there is the proper attitude.
taking the meds like clockwork and doing best you can everyday is where it's at.
more power to ya!