Too much of a not so good thing...

[wolfshadow]

Does anyone else get so caught up in their 'issues' as it were that they almost become the sum total of their hang ups?

I've got to the stage now where I'm utterly sick of addressing the problematic areas of my life, weary of obsessing over faults that I'm in no position to change and just generally....well in a nutshell...ready to get on with my life.

Here's the thing; I think I've spent so much time being miserable that it's become an ingrediant of who I am. The spark, the sense of humour, the uncomplicated, casual thoughts...it's been a long time but I want them back - far more, as a point of fact, than not being alone.

 

[MiKeY]

So how do you plan on getting them back? It can be tough to recover from letting one's emotions and situations take control. However, I think you can do it if you put your mind to it. It's also interesting that you say you want it more than not being alone... were you changing yourself to be with someone?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yeah...Wolf

It became habitual after a while.
It's just a matter of emptying out my old cup so new stuff can fill my cup.

For me it's been a process.
I work a simple program of letting go of my negative habitual thoughts and emotions.
Bascailly just drop it..I've aynalized my issues long enough.
For the past 2 months. I've been listen to mp3 files to help me walk through that process.
I don't need to listen to it everyday anymore..It's almost habitual or natural now that I let go of my worries or
whatever problems I had internally.

I'm happy or feel good most of the time now.

 

[Minus]

Yes at one time i was so immersed in dealing with a problem for so long that in effect the problem defined me and became my identity. The obsession with the problem in it's self became unhealthy.

 

[wolfshadow]

So how do you plan on getting them back? It can be tough to recover from letting one's emotions and situations take control. However, I think you can do it if you put your mind to it. It's also interesting that you say you want it more than not being alone... were you changing yourself to be with someone?

To answer the last question first, that's a definate negative. For a long time I've been aware on a number of levels that my personality matches up quite poorly with others in terms of making friends. That isn't going to change in the foreseable future and is just something I've had to accept. So sadly there hasn't been anyone on the radar for a very long time.
As for how I accomplish the stated goal, I really haven't got the first clue, I raised this subject so that others might shed some new light on the situation.

yeah...Wolf

It became habitual after a while.
It's just a matter of emptying out my old cup so new stuff can fill my cup.

For me it's been a process.
I work a simple program of letting go of my negative habitual thoughts and emotions.
Bascailly just drop it..I've aynalized my issues long enough.
For the past 2 months. I've been listen to mp3 files to help me walk through that process.
I don't need to listen to it everyday anymore..It's almost habitual or natural now that I let go of my worries or
whatever problems I had internally.

I'm happy or feel good most of the time now.

I certainly can't fault your logic Lonesome; to achieve a less cluttered and negative outlook, engaging in pursuits that will help carry one in that direction.
In the short term I think I can acheive this or something similar but ultimately, I need to involve myself with something and be succesful. Not strictly in return for monetary gain but just something that I can look back on in my own private moments of introspection and reflect on with unreserved pride, if that makes an iota of sense.

 

[luciddisconnect]

Yes, yes, yes. I'm completely bored of my issues. Self esteem issues, relationship issues, friendship issues, body image issues, independence issues, money issues, bitterness issues, depression issues, drug issues, art issues, freedom issues.

Real freedom would be the freedom of not thinking; not just the freedom of not doing.

In real life no one wants to hear my issues. You say some of the honeysuckle that I have on my mind people will look at you thinking "what the fresia, Man. . ." So many times when I'm talking about my issues with people it feels as though I'm confessing something wrong about myself. Which bothers me because much of the time it's not something wrong at all. It's just an idiosyncrasy. The things that make me an individual.

It's funny; I know the path that led me to this point in life backwards and forwards. But it doesn't do me any good. You improve yourself by taking action, not dwelling on the past.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

So how do you plan on getting them back? It can be tough to recover from letting one's emotions and situations take control. However, I think you can do it if you put your mind to it. It's also interesting that you say you want it more than not being alone... were you changing yourself to be with someone?

To answer the last question first, that's a definate negative. For a long time I've been aware on a number of levels that my personality matches up quite poorly with others in terms of making friends. That isn't going to change in the foreseable future and is just something I've had to accept. So sadly there hasn't been anyone on the radar for a very long time.
As for how I accomplish the stated goal, I really haven't got the first clue, I raised this subject so that others might shed some new light on the situation.

yeah...Wolf

It became habitual after a while.
It's just a matter of emptying out my old cup so new stuff can fill my cup.

For me it's been a process.
I work a simple program of letting go of my negative habitual thoughts and emotions.
Bascailly just drop it..I've aynalized my issues long enough.
For the past 2 months. I've been listen to mp3 files to help me walk through that process.
I don't need to listen to it everyday anymore..It's almost habitual or natural now that I let go of my worries or
whatever problems I had internally.

I'm happy or feel good most of the time now.

I certainly can't fault your logic Lonesome; to achieve a less cluttered and negative outlook, engaging in pursuits that will help carry one in that direction.
In the short term I think I can acheive this or something similar but ultimately, I need to involve myself with something and be succesful. Not strictly in return for monetary gain but just something that I can look back on in my own private moments of introspection and reflect on with unreserved pride, if that makes an iota of sense.

Without going into great depth.. Wolf
There's actaully a greater concept with letting go or surrendering
your worries.

somewhere along spiritaul line...

Being whole, higher consiousness or being aware of divine intelligents.

It's so simple it's mind numbing or my mind wanted to resist it
at first...

I feel happy, sereene, peaceful most of the time now.

yes..I can look back and say to myself...I made corrections,
got into proper thinking, or WELL.

Some people call that..being the master of my brain or mind.
Not the other way ....

Trying to keep it simple...wolf

yes wolf it makes a lot of sense.

 

[wolfshadow]

It's funny; I know the path that led me to this point in life backwards and forwards. But it doesn't do me any good. You improve yourself by taking action, not dwelling on the past.

"Doing" is most definately the key to progress but only if one finds the right things to do and is doing them correctly.
That for some can take an awfuly time to figure out if ever. I say that because I've been employed more often than not, fulfilled most of the other obligations expected of a western adult, yet for naught. None of this has helped me evolve or grow, if anything my experiences
of doing have served to take a big bite out of my confidence.

The past is our only solid point of reference, whilst I agree that luxuriating in previous folly or pain is a futile endeavour, the past does offer reasoned, factual insight into who we are and what we are capable of (or not as the case may be). If self improvement has historically proven difficult if not impossible, then it takes a certain leap of faith on behalf of the subject to believe they can really make it happen.

That's pretty much where I'm at right now.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

It's funny; I know the path that led me to this point in life backwards and forwards. But it doesn't do me any good. You improve yourself by taking action, not dwelling on the past.

"Doing" is most definately the key to progress but only if one finds the right things to do and is doing them correctly.
That for some can take an awfuly time to figure out if ever. I say that because I've been employed more often than not, fulfilled most of the other obligations expected of a western adult, yet for naught. None of this has helped me evolve or grow, if anything my experiences
of doing have served to take a big bite out of my confidence.

The past is our only solid point of reference, whilst I agree that luxuriating in previous folly or pain is a futile endeavour, the past does offer reasoned, factual insight into who we are and what we are capable of (or not as the case may be). If self improvement has historically proven difficult if not impossible, then it takes a certain leap of faith on behalf of the subject to believe they can really make it happen.

That's pretty much where I'm at right now.

You have faith already wolf....just apply it to yourself or your greater awarness, greater goods.

Surely you don't lack any actions.
It's taking proper actions or the actions of your desires without
the guilt, shame and fears or the actions the will lead to your personal growth.

Surely if you have more you can afford to give more.

To know where you are at is an excellent place to be. (acceptence)
This will give you a refference piont.
Some people say..." you gotta know where you're at first in order to know where you wanna go."

Self dicipline, persitents, perseverance, positive attitude...
All these will help you achive your goals and desires.

Yeap...taking a leap of faith...Step through the invisible
wall of fears to break out of our comfortzone.

Breaking out of our old habitaul ways of thinking...small consiousness
out to greater awareness. In other words we no longer have
tunnel vision with our obsession

detachements..letting go..surrender
This are all the samething things

It might feel like we're going against the grain. (because we are)
Changes are discomforting for everyone...
Having the forsite that it might feel a bit uncomfortiable to
change..We simply put one foot in front of the other to
step away from our comfortzone.

As we step a little further away from comfortzone...a part
of us will want to return to what is familar and comfortiable.

Our minds and body will seek the path of least resistence.
This is were...procastinations, laziness, over thinking, obessions or addictions sets in.
Our minds plays tricks on us...devert us back to our comfortzone...through guilt ,shame...etc (1000 froms of fears).lol

"Nothing to fear except fear itself"
fresia Everything And Run..back to our comfortzone..lol

or Face Everything And Recover

Fualts Evidecne Apprearing Real

On an emotional level or awareness...what we resist will persist...
We resist changes, resist discomfort...always on the vurge of stepping through our fears.
A coping kill or tool..is to stop fighting, let go, or be transparent to our emotions.

In other words...courage is not without fears...
We take up courage, face our fears (experince it)...Faith keeps us moving forward inspite of our fears.

we will renegociate will ourselves...It's a natural process.

Faith...follow faith and continue to step foward...
Even when we failed again and again or take steps bakwards
Success is a series of failures.

Hope...will inspire us.
Faith is hope in actions.
Faith picks us up and gets us moving forward no matter what, even if we make mistakes.

You know...the little engine that could for the DumBo cartoon...
I think i can...I think i can..I think i can, I know I can ...I know can..I know I can
Just keep it simple...like that.

If we look back to our comfortzone..we will turn into salt. (stone)

By experince all these things...it's charactor building or personal growths.
we learn more about ourselves...we learn about our fears and flaws.
As we learn to get through our fears and obsticals...we gain more self confidence.
We learn to forgive ourselves for making mistakes.
We learn to have patience and tolerance for ouselves.
We learn to have compassion for ourselves.
We learn to Love ourselves no matter what.

By experincing these things within ourselves...we then apply the same principles with dealing with others.
We learn how to live in peace with ourselves and peace with others.

 

[ledchick]

well, I think I do the same thing. I obsess over something until it becomes more a part of me than the real me! Apparantly I am so deeply immersed in my 'problems' that my last Dr. told me, after 2 visits, that I had exhausted them and their treatment options and sent me to a different doctor. That was a real reality check, when a Doctor you have only seen twice tells you that you are beyond their help......
As for any advice on it....nothing from me, I cant even help myself.

 

[wolfshadow]

Self dicipline, persitents, perseverance, positive attitude...
All these will help you achive your goals and desires.

And also...direction and vision. Two things that don't come readily to me but are vital accessories when traversing uncharted waters.

The one positive that I can draw from practicaly all of my experiences so far is that I have an extremely vivid idea of what NOT to do next lol.
Also just the plain knowledge that if I don't start living as opposed to existing, then every single day from now until I die will be nothing more than a tedious replica of the last with the only change inherent being that I grow older, scabbier and ever more cantankerous.

So there's plenty of motivation there, if I can only find a starting point.
Before then, I don't think that I can declare with outright conviction that I'm able to take the plunge and totally divest all of the cerebral baggage that I've been hauling around. To me, that sort of change occurs unconsciously and only after a great deal of effort and time have been invested. So I very much lean towards a 'wait and see' policy.

Anyway Lonesome thanks once again for the excellent feedback, you are very probably one of the most insightful and wise people that I have met online.