Does anyone have any good advice on going through life alone? Such as how to deal with family members and relatives always making comments on how you're single,avoiding awkward small talk at work, or just general not fitting in as you get older. Thanks.
Too Ugly for Love
- Thread starter MajBee
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SophiaGrace
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Your family and friends are perhaps unintentional jerks or maybe they're doing it intentionally.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
I always get those comments from my aunts and uncles. They always ask me when am I getting married. Best way is to ignore them, or what I do, which is to avoid seeing them as much as I can. But sometimes it's unavoidable, so I always prepare myself with what response to give to them or even better, I'd just smile and say I don't know and I don't really care so you shouldn't either to save all the trouble. After which I'd walk away.
As for small talk at work, there was a period of time when I was experiencing this too. I just avoided my colleagues altogether. Or when I see them, I'd pretend to be rushing or busy so I wouldn't have to stick around to talk to them.
Don't let them get to you. It's your life. You decide when you're ready to do what you want.
As for small talk at work, there was a period of time when I was experiencing this too. I just avoided my colleagues altogether. Or when I see them, I'd pretend to be rushing or busy so I wouldn't have to stick around to talk to them.
Don't let them get to you. It's your life. You decide when you're ready to do what you want.
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perfanoff
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ladyforsaken said:
Or nature will decide it for you, somewhere about age 40 or so. Just saying
BrokenInside
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"Every girl is beautiful.Sometimes its just takes the right guy to see it."
Don't let others to ask you personal questions. Remember, there is something happening in their lives too. So, whenever someone starts prying, you know what to do.
Don't let others to ask you personal questions. Remember, there is something happening in their lives too. So, whenever someone starts prying, you know what to do.
switch
Member
BrokenInside said:
That is true. Reminded me of a quote I love: “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it”. This quote is pinned to my bedroom wall!
When people ask you questions about relationships etc just say I'm not looking for anything or I'm concentrating on something else/myself at the minute.
You could always feed them any answer or you could just reply with I am in a relationship. We have been steady for months now, I would like you to meet [insert name here] and point to the air beside you!
Sorry if you have been asked this many times before or hate this question but do you try to make more conversation with your colleagues? Or is small talk bad enough?
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
perfanoff said:ladyforsaken said:
Or nature will decide it for you, somewhere about age 40 or so. Just saying
Lol right. True that. I guess most of the time nature plays a big part in making things happen. We just tend to ignore that or not realise it. I guess.
switch said:
Yep! Totally agree with those sayings!
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SophiaGrace
Guest
BrokenInside said:
what should we do?
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lonelyfairy
Guest
No one is not ugly for love.
My parents have finally gotten over the fact that I'm stuck being single. It really flared up back when my brother got married. He wanted me to be part of the wedding. I refused. I said I'll sit by myself in the balcony and video tape the wedding but I wasn't going to mingle with people or be part of it or go to the after social. I didn't want to put up with people asking me when I was going to get married.
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Ijustwish
Guest
I feel that I'll never find love...blah...
SophiaGrace said:
I think most likely they're just curious as to what is wrong with me. Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves.
ladyforsaken said:
I do try to avoid the subject, and I've gotten pretty good at it, it's just the awkwardness I don't like. I have already decided (mostly it has been decided for me) that I'm going to be alone, my problem now is figuring out how to live with that.
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Trent
Guest
mock them
i mock people that say or do stupid honeysuckle
it works wonders
i mock people that say or do stupid honeysuckle
it works wonders
switch said:BrokenInside said:
That is true. Reminded me of a quote I love: “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it”. This quote is pinned to my bedroom wall!
When people ask you questions about relationships etc just say I'm not looking for anything or I'm concentrating on something else/myself at the minute.
You could always feed them any answer or you could just reply with I am in a relationship. We have been steady for months now, I would like you to meet [insert name here] and point to the air beside you!
Sorry if you have been asked this many times before or hate this question but do you try to make more conversation with your colleagues? Or is small talk bad enough?
Well I do try to make conversation with people at work, but it's just awkward for me. Almost everyone where I work is in a relationship or married or has kids and they are very open about sharing details of their life. I don't have any of that and I don't talk about myself at all, if I'm forced to talk about anything I usually resort to talking about my parents or sister. I feel like people don't take me seriously because of it.
blackdot said:
I think my parents still have some hope that I might get married. They try to bring it up subtly and I usually just ignore their comments. I don't want to hurt their feelings or disappoint them. Hopefully eventually they'll give up on the idea of me getting married.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
MajBee said:
How can you be so sure that you're going to be alone for the rest of your life? Life is so unpredictable. I once thought the same, and poof, somebody came along somewhere. Broke up. Had the same mindset again. Then poof, somebody came along without me even expecting it.
You gotta just let life do its wonders. Maybe it's just not time yet. I believe things happen for a reason. Even if things happen later rather than sooner. Try to keep an open and positive mind...it usually helps not only for yourself, but I somehow believe that when you have an open and positive mind, you tend to attract the positive...if you know what I mean. Gotta have hope. I don't know what I'd do with life without hope. :\
I do sincerely send you my best wishes and luck in finding the right one. Don't limit your future before it can even happen cos you can't know what life will bring.
ladyforsaken said:MajBee said:
How can you be so sure that you're going to be alone for the rest of your life? Life is so unpredictable. I once thought the same, and poof, somebody came along somewhere. Broke up. Had the same mindset again. Then poof, somebody came along without me even expecting it.
You gotta just let life do its wonders. Maybe it's just not time yet. I believe things happen for a reason. Even if things happen later rather than sooner. Try to keep an open and positive mind...it usually helps not only for yourself, but I somehow believe that when you have an open and positive mind, you tend to attract the positive...if you know what I mean. Gotta have hope. I don't know what I'd do with life without hope. :\
I do sincerely send you my best wishes and luck in finding the right one. Don't limit your future before it can even happen cos you can't know what life will bring.
I can be pretty sure that I'm going to be alone. We're the same age and you've had two people 'poof' into your life. No one ever 'poofs' into my life and I've always gotten zero attention from guys (and I do mean zero). It's not been for lack of trying but I'm pretty much invisible to guys, even when it comes to friendship. No hope.
Walley
Well-known member
you cannot judge yourself or your own life by someone else's timetable.
I have an Aunt that remained single until she was in her 50's. (i know, sounds like a long time to wait but this is merley and example)
alot of her troubles were self inflicted though. she was unhappy with herself and so she hid herself away. stayed home and away from social settigns because she felt undesirable. but thats a real catch 22 isnt it? which came first the chicken or the egg? was she unlucky at love and so desided to take herself out of the game? or was she unlucky at love because she took herself out of the game?
well, with her it all ended when she got to a stage in her life where she didnt care about the superficial as much and went to councilling and took on a new view of herself. then of course, once she was ready inside to find someone, she did in a short time.
if she had only got her head to the right place when she was in her 20's still then her life may have been completely different.
don't waste your life feeling down about yourself. at your age there are no absolutes.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
MajBee said:
I'll tell you a bit more about me then. I had zero attention from guys too because I was a timid, shy girl who had trouble even talking to people. I was too freakin shy.
Then I decided, okay, I'm not going to expect anything, and I'm going to have faith and hope that someday, I'll meet that person. I didn't know how cos I was so afraid to even interact with people, ESPECIALLY guys. I was like a nerd. :\
That took long enough really till when I met my ex. It didn't happen immediately. These things are so unpredictable, you can't really say for sure what's gonna happen next or in 5 years time. 5 years ago I thought I'd be married to my ex at about this time or in a few years. We planned for everything in the future, the house, the pets, the kids, the location etc.
But then it all went crashing down cos somehow we ended up not being compatible with one another. I never thought that would happen. Had I known that in the first year of knowing him, would I have gone ahead and go through all that pain and abuse? No, of course not. But I didn't know what was gonna happen and I was willing to be open minded and take the risk. Cos if I don't do that - NOTHING will ever happen in my life and yeah, I'd never end up with anyone if I keep to that mindset.
Hope you get what I'm trying to say. Like I said, don't waste your life away by limiting your chances and opportunities by closing your mind to them.
