tried to make friends, but they've disappointed me...

[kgu]

I have introduced myself here (new members forum) and I was very happy to get friendly people saying hello, kind of cheering me up. Thank you!!!!

I'd like to share a problem. It's a rant. It's hurting me a lot and I need to vent, because I'm crying inside with it, all the time.

I've recently tried to make friends. I'm not a shy person, so, it worked. But they already knew each other. Again, I was the "new" person. One of their group is a mean person, petty. This person didn't like me. Again and again, this person said unfriendly things to me.

The latest: this person lied about something regarding me. It was a lie, a defamatory lie. I tried to talk to this person, but to no avail. Other people in the group told me they realized what was going on, but that they would not say anything, not to "take sides".

I was so disappointed. So, somebody tells a nasty lie about you, other people know its a lie, but they don't say anything.

Instead of defending myself, I just left the group. I don't need this kind of "friends".

It's hurting. I feel disappointed, let down. Things like this have happened to me before. I stand for "friends", but nobody ever stands for me.

I just needed to talk to someone. Because it's really hurting. A terribly lie was said about me in public, posted on the internet. I can't defend myself, because the people who know it's a lie won't say a word in my defense, and my "enemy" is very popular.

I am so disappointed. I'm feeling kind of sorry for myself. For being stupid, for trying to make friends. I don't know if I'll ever try again... and, yet, I'm here...

I'm so desperate for a friend, for a hug, I feel like walking on the streets and just hugging someone, asking to have a coffee, to chat. But desperate people like me try too hard. People don't like people like me. I'm a social "loser".

I'm losing my identity, because I'm creating friends (writing) for myself. I write books (I have written 3), where I'm the main character. And, in my books, I have friends. I know it's pitiful.

When I'm going about my life, work, etc, in my mind I'm one of the characters of my book, and I talk (in my mind) to myself. I wanna know how is my day, how I'm feeling... it's really pathetic, I know.

I'm losing myself. I'm drifting. I can't explain. I wanna stop, but if I'm not talking to myself, who's gonna talk to me? Who's gonna "care for me"? I'm the only friend I've got. I don't wanna be mad.

I've been to a psychiatrist in the past, with depression. He cured my depression with medicines, but that was it. Therapy didn't help me. He said there is nothing wrong with me. I'm just... lonely...

I realize you all have got problems, so, I thank you very much for your time, for reading my rant.

If I can "pay back", do anything for any one of you, please, just let me know. I've "ranted" on you; you can "rant" on me. :shy:

 

[sierra]

Here is a hug for you, ((Kgu)) I know it's only an internet hug but maybe it will help a little. People can be mean but you can't write off everyone because one mean person started trouble. In a group a lot of people don't want to make waves and it doesn't mean they are bad people they probably just don't want to deal with the drama. If the mean person is a popular person in the group that could explain it right there. Maybe they don't want her to lie about them. I think it's awesome that you are a writer. That's a big accomplishment. I hope you feel better soon. If I ever have a rant I'll tell you.

 

[Dessa]

Aw internet SUPERHUG (It means I hug you long time.) Sorry about that. Seriously fresia those people. They're obviously the losers who can't stand up for someone innocent. You're right, you don't need those people. Good luck, man. May you find some awesome people who will make you feel good.

 

[kgu]

Thank you very much, sierra and OCI355A for the hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've tried to be positive today (after ranting... lol). I've cleaned the house, then I went jogging and I've watched a movie (on TV "the enemy of state") which I had recorded a week ago, or so.

Tonight I'll eat out. I'm adamant on keeping myself company! When I drink a soda at the restaurant tonight, I'll think of you two, and on the other people who've been kind to me here. I'm not alone, after all.

How to thank you? Words don't seem enough. But, for lacking of something better, here it goes:

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[VanillaCreme]

I think that's the problem, when people "try" to make friends. Honestly, friendships just happen. It's something that naturally occurs. Not something forced, or something that you have to bait people into. The whole point of having a friend is to know that someone that you know likes you for who you are, and not because of circumstance or pressure.

 

[sierra]

kgu, when you have that drink and think of us we might be thinking of you right back.

I do agree with VanillaCreme too, friendships usually just start up in a minute, a casual and natural thing. I think you'd make a great friend to have.

 

[Poueff]

Well,this just proves that friends aren-t as loyal as one can think they are... oh well...

Btw,hope the drink has alcohol. That usually does the trick.

 

[stalinorgel]

The mean person you describe is probably bipolar or something. I know someone very much like that. They're very nasty when not on their meds, almost evil in some ways, depending on the degree. Stay away from negative people like that like the plague.

Most people are in general friendly. Perhaps try making friends with older folks. I have a few buddies in their 40s-50s, and honestly, I like them better than people my age sometimes, as human beings.

This generation (19-30), it seems, is really indoctrinated in this kinda of pseudo-elitist sense of self-worth, when they're really just seemingly compensating for something.

 

[kgu]

I think that's the problem, when people "try" to make friends. Honestly, friendships just happen...

I believe you're right. It's the thing I say "I try too hard". I'll just let it go.

Having said that, the fact I'm here shows I'm trying again.

---

Well,this just proves that friends aren-t as loyal as one can think they are... oh well...

Btw,hope the drink has alcohol. That usually does the trick.

No alcohol for me , I don't drink alcohol. I like sweet things and I find alcoholic drinks bitter. Also, my parents drank a lot when I was a child and I developed an "uninterest" in alcohol.

I've been to an Indian restaurant and I had a soda. The food was great!

---

The mean person you describe is probably bipolar or something. I know someone very much like that. They're very nasty when not on their meds, almost evil in some ways, depending on the degree. Stay away from negative people like that like the plague.

Most people are in general friendly. Perhaps try making friends with older folks. I have a few buddies in their 40s-50s, and honestly, I like them better than people my age sometimes, as human beings.

This generation (19-30), it seems, is really indoctrinated in this kinda of pseudo-elitist sense of self-worth, when they're really just seemingly compensating for something.

I am a woman, in my 40s. The person is over 50. There are nice people and not so nice people of all ages.

I think you're right about steering away from this kind of people. I don't wanna be hurt again. I'm very fragile. Super confident about work, and other things, but very vulnerable to what people say, or think, of me. I'm really fragile. Anyone can easily break me to little pieces by saying something nasty, by lying about me. I should be stronger, but that can't be changed overnight... I guess I've gotta live with myself.

 

[Peter Lorre]

I'm sorry to read about those nasty things happening to you, sure hope it's going better now!

You should be proud of yourself though, for not giving up and the fact that you actually got out there and tried to make some friends (eventhough they turned out to be pretty much worthless ). I know quite a few people in their fourties who've lost almost all their friends and who just don't bother anymore.

So keep up the good work! And if I can help in any way, it won't hurt to let me know

 

[jjam]

kgu: I don't wanna be mad
kgu: then don't be

Yes, I'm telling you don't be, but I posted it that way because I really want you to try saying it to yourself. Say it, snap your fingers, and realize the simple truth - that you can't control other people, but you can definitely control yourself.

 

[Nightwatcher]

Sorry to hear about what happened first of.

People like that are losers for doing such a thing to someone, conformity can really suck. I must say that you should not feel bad for trying its easy to say that you are not able to do something, at least you tried. I agree with Vanilla friendships just happen people like each other for who they are as persons.